Illustration for article titled Scientists Claim Solar Energy Will Be Capable Of Powering 95% Of Scorchlands Outposts By 2085

STANFORD, CA—Saying the findings reflected the promise of a sustainable future, Stanford University’s Global Climate and Energy Project issued a report Thursday predicting that solar energy will be able to power 95 percent of Scorchlands outposts by 2085. “Based on current trends in renewables, we estimate that in less than a century, solar power will be able to meet almost all of the energy needs of the warring tribes eking out crude existences in the Scorchlands’ cracked, lifeless landscape,” said climate researcher Eugene Lee, adding that advances in photovoltaic panels meant that even a small solar grid could likely provide outposts with the electricity they need to filter water, heat their rudimentary shacks, and power sustainment pods when noxious dust storms rendered the air lethal to breathe. “Of course, the ashen smoke that will sometimes blot out the sun for days will occasionally require the use of other technologies such as furnaces powered by the cremation of outcasts. But make no mistake, while denizens of the Scorchlands will tend to die young and violently, it is solar power that will enable them to survive at least long enough to participate in a few raids on neighboring clans.” The report also concluded that fuel cell technology will likely advance far enough by 2085 to charge the electrified cages in which criminals will fight to the death for the favor of the Scorchland Lord.


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