Sitemap: 2006 December | The Onion

12/30/2006 - Christian Weightlifter Bends Iron Bar To Show Power Of God's Love

12/29/2006 - Typo Results In 10,000-Acre Wyoming Skate Park

12/28/2006 - Jeff Gordon Never Gets Tired Of Seeing Face On Cheap Plastic Crap

12/27/2006 - President Ford Dead

12/27/2006 - Linebacker Faces Suspension For Genocide

12/26/2006 - Alabama Governor Injured Imitating Pro Wrestling

12/24/2006 - Congress Lowers Killing Age To 19

12/24/2006 - Ghostly Chicken Voice Speaks Of Revenge From Beyond The Grave

12/23/2006 - Personal Philosophy Stolen From Martin Luther King Jr.

12/22/2006 - New Year's Resolutions

12/22/2006 - Pope Converts To Islam, Changes Name To Pope Kareem Abdul-Jabbar II

12/21/2006 - U.S. Ugly Population Hits 299 Million

12/21/2006 - Smoke Alarms May Fail To Wake Children

12/20/2006 - Responsible Holiday Drinking

12/20/2006 - Ore Approval Ratings Plunge Following Mining Disasters

12/19/2006 - Terrorists Paralyzed By Airlines' Ban On Liquids

12/19/2006 - Holiday Travel Plans

12/18/2006 - Tom DeLay Retires From Life Of Crime

12/18/2006 - Mallard Fillmore Scribe DUI

12/18/2006 - Karl Rove Accused Of Throwing Midterm Elections

12/18/2006 - Kevin Federline, Wife Divorce

12/18/2006 - Coretta Scott King's Wiretap Ends

12/18/2006 - Generous Vice President Cheney Gives Hard-Working Media Field Day

12/18/2006 - Ken Lay's Children Inherit 4,000 Pensions

12/18/2006 - Popular Charities of 2006

12/18/2006 - NASA Launches Probe To Inform Pluto Of Demotion

12/18/2006 - Unreported News Stories Of 2006

12/18/2006 - Thousands More Dead In Continuing Iraq Victory

12/18/2006 - Israel Bombs Anti-Semitism Out Of Lebanon

12/18/2006 - Al Gore Caught Warming Globe To Increase Box Office Profits

12/18/2006 - 2007 Horoscopes

12/17/2006 - Homeless Man Bestows God's Blessing On All Within Earshot

12/16/2006 - Tom Bosley Named Secretary Of Naps

12/16/2006 - Scientist Has Nagging Feeling He Left Particle Accelerator Running

12/15/2006 - This Is Your Last Issue!

12/15/2006 - Israelis Talk Nukes

12/15/2006 - Return Letter From Santa Just A String Of Obscenities Directed At Elves

12/14/2006 - Osama Bin Laden Takes Credit For Crocodile Hunter's Death

12/14/2006 - Annan Criticizes Bush

12/14/2006 - NHL Players To Watch

12/14/2006 - Mike Modano: Is He The Tom Brady Of Whatever It Is He Does?

12/14/2006 - Kobe Bryant Mourns Passing Of Ball

12/14/2006 - Apocalypto Star Wants To Show He Can Do Mayan Comedy

12/14/2006 - New Rocky Film Just Three Montages

12/14/2006 - Nation Gears Up For Hockey's First Season Following Lockout

12/14/2006 - Area Man Claims To Be NHL Hall Of Famer

12/14/2006 - On Allen Iverson Leaving Philadelphia

12/14/2006 - Street Team Of NHL Players Posts Fliers Promoting Upcoming Game

12/14/2006 - Astronaut's Heart Just Not In This Mission

12/14/2006 - Dec. 29, 1987

12/13/2006 - Apocalypto Tops Box Office

12/13/2006 - New Sirius Radio Programs

12/13/2006 - Worst Product Slogans

12/13/2006 - Dictator Slays Millions In Last-Minute Push To Be Time's Man Of The Year

12/13/2006 - How Did I End Up On The Cover Of This Romance Novel?

12/13/2006 - Senator's MySpace Top 8 All Corporations

12/13/2006 - The Last Thing America Needs Is Another President

12/13/2006 - Local Building Too Wheelchair-Friendly

12/13/2006 - Failed Attempt At Hyperbole Yields Dead-On Statistic

12/13/2006 - Your Horoscope

12/12/2006 - Ho, Ho, Ho! I Saw You Masturbating!

