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2006 September
9/30/2006 - Palestine Appoints New Minister Of Rubble And Urban Development
9/29/2006 - I'm All Out Of Life-Changing Epiphanies
9/29/2006 - New Air-Travel Guidelines
9/29/2006 - Cash-Strapped Suicide Hotline Lets Curious Listen In For $1.99 A Minute
9/29/2006 - Native Bostonians Unable To Defend Land From Invading College Students
9/29/2006 - Senate Wins Fight To Lower Allowable Amperage Levels On Detainees' Testicles
9/28/2006 - Small Businessman Conducts Business On Miniature Golf Course
9/28/2006 - On Matt Leinart Replacing Kurt Warner As Cardinals' Quarterback
9/28/2006 - Crazy Uncle Makes Good Point About Bitch Aunt
9/28/2006 - Bud Selig Nervously Informs Ozzie Guillen That White Sox Aren't Making Playoffs
9/28/2006 - 2006 Ryder Cup Highlights
9/28/2006 - Trevor Hoffman: 'I Want To Be A Hall Of Famer Right Now'
9/28/2006 - Frank Thomas Credits Recent Power Surge To Steroids
9/28/2006 - Uwe Boll Boxes Critics
9/28/2006 - Jaws Of Death Used To Stuff Woman Into Burning Car
9/28/2006 - Seahawks Asked To Stop Piping Screams Of Terrified Women Into Qwest Field
9/28/2006 - Doctors: Terrell Owens Still A Threat To Go All The Way At Any Time
9/28/2006 - Overjoyed Saints Fans Tear Roof Off Reopened Superdome
9/28/2006 - Entire 49ers Offense Injured On Single Play
9/27/2006 - Nation Sickened By Sight Of Happy Young Couple
9/27/2006 - Opposition To John Bolton
9/27/2006 - 'The Scream' Returns From Two-Year Vacation Relaxed
9/27/2006 - Top Remodeling Shortcuts
9/27/2006 - Foster Parents Adopt Superior Attitude
9/27/2006 - More TVs Than People
9/27/2006 - A Career In Business Isn't For Every Gender
9/27/2006 - New Job Posting On Craigslist Clearly For Secretary Of The Interior
9/27/2006 - My Bloodline Would Mix Well With That Of An Advanced Reptilian Race
9/27/2006 - Rich Thrill-Seeker Takes The Bus
9/27/2006 - Your Horoscope
9/26/2006 - Senatorial Candidate Challenges Opponent To Drop Out Of Race
9/26/2006 - War Makes U.S. Less Safe
9/26/2006 - Report: Iranian Science Teachers May Be Enriching Students
9/25/2006 - $2 Billion Environment Pledge
9/25/2006 - Struggling Blockbuster Eliminates Rental Fees
9/25/2006 - Optimist's Coffin Half Full
9/25/2006 - Beekeeper Slowly Becoming Bee Hoarder
9/24/2006 - Police On Lookout For Poorly Drawn Man
9/23/2006 - Corporation Reaches Goal, Shuts Down
9/22/2006 - Autumn: Could It Kill Us All?
9/22/2006 - TBS Once Again Leads All Networks In Leslie Nielsen Ratings
9/22/2006 - Bloodless Thai Coup
9/22/2006 - Crack Dealer Only Tenant Landlord Can Depend On For Rent
9/22/2006 - North Korea Tests Out Short-Range Missiles On Friends And Family First
9/21/2006 - Carbon-Monoxide Detector With Snooze Button Recalled
9/21/2006 - Pectoral Muscles Targeted By Fitness Fundamentalists
9/21/2006 - Maurice Clarett Shows Up Late For Prison Camp
9/21/2006 - NASCAR Cup Contenders
9/21/2006 - On The New
Monday Night Football
Announcing Team:
9/21/2006 - Alfonso Soriano Regrets Joining 40-40 Club After Meeting Other Members
9/21/2006 - Koren Robinson Promises His Next Drunk-Driving Incident Will Outdo Steve Foley's
9/21/2006 - Roger Clemens Evidently Pretending To Pitch For New York Yankees
9/21/2006 - Reggie Bush Claims He Made $100,000 Through USC Work-Study Program
9/21/2006 - Two-Week Bender Just Flies By
9/21/2006 - Willie Nelson Busted For Pot
9/21/2006 - Manny Being Manny During Massachusetts State Driver's License Photo
9/20/2006 - Terror Plot Foiled By Pure Luck
9/20/2006 - Pope Apologizes To Muslims
9/20/2006 - My Grief Has Taken The Form Of Go-Karting
9/20/2006 - I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, And I'll Fuck My Way Out
9/20/2006 - Where Are We Having Brunch?
