Signs You Are Experiencing Ageism In The Workplace

You’re excluded from any discussion of next week’s presentation under the assumption you’ll be dead or at least fully incapacitated by disease.

Although it might be coming from a good place, these young whippersnappers don’t realize that you’re perfectly capable of wiping yourself, thank you very much!

Even though you’re not Catholic, your top supervisor constantly recites your final prayers in case you die in the middle of the discussion over Q2 sales.

Decades spent acquiring the wisdom of age to transmute flesh and rend limbs from body using only your mental energy may terrify your officemates, but it’s no excuse for them to flee from you in horror or curse you out as a Black Magi of powers most dark.

If you find your coworkers routinely “forgetting” to CC you on invitations to their weekly nights out at Geezers’ Lounge, it might be time to start keeping documentation. Don’t forget, age discrimination goes both ways.

One of the surefire signs that your coworkers are discounting you based on your age.

100% of workers over 35 years of age are considered incompetent and out of touch by at least one coworker. If you’re thinking “Not me, though!” you are wrong.

Under the pretense of discussing some work-related matter, your boss tries to get in close and massage some brown or blonde gel into your grays.

Funny, none of your younger coworkers were presented with a photo of the artist behind recent chart-topping hits such as “Say So” and “Kiss Me More.”

It’s a harmful stereotype that all older women know how to knit when many only know how to crochet.

Some age discrimination can come in the form of subtle behavioral changes.

It’s not acceptable for your coworkers to bring in a certified mortuary worker to apply humectant to your flesh and stuff your orifices to prevent leakage. Even if it’s part of an office joke, put your foot down and say enough is enough!

Getting stuck with busywork like going through old pictures from your Depression-era childhood is a common age-discrimination tactic.

While there are many reasons for superiors to force you to wear the Shame Hat and bind you up in the Room of Humiliation, age is not only an unfair one—it’s illegal!

While they may claim it’s all in good fun, this can actually be a pernicious form of discrimination.

Although there are other reasons your boss could be cornering you in his office with a noose, age discrimination is often the culprit.

Maybe well-intentioned, but it says something about how you’re perceived when only you are told about the company’s 20% contribution to the cost of a casket bought within the next six months.

Female coworkers simply laugh off your repeated requests to take them to a nice steak dinner.

Taking care of the office goats is a duty that traditionally gets relegated to the aging members of the office in the hopes that they will get the hint that it’s time to retire.

Not only is this type of behavior insulting, but constantly getting zapped by its 3,000-volt charges makes it hard to focus.

Be on the lookout for coded age-based comments such as concerns about the presence of a fontanel or a lack of object permanence.