
With the significant increase in deceptive activity online, The Onion provides a handy guide to determine if someone is catfishing you.
With the significant increase in deceptive activity online, The Onion provides a handy guide to determine if someone is catfishing you.
Sure, they might claim to be shy or value their privacy, but since those are traits that have mostly been eradicated by living in a surveillance state, this is cause for suspicion.
That kind of elusiveness is shady as fuck.
This is a pretty dead giveaway.
And they make you feel like you’re being insensitive when you want to know more about their condition.
Honestly, why else would someone interact with you?
Whether the photos are identical to the ones on your Instagram or unsettling snaps of you sleeping that you’ve never seen before, you can be reasonably sure that the person you’re talking to is not actually you.
Your countless flaws make getting to know you a slogging death march. Take note if they don’t seem weighted down by your mediocrity.
There are only so many times you can cave-dive, develop photographs, or visit a bat farm together before you have to start asking questions.
Clearly they were playing the long con.
You know something is up if someone online is communicating with you in thoughtful and comprehensible sentences.
You may be used to paying a reasonable fee for basic human interaction but not $10,000.
If they haven’t threatened to kill you or your family, clearly they aren’t a real person on the Internet who knows how to properly talk to people.
They have a history of being targeted online.
They’re either catfishing you or too cheap to pay for their own modeling photos, both of which are red flags.
Everyone knows it takes at least 18 dates before you know for sure whether or not you’ve been dating a body double.
Sorry, babe, your man is just too good to be true.
They may be catfishing you, but honestly, you sound like the dangerous one.
Ask if you can see them doing something besides leading the Spartans.