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2008 April
4/30/2008 - Astronauts Suffer Agonizing, High-Pitched Death After Helium Leak
4/30/2008 - Grand Theft Auto IV Hits Stores
4/30/2008 - Rowdy Teens Take Over Local Perkins
4/30/2008 - I Won't Ever Let The Position Of County Surveyor Go To My Head
4/30/2008 - I Couldn't Help But Notice Your Product Hasn't Been Endorsed By Anyone Yet
4/30/2008 - Naughty Butcher Specializes In Penis-Shaped Veal Cutlet
4/30/2008 - What Are We Using As Collateral?
4/30/2008 - Dean: One Candidate Must Quit
4/30/2008 - Man In Inner Tube Completes First Lazy Transatlantic Journey
4/29/2008 - NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL Team
4/29/2008 - Your Horoscope
4/29/2008 - 12 Shirtless Firemen Save Woman From Year Of Loneliness
4/29/2008 - Price Clubs Restricting Rice Sales
4/29/2008 - Gears Of War Crimes Court Finds 2006 Locust Horde Massacre Justified
4/29/2008 - Area Kindergartner Tackles The Shit Out Of Dream Girl
4/28/2008 - Man Use Big Word
4/28/2008 - Researchers Discover Massive Asshole In Blogosphere
4/28/2008 - Editorial Cartoon - April 28, 2008
4/28/2008 - Diet Could Affect Gender
4/28/2008 - Atlantic City Cocktail Waitress Crowned In Mistress USA Pageant
4/27/2008 - Boilermakers Protest Purdue's Mascot
4/26/2008 - Nation's Last Themeless Restaurant Closes
4/26/2008 - Badly Injured Man Not Done Partying Yet
4/25/2008 - More Marijuana
4/25/2008 - A Statement Followed By A Question Separated By A Colon
4/25/2008 - Entire Coffee Cake Consumed Over Trash Can
4/25/2008 - Snow Moves To CNN
4/25/2008 - Commas, Turning Up, Everywhere
4/25/2008 - NASA Intern Hoping To Go On Space Walk Before He Leaves In June
4/24/2008 - Young, Professional People French-Kissing
4/24/2008 -
Family Feud
Pollster Tired Of Asking Strangers To Name A Fruit Typically Served With Breakfast
4/24/2008 - Gilbert Arenas Claims He Can Play Despite Sore Ankle Part Of Arm
4/24/2008 - Andy Pettitte On Recent Win: 'Now That's What I Call Throwing A Pettitte'
4/24/2008 - On The Presidential Candidates Appearing On WWE
Monday Night RAW
:
4/24/2008 - Sam Cassell Seen Playing For Rockets, Suns, Celtics
4/24/2008 - Jake Long
4/24/2008 - George Steinbrenner Tells Sons To Mellow Out
4/24/2008 - Isiah Thomas: 'My Time With The Knicks Was Actually A Large-Scale Psychological Study Of New York Residents'
4/24/2008 - Female Firsts In Sports
4/24/2008 - Excited Dallas Stars Hear
Dallas Morning News
Reporter May Be At Next Game
4/24/2008 - Army Engineer Passed Nuclear Secrets
4/24/2008 - Convicted Forger Freed By Presidential Pardon
4/24/2008 - Mel Kiper Wakes In Middle Of Night Thinking He Missed NFL Draft
4/23/2008 - Campus Security Measures Increased
4/23/2008 - What's Our Secret Love?
4/23/2008 - Hanna Montana's Secret Identity Revealed!
4/23/2008 - Amtrak's New Lady Train Debuts
4/23/2008 - Sims Sales Top 100 Million
4/23/2008 - Elderly Woman Applying Makeup Most Heartbreaking Thing On Earth
4/23/2008 - Rubber Band Needed
4/23/2008 - Listen, Can You Do Me A Favor And Join The Army?
4/22/2008 - Pope Delivers Yankee Mass
4/22/2008 - Your Horoscope
4/22/2008 - Botanists Vow Not To Discuss Botany During After-Work Drinks
4/22/2008 - Dead Deer By Side Of Road Covered In Graffiti
4/22/2008 - Congress Overrun By Wolves
4/21/2008 - Study: Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night
4/21/2008 - Passover Seder Half-Assed
4/21/2008 - Editorial Cartoon - April 21, 2008
4/21/2008 - Financial Analysts Offer To Talk About Recession For $5
4/21/2008 - New Chemical Weapon 'Ennui Gas' Induces Listlessness, Dissatisfaction With Life
4/21/2008 - Poll: McCain Getting Even
4/20/2008 - Kim Jong Il Unfolds Into Giant Robot
4/19/2008 - Son-Of-A-Bitch Mouse Solves Maze Researchers Spent Months Building
4/19/2008 - Plan 'L' Switched To
4/18/2008 - Author Tom DeLillo
4/18/2008 - Plastics May Emit Toxins
4/18/2008 - Vacationing Teen Introduces Wilco To West Indies
4/18/2008 - Nation Agrees Not To Talk About Politics
4/18/2008 - Chuck Berry Remembers Call From Cousin About White Kid Playing 'Johnny B. Goode'
4/17/2008 - Samantha Who?