12/12/2006 - Editorial Cartoon - December 13, 2006

12/12/2006 - Clinton Finally Takes Responsibility For Bush Administration's Failures

12/12/2006 - Chile's Pinochet Dead

12/12/2006 - World Leaders

12/12/2006 - Marine Hopes To Spend Second Tour Of Duty On Different Baghdad City Block

12/12/2006 - Ho, Ho, Ho! I Saw You Masturbating!

12/11/2006 - Brass Section Sucking Up To Conductor Again

12/11/2006 - Peter Gallagher Voted Eyebrow Magazine's Man Of The Year

12/11/2006 - Discouraged Bush Begins Seeking Approval Of Other Nations

12/11/2006 - Hero Man Dials 911

12/11/2006 - Cheney's Lesbian Daughter Pregnant

12/10/2006 - Wheelchair-Bound Student Would Have Preferred To Sit Out Pep Rally

12/9/2006 - Marine Never Knew What Freedom Was Until He Left The Marines

12/8/2006 - Egyptian Conservationists Fight To Protect Dwindling Mummy Population

12/8/2006 - Jen And Vince Split

12/8/2006 - Malaysian Siblings Angrily Divide Bedroom Into Twelfths

12/8/2006 - "I'm Totally Broke"

12/8/2006 - Groom Getting Cold Feet About Bachelor Party

12/7/2006 - This Year In Sports

12/7/2006 - E. Coli At Taco Bell

12/7/2006 - Jesus Answers Half The Prayers At Roulette Table

12/7/2006 - Tiger Woods Adopts Son To Compete In PGA's Del Webb Father/Son Challenge

12/7/2006 - On German Jurgen Klinsmann, The 1990 World Cup Champion, Being Hired To Coach Team USA

12/7/2006 - Lions Claim They Spoiled Patriots' Season

12/7/2006 - BCS Determines No Team Worthy Of Facing Ohio State In Championship Game

12/7/2006 - Healthy Grant Hill Schedules Season-Ending Surgery

12/7/2006 - College Bowl Game Gifts

12/7/2006 - Barry Bonds Quietly Retires From Baseball

12/7/2006 - Martin Gramatica Celebrates Game-Winning Field Goal With Self-Immolation

12/7/2006 - Previously Unknown Prejudice Against Japanese Surfaces During Game Of Battleship

12/6/2006 - Bolton Steps Down

12/6/2006 - Babysitter Swaps Dead Child With Similar Child Before Parents Get Home

12/6/2006 - Report: Recent Wednesday Felt Like Thursday

12/6/2006 - Who's Sponsoring Us?

12/6/2006 - Your Horoscope

12/6/2006 - Philip Morris: 'Please Talk To Your Cooler Children About Cigarettes'

12/6/2006 - Editorial Cartoon - December 6, 2006

12/6/2006 - Rebels Immediately Regret Seizing Power In Zambia

12/6/2006 - Iraq War Recommendations

12/5/2006 - Taxing Virtual Assets

12/5/2006 - Holiday Advertisers Seek Coveted Dicktard Demographic

12/5/2006 - Airline Industry

12/5/2006 - Well-Aimed Bunker-Buster Prevents Doomed Afghanistan Marriage

12/5/2006 - Area Man Accidentally Responds To Own 'M4M' Ad

12/5/2006 - Today's Audiences Just Don't Get Me

12/5/2006 - I'm Gonna Get Me A Wii If It Kills Me

12/5/2006 - Rookie Told To Ease Up On Crime-Scene Tape

12/5/2006 - Panasonic Introduces Portable 500-Disc Changer To Compete Against iPod

12/4/2006 - No iPods To Kim Jong Il

12/4/2006 - Nancy Pelosi Wants Congress To Want To Pass Bill

12/4/2006 - Vatican Employees Unable To Relax At Holiday Party With Pope Around

12/3/2006 - Affable Anti-Semite Thinks Jews Are Doing Super Job With The Media

12/2/2006 - New Low-Calorie Sheep Bred To Combat Wolf Obesity

12/1/2006 - Brash Young Floor Trader Trying To Rally Dow All By Self

12/1/2006 - U.S. Struggling To Raise, Support Its 58.3 Million Kids

12/1/2006 - D.O.J. Investigates Self

12/1/2006 - Overpopulation Concerns Force U.S. To Reopen South Dakota

12/1/2006 - 20 Terrorists Under 20