Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

We may earn a commission from links on this page.
Start Slideshow
Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Everyone else is already insulting you, the last thing you need is for your own brain to join in. Here are several self-deprecating comments that are actually really harmful.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“I’m a disaster at dating!”

“I’m a disaster at dating!”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Don’t dwell in this negative headspace when it’s more likely you just haven’t found someone who appreciates all your hideous qualities.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“I have such a weird-looking body.”

“I have such a weird-looking body.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Great, now everyone has to acknowledge it and lie to make you feel better.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“I’m 5-foot-6.”

“I’m 5-foot-6.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re at least 5-foot-7.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“I had one chance to assassinate President Reagan, and I totally blew it.”

“I had one chance to assassinate President Reagan, and I totally blew it.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Whoa, whoa, whoa, maybe reframe that as falling a little short but getting farther than anyone else had.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“I’m a fifth-round pick at best.”

“I’m a fifth-round pick at best.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Talking like this in front of a microphone can hurt your chances of being drafted at all.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“But I don’t know anything about defusing bombs.”

“But I don’t know anything about defusing bombs.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Not now, focus!

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“I’m such a worthless piece of shit, nobody would care if I lived or died.”

“I’m such a worthless piece of shit, nobody would care if I lived or died.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Even a hilarious joke like this has a cry for help buried deep beneath the surface.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“I don’t deserve to be with someone like you.”

“I don’t deserve to be with someone like you.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

This isn’t a realization you could have arrived at before we put a deposit down on the venue and booked a photographer?

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“I’m so clumsy, I tripped going up the stairs to accept my Oscar!”

“I’m so clumsy, I tripped going up the stairs to accept my Oscar!”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Bragging.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“Folks, that was a total fluke, I swear I usually suck at this.”

“Folks, that was a total fluke, I swear I usually suck at this.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Modesty is all well and good, but people want to feel confident in their pilot’s abilities.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“I deserve to be flattened underneath a low-flying blimp.”

“I deserve to be flattened underneath a low-flying blimp.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

It’s all the more harmful if you say it within earshot of a blimp pilot.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“It’s too late for me to accomplish anything truly great in my life.”

“It’s too late for me to accomplish anything truly great in my life.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Many people made their greatest contributions later in life, so do not give up! Unless you’re already over 35 or something.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“I’m sorry for the havoc my country’s military has wreaked upon your country.”

“I’m sorry for the havoc my country’s military has wreaked upon your country.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Show some damn pride, pinko. USA number #1!

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“I’m not good enough to eat my grandma’s homemade pierogi.”

“I’m not good enough to eat my grandma’s homemade pierogi.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Seriously, she made them just for you and you’re going to let them go to waste like that?

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“No way, your Subway uniform looks even better than my rinky-dink ballgown.”

“No way, your Subway uniform looks even better than my rinky-dink ballgown.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

It was harmful enough to come into a Subway sandwich shop after a black-tie event, but this is just a step too far.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“All in all, I guess things are going pretty well.”

“All in all, I guess things are going pretty well.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

They’re going great, you stupid fucking shit.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“I’m not good enough to read The Onion.”

“I’m not good enough to read The Onion.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

Hey now, you’re almost at the end of the slideshow.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

“Don’t worry, I hate myself too.”

“Don’t worry, I hate myself too.”

Image for article titled Self-Deprecating Comments That Are Actually Really Harmful

The word “hate” may not fully capture the depths to which another person loathes you.

Advertisement