4/17/2008 - Chinese Class Clown Executed
4/17/2008 - FCC Fines Electronics Retailers
4/17/2008 - Pau Gasol, Tony Parker Share Special Moment During Pick
4/17/2008 - Chris Long
4/17/2008 - Jim Leyland To Tigers: 'Do I Have To Get Naked And Yell Some Sense Into You?'
4/17/2008 - Yankees Bury Bernie Williams Under New Stadium For Good Luck
4/17/2008 - Tiger Woods Irritated He Bought Additional Coat Hanger
4/17/2008 - Jackie Robinson Honored With Trivia Question
4/17/2008 - Player's Career Arc Exactly Mirrors Second Verse Of Steve Miller's 'Rock 'N Me'
4/17/2008 - On Herschel Walker Announcing He Has Multiple Personality Disorder:
4/17/2008 - Speedo's New High-Tech Swimsuit
4/17/2008 - Legendary Trainer Accidentally Grooms Young Boxer To Be Racing Horse
4/17/2008 - Panicked Diver Forgets Everything Except Capital Of Delaware
4/16/2008 - Congress Debates Merits Of New Catchphrase
4/16/2008 - Area Man Honored To Have Name In Hat
4/16/2008 - Obama Dogged By 'Bitter' Remarks
4/16/2008 - That Professor Lasky From
Saved By The Bell: The College Years
Was A Real Jerk
4/16/2008 - Shark!
4/16/2008 - Florida Legalizes Taking Guns To Work
4/16/2008 - Giant Greenhouse Built Over Nation Blamed For Climate Change
4/16/2008 - Who Are We Running From?
4/15/2008 - Oprah Launches Own Reality
4/15/2008 - If There's A Ferret Heaven, Area Woman's Dead Ferret Is In it
4/15/2008 - Your Horoscope
4/15/2008 - One in Five Scientists Use Brain Enhancing Drugs
4/15/2008 - Mass E-Mail Only Has Four Recipients
4/15/2008 - Hypothetical Multi-Ethnic Customer Base Smiles Down From HMO Billboard
4/15/2008 - Marijuana
4/14/2008 - Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film
4/14/2008 - Bed Found In Fundamentalist Temple
4/14/2008 - Travel Troubles
4/14/2008 - Guys Night Out To Feature Several Key Non-Guys
4/14/2008 - Gay Guy's Gay Thing Well Attended
4/14/2008 - Editorial Cartoon - April 14, 2008
4/14/2008 - Southwest Airlines Now Taking Passengers To Destinations By Shuttle Bus
4/13/2008 - Man From Last Week Smacked Into Present Day
4/12/2008 - New Colored Light Added To Traffic Signals
4/12/2008 - Grandfathers Accidentally Switched At Hospital
4/11/2008 - Sabra Hummus: Cedar's Hummus Lacks Experience Necessary To Become America's No. 1 Hummus
4/11/2008 - Beer Production Threatened By Climate Change
4/11/2008 - Gypsy Curse Lifted From Montana
4/11/2008 - Meet The Polish Selena
4/11/2008 - Area Man Makes It Through Day
4/10/2008 - 100 Most Preposterous TV Moments
4/10/2008 - Congress Wondering What Happened With That Whole Roger Clemens Thing
4/10/2008 - San Francisco Giants Band Together To Score Run
4/10/2008 - Committee Of College Basketball Nets: 'Please Stop Cutting Us'
4/10/2008 - Matt Ryan
4/10/2008 - Homeland Security Waives Environmental Law
4/10/2008 - $46,000 Vacuumed Out Of White House Couch
4/10/2008 - Jason Giambi Day-To-Day With Sore Groin, If You Know What He Means
4/10/2008 - Sepia-Toned Player Being Called The Next DiMaggio
4/10/2008 - Goalie Clearly Living In Net
4/10/2008 - Olympic Torch Relay Difficulties
4/10/2008 - On The Detroit Tigers' Slow Start:
4/10/2008 - Tim Duncan Offers To Do Taxes For Entire Spurs Team
4/10/2008 - Judge Awards Heather Mills Writing Credit On 'Eleanor Rigby'
4/9/2008 - Suspicious Package Industry Falls On Hard Times
4/9/2008 - Iraq War Memorial Planners Forced To Revise Length Again
4/9/2008 - Clintons Made $109 Million
4/9/2008 - If It's Any Consolation, I Am Going To Shoot Myself After I Kill All Of You
4/9/2008 - What Are We Encouraging In Our Children?
