Signs Your Boss Might Actually Hate You

Signs Your Boss Might Actually Hate You

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Your boss may claim to be your friend in the workplace, but deep down, they’re secretly a powerful, deep-seated enemy that is hell-bent on your demise. Here’s how to know if your manager actually hates you.

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It’s On The Agenda Of The Weekly Kickoff Meeting

It’s On The Agenda Of The Weekly Kickoff Meeting

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It’s right there in black and white under the heading “What Are We Gonna Do About This Asshole?”

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The Tone Of Their Emails Change

The Tone Of Their Emails Change

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When their regards go from “best” to “warm” to “lukewarm” to “room temperature,” you’re officially on their bad side.

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The Desk Of Pain

The Desk Of Pain

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If you’re always getting “randomly” assigned to sit at the Desk of Pain, it’s a sure sign your boss hates you.

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A Certain Stiffness In Their Embrace

A Certain Stiffness In Their Embrace

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Ostensibly you still cuddle, but there’s a kind of hesitance, almost reluctance, you’ve never felt before.

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They Earn 100 Times Your Salary

They Earn 100 Times Your Salary

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This kind of perpetual punishment could only be doled out by someone who genuinely wishes you ill.

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They Glare At You From Across The Room And Run Their Finger Across Their Neck

They Glare At You From Across The Room And Run Their Finger Across Their Neck

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While this could either mean that they want to kill you or that you make them want to kill themselves, neither option bodes well.

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All Your Paychecks Are Made Out To Someone Named “Dumb Asshole”

All Your Paychecks Are Made Out To Someone Named “Dumb Asshole”

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Sure the amount is correct, but it still may be cause for concern.

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Boss Asks You Your Casket Measurements

Boss Asks You Your Casket Measurements

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Even worse if they ask if you’d ever consider being cremated.

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You Constantly Get Promoted

You Constantly Get Promoted

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Seems counterintuitive, but your boss knows exactly how toxic your company is and loves the thought of you getting drawn deeper and deeper into hell.

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They Send You A Calendar Invite For A Meeting Titled “One-On-One Check-In,” But When The Date Arrives, They Never Show

They Send You A Calendar Invite For A Meeting Titled “One-On-One Check-In,” But When The Date Arrives, They Never Show

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And you sat there in that conference room for hours like a complete fool in the business-casual outfit you agonized over, just waiting as the candle on the conference table burned out.

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You’re Self-Employed

You’re Self-Employed

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Hard to argue that you are kind of an asshole.

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You Keep Getting Passed Over For Harassment

You Keep Getting Passed Over For Harassment

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Year after year, your far less marginalized peers somehow get targeted with far more sexual innuendo and dehumanizing behavior.

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A Rattlesnake Is Put Between You And Your Paycheck

A Rattlesnake Is Put Between You And Your Paycheck

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Weirdly, no one else in marketing has ever had to frantically suck the venom out of their ankle to get paid.

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They Wear Googly Eyes To Every Meeting

They Wear Googly Eyes To Every Meeting

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If midway through the meeting they start snoring, you might want to start looking for another job.

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They Take You To A Fancy Restaurant With New Potential Clients

They Take You To A Fancy Restaurant With New Potential Clients

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They know full well that your country bumpkin ass can’t tell a oyster fork from a fish fork, so they must take pleasure in watching you make a fool of yourself.

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You Aren’t In Their Will

You Aren’t In Their Will

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You delivered above-average Q3 revenue, yet when your boss suddenly dies, they leave their fortune to their three kids and spouse of 47 years?

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Files A Restraining Order Against You

Files A Restraining Order Against You

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No employer who truly values you would need to get the courts involved.

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They Hired You At This Job In The First Place

They Hired You At This Job In The First Place

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Only someone who truly hates your guts would consign you to a fate like this.

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