Signs You’ve Spent Too Much Time With Your Family Over The Holidays

That’s valuable bandwidth that could be better used elsewhere.

It didn’t quite recall you at first, but after more than a week, ol’ Roscoe has finally placed your scent as belonging to the human whose suitcase it’s going to shit in.

Seeing how small and petty your whole family is exactly why this should have been an overnight stay, max.

Has no one ever heard of boundaries?

It’s so cool how you can stumble across a movie that’s already halfway through!

All the fabrications you rehearsed about your life before your arrival are totally exhausted, and now you’re just improvising bullshit about how great things are going.

It’s a subtle cue but an important one.

If you’re feeling a comfortable, contented feeling of peace and togetherness with your closest relations, you gotta get out there, now.

You’ve logged so many movies over the holidays that you now couldn’t care less that you’re just a few feet away from your mother, father, and even grandparents as nude actors absolutely go to town on each other.

Shit, shit, shit! You were supposed to be back at work months ago!

You do not remember purchasing or receiving these pajamas but here you are. So you must have put them on at some point. You must like this. Yes. You feel warm and comfortable here. Probably best not to overthink it. Yes.

When you spent enough time to repair your parent’s marriage and get them back in love, you may have overstayed your visit with the family.

Dude, you need to get out of that house now before it’s too late.

Don’t worry, you can still watch our archive of video infographics to keep you hanging on.

Well, you got what you came for. Goodbye, everyone!

What are you, a fireman?

You came here just for free food and amenities, not for community service.

Repeated exposure to things you hate can sometimes lead to a desire to have sex with that thing.

You’re itching to go back, but you have no idea where. Your return ticket says Los Angeles. Could that be right?

This level of insolence must never be tolerated by someone of your rank and station.

This is nothing a quick and unannounced departure can’t fix.