4/9/2008 - Businessman Takes Power Bath
4/9/2008 - Cheney Re-Grows Limb In Front Of Shocked Advisers
4/9/2008 - Group Blasts Pork-Barrel Spending
4/9/2008 - I Can't Imagine Why Anybody Would Want To Stop Crying
4/8/2008 - Iraq War: 5 Years Later
4/8/2008 - Your Horoscope
4/8/2008 - Hostage Taken Out For Night On The Town
4/8/2008 - Report: 84% Of Americans Currently Contestants
4/8/2008 - Charlton Heston Dies
4/7/2008 - Plight Of Missing Hikers Will Make Great Movie
4/7/2008 - Charlton Heston's Gun Taken From His Cold, Dead Hands
4/7/2008 - Olympic Torch Used To Ignite Tibetan Protesters
4/7/2008 - Apple Tops Wal-Mart In Music Sales
4/7/2008 - Pope Condemns College Of Cardinals For Host-Flicking
4/7/2008 - Mead Releases New Grad-School-Ruled Notebook
4/7/2008 - The Monster In Our Midst
4/6/2008 - Naked Man Mingles Freely In Locker Room
4/5/2008 - BP Opens Multi-Floor, 1,000-Pump Flagship Gas Station In Times Square
4/5/2008 - Suicide Hotline Operator Talking To Ex-Boyfriend Again
4/5/2008 - New Texas-Style Yogurt To Feed Man-Size Hunger For Yogurt
4/5/2008 - More Innovative Products
4/4/2008 - FDA Approves Napalm Breast Implants
4/4/2008 - Bernanke Says Recession Possible
4/4/2008 - Something Important: Are We Forgetting To Do It Right Now?
4/4/2008 - Comedian Jim Breuer At College Party For Some Reason
4/4/2008 - Computer Being Stupid
4/3/2008 - Weiland Out Of Velvet Revolver
4/3/2008 - Jose Canseco Composes Opera About Steroids
4/3/2008 - Yankees at Red Sox
4/3/2008 - New Personal MRIs Allow Paparazzi To Scan Celebrity Organs
4/3/2008 - Memphis Players Have Long, Complicated Explanation Of How They Are This Year's 'Rumpelstiltzkin' Story
4/3/2008 - Knicks Fast Break Takes Two-And-A-Half Minutes
4/3/2008 - Dwight Howard Teaches Children At Library To Shoot Books Into Garbage Can
4/3/2008 - On All The No. 1 Seeds Making It To The Final Four:
4/3/2008 - Friends Tell El Duque He Shouldn't Have To Change Windup For Mets To Like Him
4/3/2008 - MLB To Have Four More Opening Days This Season
4/3/2008 - C.C. Sabathia's Paunch Undulates Hypnotically In Cool Spring Breeze
4/3/2008 - Good Cop, Avid-Stamp-Collector Cop Routine Not Working
4/3/2008 - Smoove Is Waiting
4/3/2008 - Crowd-Related Disasters
4/2/2008 - Hungry FDA Official Orders Massive Pot Pie Recall
4/2/2008 - Stop Making Movies About My Books
4/2/2008 - Wacky Morning Zoo Crew DJ Threatened By Younger, Wackier Morning Zoo Crew DJ
4/2/2008 - Farmers Planting Less Corn
4/2/2008 - Hillary Receives 3 a.m. Phone Call From Drunken Bill Clinton
4/2/2008 - Blood...Blood Everywhere
4/2/2008 - Why Are We Leaving The Party?
4/2/2008 - Celebrity Drug Busts
4/1/2008 - Your Horoscope
4/1/2008 - Novelty Pencil Worn Down To The Nub
4/1/2008 - Search For 'Kick-Ass Shelves' Continues
4/1/2008 - Al-Qaeda Recruiting Western-Looking Operatives
4/1/2008 - New U.S. Smiley-Face Dollar To Boost Economy