10/30/2002 - Dishwasher Thinks He's Mentoring Younger Dishwasher

10/30/2002 - U.S. Students Lead World In Detention

10/30/2002 - Plan 'L' Switched To

10/30/2002 - Visible Panty Line Discussed Like It's Cancer

10/30/2002 - Adam Sandler Fans Disappointed By Intelligent, Nuanced Performance

10/30/2002 - Headache-Relief Tips

10/30/2002 - I Gotta Drop A Few Pounds

10/30/2002 - Would You Like To Give A Dollar To Prove You Don't Hate Crippled Kids?

10/30/2002 - Horoscope for the week of October 30, 2002

10/30/2002 - Man Feels 19 Again After Not Getting Laid

10/30/2002 - North Korean Nukes

10/30/2002 - Claimed Vs. Actual Causes Of Scars

10/30/2002 - Playboy's Overhaul

10/30/2002 - Mudslide Kind Of Fun Until The Dying Part

10/30/2002 - Daytime-Talk-Show Mixup Leads To 1,000-Pound- Man Makeover

10/30/2002 - Woman Mad Boyfriend Not Jealous She Danced With Other Guy

10/30/2002 - Kevin Bacon Linked To Al-Qaeda

10/30/2002 - Phone-Sex Ad Masturbated To For 0 Cents A Minute

10/23/2002 - Nails, Hair Cared For Better ThanĀ Child

10/23/2002 - Man In Break Room Can Still Hear Time Clock Ticking Loudly

10/23/2002 - Linebacker Faces Suspension For Genocide

10/23/2002 - Civil War Historians Posit 'You Had To Be There' Theory

10/23/2002 - CEO Would Trade 5 Percent Of Stock Options For 10 Percent More Time With His Kids

10/23/2002 - Prison Warden Appears On Leno With Some Of His Favorite Prisoners

10/23/2002 - Ask A Third Party Candidate

10/23/2002 - Horoscope for the week of October 23, 2002

10/23/2002 - Why Did We Rent A Limo?

10/23/2002 - Obesity On The Rise

10/23/2002 - High-School Science Teacher Takes Fun And Excitement Out Of Science

10/23/2002 - Nelly Reiterates Sex-Liking Stance

10/23/2002 - 63 Percent Of U.S. Implicated In New Scandal

10/23/2002 - Motorist Overwhelmed By Array Of Jerky Choices

10/23/2002 - The Sniper Attacks

10/23/2002 - My Novel Addresses Universal Themes Of Humanity And Has Fucking

10/23/2002 - Sunken Oil Tanker Will Be Habitat For Marine Life, Shell Executives Say With Straight Face

10/16/2002 - Man Doesn't Realize Date Went Terribly

10/16/2002 - Logo In Corner Of TV Reminds Man He's Masturbating To Spice

10/16/2002 - No One Has Heart To Ask Human Beat Box To Stop

10/16/2002 - Marketing Guru Also A Getting-Divorced Guru

10/16/2002 - You're Not One Of Those Couples Who Secretly Videotape Their Nanny, Are You?

10/16/2002 - New Mistress Seems To Be Good For Area Man

10/16/2002 - Horoscope for the week of October 16, 2002

10/16/2002 - What Are We Gluing To The Governor Of Wyoming?

10/16/2002 - Bush On Economy: 'Saddam Must Be Overthrown'

10/16/2002 - The Dockworkers' Strike

10/16/2002 - Goodwill Toy Section Most Depressing Thing Ever

10/16/2002 - The Tycoon Of 1567 Blossom Meadows Drive

10/16/2002 - 2002 Nobel Prize Winners

10/16/2002 - Baby Found On Doorstep Moved To Neighbor's Doorstep

10/16/2002 - Activity Made Up To Sell Athletic Shoes

10/16/2002 - FAA Considering Passenger Ban

10/16/2002 - Georgia School Board Bans 'Theory Of Math'

10/16/2002 - Religious Pamphlet Sat On

10/9/2002 - Captain's Hat Really Completes Street Lunatic's Ensemble

10/9/2002 - Affable Anti-Semite Thinks The Jews Are Doing Super Job With The Media

10/9/2002 - Horoscope for the week of October 9, 2002

10/9/2002 - Newly Out Gay Man Overdoing It

10/9/2002 - You Know, There Are Some Excellent Red Wines Coming Out Of Argentina vs. I Hate You, I Hate You, I Hate You

10/9/2002 - Snoop Dogg Goes Clean

10/9/2002 - The Preemptive-Strike Debate

10/9/2002 - Gambling-Addiction Study Gets Out Of Hand

10/9/2002 - Horatio Sanz Sweeps Latin Emmys

10/9/2002 - American People Shrug, Line Up For Fingerprinting

10/9/2002 - Top-Selling Executive Gifts

10/9/2002 - Man Looks Forward To Coffee Date With Ex-Girlfriend All Week

10/9/2002 - Frank Gehry No Longer Allowed To Make Sandwiches For Grandkids

10/9/2002 - Starving Third World Masses Warned Against Evils Of Contraception

10/9/2002 - Take Advantage Of Our Two-For-One Scott Tissue Special, For One Day We Will Die

10/9/2002 - New-Versus-Old Electric-Slide Confusion Blamed In Wedding-Reception Pileup

10/9/2002 - Defense Department Typo Results In U.S. Attack On Ira

10/2/2002 - Cage Match Settles Nothing

10/2/2002 - Purchase Justified By Theoretical $50 Rebate

10/2/2002 - Tokyo Squeezes In Five More Residents

10/2/2002 - Band Loudly Discusses Record Deal At IHOP

10/2/2002 - Large Dependent Film Tops Weekend Box Office

10/2/2002 - Bush Seeks U.N. Support For 'U.S. Does Whatever It Wants' Plan

10/2/2002 - Conan 'Conanquers' The Emmys!

10/2/2002 - Horoscope for the week of October 2, 2002

10/2/2002 - The NYC Smoking Ban

10/2/2002 - Least Healthy Fast-Food Items

10/2/2002 - Toll-Booth Girl Hit On Quickly

10/2/2002 - Stephen King Calls It Quits

10/2/2002 - Cable Ace Award Thrown Out In Apartment Move

10/2/2002 - Huge Democracy Geek Even Votes In Primaries

10/2/2002 - I Am The 'Top Gun' Of Commercial Airline Pilots

10/2/2002 - RIAA Sues Radio Stations For Giving Away Free Music

10/2/2002 - Temp Hides Fun, Fulfilling Life From Rest Of Office