MAPLEWOOD, MN—In what the company described as “a delicious way to clean dishes,” abrasive product manufacturer Scotch-Brite announced Thursday it would begin offering a new scouring bread specifically designed for wiping up any dried pasta sauce that is left behind on a plate. “With our all-new, heavy-duty scouring bread, you’ll be able to remove even the toughest Alfredo or marinara stains from your dishes and then eat them,” read the accompanying press release, which stated that the completely edible product was made from a stiff, low-hydration dough that was optimal for scrubbing off and sopping up caked-on sauce debris, ensuring none of “that thick, hearty bolognese you love” would ever go to waste. “It works for soup, too: Whether you’re dealing with a stubborn chowder or day-old, ground-in chili, our scouring bread makes quick work of all those tasty morsels that would otherwise stay stuck on your plate forever. Pre-sliced and available in white, whole wheat, or rye.” The press release went on to add that the product was easy to swallow and intended for one-time use only.
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