JUPITER, FL—Suggesting the upcoming U.S. Open could very well be her last tournament, Serena Williams announced Tuesday she would soon be retiring from tennis to focus on dominating the field of motherhood. “I’ve had my eye on becoming the greatest mother in the world for a long time, and I have now reached the point in my career at which I must pivot to achieving that goal,” said Williams, who stated that she would be training tirelessly in her quest to cement her place among the world’s top caretakers and nurturers. “From Russia to France to Australia, no other mom will be able to compete. When you hear the word ‘mother,’ you will think ‘Serena Williams.’ Granted, there are some really promising young mothers coming up, but they won’t be a match for me.” At press time, “Tom Brady” had begun trending on Twitter as fans argued he was a way better mother than Williams.