9/20/2006 - Super Priest Can Turn Anything Into Body, Blood Of Christ
9/20/2006 - Your Horoscope
9/20/2006 - Massive Tag Body Spray Slick Spreading From Jersey Shore
9/20/2006 - Home Sales Dropping
9/20/2006 - Two-Thirds Of High- School Marching Band Just Pretending To Play
9/19/2006 - 2nd Autopsy For Anna Nicole's Son
9/19/2006 - Mister Rogers' Neighborhood Gerrymandered To Serve King Friday's Make-Believe Agenda
9/19/2006 - Area Showoff Sets Sights On Hula-Hoop
9/19/2006 - New Bill Would Defend Marriage From Sharks
9/18/2006 - Child Of Polygamists Receives Fourth Sex Talk
9/18/2006 - Man Psyches Self Out During Selection Of Ice-Cream Flavor
9/18/2006 - Horse Meat Banned
9/18/2006 - Uninvited Guest Rapper Ruins Album
9/17/2006 - Report: Poor People Pretty Much Screwed
9/16/2006 - Chicago Out Of Names For Subdivisions
9/15/2006 - Raging Alcoholic Will Get Liver Stapled
9/15/2006 - America's 50 Poorest People
9/15/2006 - Author Too Much Of A Pussy To Kill Off Characters
9/15/2006 - Senile Mother A Broken Novelty Record
9/15/2006 - Care For 9/11 Illness
9/14/2006 - Work Up, Pay Down
9/14/2006 - Florida State University To Phase Out Academic Operations By 2010
9/14/2006 - Local Pool-Club Record-Holder Upset To Hear Michael Phelps Just Joined
9/14/2006 - Cal Ripken Jr. Moves Into 8 Billionth Place On Consecutive-Games-Not-Played List
9/14/2006 - On The Opening Of The NFL Season
9/14/2006 - Memorable MLB Late-Season Collapses
9/14/2006 - LeBron James Amazed At 21-Year-Old's Ability To Stay Up All Night Studying For Physics Exam
9/14/2006 - Spinning Bow Tie Costs Rick Moranis Celebrity Poker Tournament
9/14/2006 - Jimmy Buffett Pays For Own Drink For First Time In 17 Years
9/14/2006 - Charlie Sheen Wants To Finish Career As A Cleveland Indian
9/13/2006 - Sexy Lyrics, Sexual Teens
9/13/2006 - Republicans Could Lose Control Of Majority Bathroom Privileges
9/13/2006 - White-Collar Prison Is A Great Networking Opportunity
9/13/2006 - New Anti-Terrorism Strategy
9/13/2006 - Where Does It Hurt?
9/13/2006 - I Have A Thing For Asia
9/13/2006 - Your Horoscope
9/13/2006 - Sweat-Stain-Dating Technology Unlocks Age Of Assistant Managers
9/13/2006 - Report: Majority Of Americans Unprepared For Apocalypse
9/12/2006 - Scientists Warn: Autumn Will Kill Us All
9/12/2006 - Picture Of Lemur Printed For No Goddamned Reason
9/12/2006 - Meredith Vieira’s
Today
Show Debut Marked By Uncomfortable Hour-Long Silence
9/12/2006 - Andre Agassi: 'I Can No Longer Walk'
9/12/2006 - Cigarettes Have More Nicotine
9/12/2006 - Hero Firefighter Loses Lifelong Battle With Fire
9/12/2006 - Ghostwriter Taking A Few Creative Liberties With Paul Reiser's Life
9/12/2006 - More Deadbeat Granddads Failing To Make Birthday Payments
9/11/2006 - NYC Unveils 9/11 Memorial Hole
9/11/2006 - New Oil Field Discovered
9/11/2006 - Quiet Guy Mistaken For Nice Guy
9/9/2006 - Donut Shop's Mission-Statement Awfully Ambitious
9/8/2006 - Where Da Girls At?
9/8/2006 - Australia's 'The Stingray Hunter' Says 'It Should Have Been Me'
9/8/2006 - CNN's Chilling 9/11 Tribute
9/8/2006 - Bartender Developing A Remarkable Tolerance For Alcoholics
9/7/2006 - Summer Intern Already Forgotten
9/7/2006 - Sept. 6, 1997
9/7/2006 - On Who You Believe Is Baseball's Most Overrated Player
9/7/2006 - A-Rod's Career Highlights
9/7/2006 - Post-Game Comments Reveal A-Rod Unsure Whether Yankees Won Or Lost
9/7/2006 - A-Rod Has Some Creative Input On Baseball-Card Photo
9/7/2006 - Bush: 'History Cannot Judge Me If I End It Soon'
9/7/2006 - The Media: Are They Ganging Up On A-Rod?
9/7/2006 - A-Rod: 'I Hate Being A New York Yankee'
9/7/2006 - Alex Rodriguez Placed On Emotionally Disabled List
9/7/2006 - Yankee Fans Lure A-Rod Out Of Dugout With Curtain Call In Order To Boo Him
9/7/2006 - Word-Of-The-Day Worked Into A Beating
9/7/2006 - Immigration Rallies Smaller
9/6/2006 - U.S. Planes Kill Canadian
9/6/2006 - What Will We Think Of Next?
9/6/2006 - Airport Security Oversights
9/6/2006 - Any Idiot Could Have Come Up With The Car
9/6/2006 - When I Die, Scatter My Ashes On A Naked Lady
9/6/2006 - Video-Game Character Feeling Healthier After Eating Turkey Leg Off Ground
9/6/2006 - Cubans: New Dictator Doing It All Wrong
9/6/2006 - Your Horoscope
9/6/2006 - Rolling Stones Kick Off 'Sing Our Songs For Us' Tour
9/5/2006 - Caltech Physicists Successfully Split The Bill
9/5/2006 - Rob Schneider Lands Role Originally Written For Chimp
9/5/2006 - Jerry Lewis Telethon Loses Record Thirty Million Dollars
9/5/2006 - Crocodile Hunter Dead At 44
9/4/2006 - Long-Winded Serial Killer Runs Out Of Forehead Space Again
9/4/2006 - Area Dad Suspicious Of Car Parked Across Street
9/4/2006 - Video Games To Have Ads
9/4/2006 - Grapes 'Big Hit' At Area Picnic
9/3/2006 - American People Shrug, Line Up For Fingerprinting
9/2/2006 - Previously Treasured
Spawn
Poster Used As Dustpan
9/1/2006 - Make-A-Wish Recipient Now Wishes Macho Man Randy Savage Would Go Away
9/1/2006 - This Genocide Isn't All That Bad
9/1/2006 - Nebraska State Trooper In Klan
9/1/2006 - Stripper Does Adequate Job