WASHINGTON—The members of the U.S. Senate were seen Tuesday packing up their Capitol offices after the Senate reportedly lost their Congress contract to an upstart private legislator firm. “Well, it’s been a good run being in charge of Congress, but an aging government organization like the Senate just can’t compete with one of these hotshot private sector startups,” said Patty Murray, one of the longest-serving U.S. senators, after finding out that the Senate had been outbid by Congressional Enterprises, LLC for the new Congress contract and would now relinquish control of America’s upper house of the legislature to the 43-employee Miami-based firm. “We hoped to renew our contract, but evidently the powers that be decided to go in a different direction. It’s disappointing for us since most of us are getting up there in years and it’s going to be hard to shift careers, but you can see the appeal of a cutting-edge newcomer filled with bright young people making new laws all the time. Plus, their online presence is much better than ours. I must say, I’m jealous of the new congressional high-rise they’ve got down in Florida. Apparently, they’ve also poached a few senators, which must be why Cory [Booker] and Ben [Sasse] have been acting all weird lately. Well, good luck to the House of Representatives working with this new LLC to write and pass new U.S. laws.” At press time, most of the members of the Senate announced they were moving into the private sector as well, opening Senate Executive Advisors, a new consultant firm that would provide governmental expertise to select U.S. client states.