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2002 February
2/27/2002 - Treasury Department Badly Needs Ones And Fives
2/27/2002 - Genetically Modified Broccoli Shrieks Benefits At Shopper
2/27/2002 - Parents' Password Cracked On First Try
2/27/2002 - Upset Woman Forced To Re-Sigh Louder
2/27/2002 - $5 Million Bounty Placed On Recession
2/27/2002 - Lee Greenwood Urges U.S. To Take Military Action Against Iraq
2/27/2002 - I Almost Lost It All
2/27/2002 - The Cigarette Tax
2/27/2002 - The New
Sesame Street
2/27/2002 - Man Back With Woman His Best Friend Spent Week Criticizing
2/27/2002 - New Cell-Phone Features
2/27/2002 - Ad-Agency Art Director 'Humbly Honored' To Be Working With Absolut
2/27/2002 - Horoscope for the week of February 27, 2002
2/27/2002 - March Named Breast Cancer Obliviousness Month
2/27/2002 - LL Cool J Struggles To Come Up With Way To Brag About Being In
Rollerball
2/27/2002 - Who Knew It Would Be So Easy To Impersonate A Priest?
2/27/2002 - Warranty Outlasts Company
2/27/2002 - School Bully Not So Tough Since Being Molested
2/20/2002 - Israeli High-School Students Hoping Suicide Bombing Postpones Exam
2/20/2002 - Man's Dream To Get Drunk In An A-Frame Finally Realized
2/20/2002 - Conrad Bain Steps Down As National Kitsch-Reference Laureate
2/20/2002 - Guy Who Just Wiped Out Immediately Claims He's Fine
2/20/2002 - Dog Keeps Iceland Awake All Night
2/20/2002 - New Bin Laden Tape Contains Three Previously Unreleased Monologues
2/20/2002 - The Axis Of Evil
2/20/2002 - Women's Olympic Bobsled Team Hopes To Inspire Young Girls To Bobsled
2/20/2002 - Horoscope for the week of February 20, 2002
2/20/2002 - Worst-Selling Maps
2/20/2002 - 18-Year-Old Miraculously Finds Soulmate In Hometown
2/20/2002 - Chat-Room Shorthand
2/20/2002 - Americans Would Be Outraged If They Understood Enron Collapse
2/20/2002 - That Trip To Canada Really Broadened My Horizons
2/20/2002 - This $29 Will Feed My Family Or Put A Pittsburgh Steelers Cap On My Head
2/20/2002 - Work Friends Not Mingling With Other Friends
2/20/2002 -
Now That's What I Call Shitty Music 8
Tops Album Charts
2/14/2002 - Don't Tell Me You've Never Wondered What Yoda's Penis Looks Like
2/14/2002 - Wedding Enjoyed By No One But Bride
2/13/2002 - Actors Decide To Go On With Sitcom Despite Cancellation
2/13/2002 - Senate Subcommittee On Energy And Water Development More Like A Family
2/13/2002 - Vanquished Foe's Skull Makes Surprisingly Bad Wine Goblet
2/13/2002 - Woman Who Claims Book Changed Her Life Has Not Changed
2/13/2002 - Moviegoer Can Already See Where Commercials Will Go
2/13/2002 - Smiling Willie Nelson Reflects On A Lifetime Of Weed And Women
2/13/2002 - Holocaust Museum Cashier Has Yet Another Depressing Day
2/13/2002 - What Artwork Is Adorning Our Walls?
2/13/2002 - The Defense Budget
2/13/2002 - Minnie Driver Optioned By Harrison Ford
2/13/2002 - Incurable Romantic? Guilty As Charged!
2/13/2002 - Horoscope for the week of February 13, 2002
2/13/2002 - 18,000 Sports Fans Doing Whatever Dancing Fluorescent Chicken Tells Them
2/13/2002 - The New Dating Shows
2/13/2002 - When You Are Ready To Have A Serious Conversation About Green Lantern, You Have My E-Mail Address
2/13/2002 - Valentine's Day Coming A Little Early In Relationship
2/13/2002 - Planning A Dinner Party
2/13/2002 - Semester Abroad Spent Drinking With Other American Students
2/13/2002 - GE Ad Trumpets Company's Government-Ordered Environmental Cleanup
2/6/2002 - Secretary's Day Has Become So Commercialized
2/6/2002 - Jerry Always Willing To Pick Up Overtime
2/6/2002 - Annoying Ad Turns Man Pro-Whaling
2/6/2002 - Philip Morris CEO Forces Senator To Dance For His Amusement
2/6/2002 - Film Critic Belatedly Comes Up With
Swordfish
Zinger
2/6/2002 - Report: Recently Laid-Off Workers Not Doing Enough To Help Economy
2/6/2002 - The Tyson Split
2/6/2002 - Indo-Pakistani Tensions Mount At Local Amoco
2/6/2002 - Every Social Gathering Is A Chance To Hustle For Contacts
2/6/2002 - Who Needs A Good Cock-Punching?
2/6/2002 - Father Bitter That Son Has Everything He Never Had
2/6/2002 - Kurt Warner Cheered On By Wire-Haired Man-Goblin
2/6/2002 - Bush Earmarks 1.5 Billion Gold Stars For Education
2/6/2002 - Horoscope for the week of February 6, 2002
2/6/2002 - Deaf Man's Deaf Friends Way Too Into Deaf Culture
2/6/2002 - Haunted Tape Dispenser Unsure How To Demonstrate Hauntedness
2/6/2002 - Showers With Girlfriend Increasingly Cleansing-Focused
2/6/2002 - The Al-Qaeda Captives