RIYADH—Championing the brutal murder and dismemberment of the journalist as a humanitarian effort, Saudi crown prince Mohammed bin Salman on Friday reportedly touted the hundreds of Yemeni lives saved by the Saudis’ spending so much time focused on killing Jamal Khashoggi. “I can now confirm that the death of Mr. Khashoggi was planned meticulously and far in advance, sparing untold numbers of Yemeni civilians who we didn’t have the time or resources to slaughter,” said bin Salman, describing the lifesaving efforts of the Saudi leadership to concentrate weeks of careful planning on the murder of a single journalist and subsequent cover-up rather than annihilating a large, indiscriminate group of Yemeni people. “We were so determined to pull off this murder that we took our best trained killers off Yemeni jobs to be in the death squad that we sent to the Turkish embassy. Plus, we were so preoccupied with how to ensure that his death was painful that we weren’t spending any time plotting how to cause the most horrendous massacres possible, allowing scores of Yemenis attending weddings or traveling on school field trips to survive. Our focus on killing Mr. Khashoggi has granted hundreds of Yemenis the gift of life.” The crown prince added that the Saudis were prepared to save the lives of even more Yemenis if they could reallocate their resources to inflict mass starvation and a cholera epidemic on a few dissident journalists instead.

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