With their made-up, overly complicated stories that dopes like you still manage to believe, pathological liars can be recognized by the following signs.
They Break Eye Contact For Even A Second
Everyone already knows that honest people can maintain prolonged, unblinking eye contact regardless of conversation length.
Embellishing With Adjectives
Oh sure, the mountain was “enormous.” Liar.
They Keep Saying, ‘God, I Love All These Endorphins I Keep Getting From My Untruthfulness’
If they keep punctuating their stories with this phrase, it’s a sure sign that something might be off.
They Tell Dramatic, Highly Unlikely Stories That Fall Apart In The Third Act
A pathological liar’s story usually starts off with a compelling setup and call to action, but falls flat with a clunky, unconvincing resolution.
They Work In Any Level Of Federal, State, Or Local Government
The first sign of a pathological liar is if they’ve been elected to an office of any kind. Bonus points if they’ve survived for more than a term.
They Embellish Their Stories With Details About Richard Dreyfuss
It’s a little bit suspicious when every wild story they tell includes excessive details about parasailing with Richard Dreyfuss, besting Richard Drefuss in a game of chess, and riding around town on the back of Richard Dreyfuss’s Harley that seem like they’re only there to impress you.
They At Times Use Words With Multiple Meanings
If they tell you a story involving a crane, you know that they are intending to deceive and likely destroy you.
They Told You They Had A Nice Time After Your Date
They must be some sort of sociopathic mastermind if they told you with a straight face that they enjoyed spending time with you.
Yeah, look in the fucking mirror, buddy. Everything good you believe about yourself, every last lie you tell yourself to get out of bed in the morning, it’s all horseshit. You’re dirt. You’re nothing. You built your castle on sand and now the great wave of reality is about to crash down upon it.
You Met Them In A Support Group For Other Pathological Liars
Unless they were lying about being one? Holy shit.
They Are Poor
Uh huh, yeah, we’re sure you don’t have any money to feed your family, okay.
They Use The Bathroom Designated For Pathological Liars
Either they’re outright admitting it or the line at the honesty urinal was way too long.
They Are Not The Little Man Who Lives In Your Head That Tells You To Hurt People
Only trust the Little Man. The Little Man is your friend. The Little Man would never betray you.
They Have A Gap Tooth
It’s more correlation than causation, and a fairly weak correlation at that. But hey, it’s something.
They Say They Own Two Cars
Bullshit! Only billionaires could afford two modes of transportation.
They Say Yes, But Shake Their Head No While Clapping Their Hands And Barking Like A Seal
Which one is it? Yes, no, or bark, bark, bark?
They Tell You How Gorgeous You Are
I mean, you’re okay, but come on, “gorgeous?”
What? Sorry... Just click to the next slide.
They End Every Sentence With, ‘So Did You Believe That Lie I Just Told?’
Not only is this annoying, but it’s also is usually a dead giveaway.
They Are Not You
Trust no one, stay inside. They’re all trying to get you!
They Tell You Jon Snow Murders Danaerys At The End Of ‘Game Of Thrones’
Oh, he did? Well, that was a stupid way to end the show.