Sanitation Worker Digs Around Truck For Source Of Weird Smell

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NEW YORK—Reflexively wincing at the offensive and unidentified odor, local sanitation worker Joe Nuzzi reportedly dug around his garbage truck Friday looking for the source of a weird smell. “Ew, something stinks—what the hell is that?” said Nuzzi, who reached his arm behind and under his seat to see if he had perhaps dropped a food item that had since spoiled. According to reports, he then pulled over to look in the back of his trash collection vehicle, tossing huge bags of steamy garbage aside in search of a spilled or not-quite-empty beverage that could have gone rancid. “Is it coming from outside or inside—it’s inside, right? Yuck. Damn it, I’ve Febrezed this thing like a million times. I can’t for the life of me figure out what it could be.” At press time, sources confirmed Nuzzi had located the culprit: a rotten banana that was hidden beneath an old pile of wet, flattened rats.