Signs You Definitely Smoke Too Much Weed

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You Are Derek

Research has found no stronger indicator of excess weed smoking than being Derek.

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You Laugh Even Once

Whether cracking up for hours or a single chuckle under your breath, laughing is a clear indication that you’re high out of your gourd.

4 / 24

You Know The Difference Between Indica And Sativa

Honestly the fact that you’re aware of what those are at all is a red flag.

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You Voluntarily Eat At Subway

Can’t you see what you’re doing to your body? The tomatoes are white.

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You Wake Up In The Middle Of The Night In A Cold Sweat Shouting, ‘Weed! Weed!’

And you won’t stop wailing until your mother brings in a bong to comfort you.

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You Can Tolerate Your Job

Only someone baked beyond belief would be able to show up at that place five days a week.

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You Are Currently At An Intervention

Stop clicking through this slideshow, your friends and family are concerned for you.

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Adventure Time Tattoo

It’s time to claim back some self-respect.

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You Suddenly Realize No One Loves You And That You Are Going To Die

While this would be true regardless of whether you were high or not, having the realization is a good sign you have been smoking a lot of weed.

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Your Lungs And Brain Are Used As A Cautionary Tale For Children

Your corpse probably shouldn’t be on display as a reason not to do so many drugs.

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Weed Has Taken The Place Of Other Drugs You Used To Enjoy

You used to have a rich, vibrant existence that included meth, heroin, and cocaine, but they’ve all been pushed aside for this substance that’s taken over your life.

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Your Picture Comes Up When Doing An Image Search For ‘Marijuana’ And Six Different Side Effects

You probably don’t even know that your face is what millions of people online associate with euphoria, relaxation, increased appetite, anxiety, paranoia, and acute psychosis.

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You’ve Made Every Object You Own Into A Bong

Sure, fashioning a bong out of an apple or a soda can is a fun little project, but your table? Your daughter’s computer? Your stairs?

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When You Walk In The Room, Everyone Else Gets A Contact High

People should not get high if they stand a few feet away from you and breathe normally, full stop.

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You Have The Overwhelming Urge To Write The Album Help!

Experiencing compulsions to write introspective pop melodies is an almost surefire sign that you need to lay off the herb.

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Your Pupils Are Enlarged Weed Leaves

Look in the mirror. An obvious sign of excessive weed use is dilated pupils that have morphed into the shape of a five-pronged pot leaf.

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You’re Still Clicking Through This Slideshow

You’d have to be blasted out of your mind on that green goody-oody to make it this far through a fucking slideshow.

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You Can’t Go To A Phish Concert Without Smoking Weed

Learn to live in the moment for once.

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You’re Seeing Grobert

Casual weed smokers don’t see Grobert—he only comes for those who’ve made marijuana a part of their lifestyle, so beware!

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You Find Television Enjoyable

There’s enjoying some pot, and then there’s some really dire signs that you’re addicted.

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You Live In A Little Bong House Built Under The Shade Of A Cannabis Plant

It doesn’t matter how much you love falling asleep every night curled up in your bowl, snuggled up under a dime bag with your anthropomorphic nug wife— once your whole lifestyle revolves around weed, it’s time to give it up.

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You...What Was It...You Were Doing The...What Was...Ah Fuck We Forget What The Sign Was...Haha, It Was Like ‘You Live In A Little Bong House Built Under The Shade Of A Cannabis Plant’...Wait We Wrote That One Already...Hahahahahaha Shit...What Were We Sayong...Wait...Oh My God We Said ‘Sayong’...Hahahahahahahahaha...Ahh...

Shin...I Mean Shit...FUCK HAHAAhhha

We should lay down...hahahahhaa...and...hahahahahahahhahahaha.