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2009 November
11/30/2009 - Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP
11/30/2009 - Parking Garage Surveillance Camera
11/30/2009 - Nation's Poor Bastards Never Even Saw It Coming
11/30/2009 - Placekicker Using Practice To Work On Placekicking
11/30/2009 - Cameron Distributing Darwin
11/30/2009 - Man Signs Up For PumpkinZonia.com, Seeing As There's Free Prismatic Pumpkin Points In It
11/29/2009 - Russia Finds Missing St. Petersburg
11/29/2009 - Congressional Soup
11/28/2009 - Tim Duncan Calls Out Geometric Angle Needed To Make Bank Shot
11/28/2009 - Coroner Excited For First Asian
11/27/2009 - Does Anyone Still Have A Copy Of Last Month's Issue? We Need To Look Something Up.
11/27/2009 - Area Dad Talking About Pete Maravich Again
11/27/2009 - Prima Donna Surgeon Storms Out Of Half-Full Operating Theater
11/27/2009 - Drug Found To Boost Female Libido
11/27/2009 - Gunman Thought Coworkers Would Be Back From Lunch By Now
11/26/2009 - 9 Drawn And Quartered At Renaissance Fair
11/26/2009 - Everyone In Huddle Afraid To Tell Aaron Rodgers About Turf Stuck In Teeth
11/26/2009 - The Money We Waste On NASA's Space Program Would Be Better Spent On Space Programs For The Poor
11/26/2009 - Man Who Enjoys Popular Rock Songs Discovers Perfect Radio Station
11/26/2009 - Thanksgiving Today
11/26/2009 - Jim Brown
11/26/2009 - Thanksgiving Football Highlights
11/26/2009 - On What We're Thankful For In Sports:
11/26/2009 - Kevin Garnett Out 3-4 Months With Pounded Chest
11/26/2009 - Pittsburgh School District Leads Nation In Ability To Spell 'Roethlisberger'
11/25/2009 - Biden Pardons Single Yam In Vice Presidential Thanksgiving Ritual
11/25/2009 - 90210
11/25/2009 - Who Are We Inviting To Thanksgiving?
11/25/2009 - 'Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2' Breaking Sales Records
11/25/2009 - Nation To Be Sterilized From 1 P.M. To 4 P.M. This Friday
11/25/2009 - 'Old Dogs' Opens Today
11/25/2009 - Grandma Concerned About Dinner Roll Count
11/24/2009 - Miracle Powder Turns Water Into Delicious Fruity Drink
11/24/2009 - Like Hell I'm Going To Let Some Black President Help Me Pay For Dialysis
11/24/2009 - Nets Announce Team Is In Re-Demolition Mode
11/24/2009 - Shakira Just Not Feeling Up To Jiggling Ass Today
11/24/2009 - Boarding School Student Receives Wet William
11/24/2009 - Oprah To End Her Talk Show
11/24/2009 - Department Of Needing Transportation: 'Anyone Heading To Tucson This Weekend?'
11/24/2009 - Your Horoscopes
11/23/2009 - Red Bull Playhouse
11/23/2009 - The Week In Review
11/23/2009 - Editorial Cartoon - November 23, 2009
11/23/2009 - Bengals' Uniforms No Longer Look Stupid Now That Team Is Good
11/23/2009 - 'The Office' Ends As Documentary Crew Gets All The Footage It Needs
11/23/2009 - Costco Nixes Coke Sales
11/23/2009 - New 'Noveller' Allows People To Post Novels They Write During Course Of Their Day
11/22/2009 - Celebrities Seize Africa
11/21/2009 - Check It Out: Deer
11/21/2009 - Several 2009 MLB Awards Clearly Thought Up On The Spot
11/21/2009 - Nation's Music Snobs Protest Predictable Use Of Metallica, Pantera To Torture Prisoners
11/20/2009 - Senator Byrd The Longest-Serving Lawmaker
11/20/2009 - LeBron James Encourages NBA To Stop Jumping In Honor Of Michael Jordan
11/20/2009 - Montessori School Of Dentistry Lets Students Discover Their Own Root Canal Procedures
11/20/2009 - Inside The Obama White House: Specifically The Air Conditioning Duct Near The West Wing
11/20/2009 - Retired Guy Working At A Hardware Store
11/19/2009 - Survey: Positive Things Better Than Negative Things
11/19/2009 - Eagles Settle For Field Goal After 260-Yard Drive
11/19/2009 - A Rampage On Hold
11/19/2009 - Heroin Addicts Pressure President To Stay Course In Afghanistan
11/19/2009 - This Would Be The Best Mental Hospital Ever If Elliott Gould Weren't Hiding In The Toilet
11/19/2009 - Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.
11/19/2009 - Norman Esiason Finally Outgrows Childish Nickname
11/19/2009 - Federal Government Wants Subway Safety Oversight
11/19/2009 - Brandon Jennings
11/19/2009 - On Titans Owner Bud Adams Being Fined For Flipping Off The Crowd:
11/19/2009 - Hubris In Sports
11/19/2009 - Patriots Lead Colts At Halftime
11/18/2009 - Who Do We Think We Are?
11/18/2009 - Middle East Small Talks To Focus On Getting Israel, Palestine To Discuss Weather
11/18/2009 - Scientists Replace Penile Tissue In Rabbits
11/18/2009 - Kathy Griffin: Same Old Shit
11/18/2009 - Obama Weighs Options In Afghanistan
11/17/2009 - Local Teen To Explore Own Body
11/17/2009 - December Named National Awareness Month
11/17/2009 - Billboard Seems Oddly Proud Sting Will Be Playing At Foxwoods Casino
11/17/2009 - Who Swoons Over 'New Moon'?
11/17/2009 - Mickey Mouse Noticeably Avoids A-Rod During Trip To Disney World
11/17/2009 - Report: Fiber Optics Not A Real Thing
11/17/2009 - Monsters Inside Me
11/17/2009 - Fed Bans Debit Overdraft Fees
11/17/2009 - Your Horoscopes
11/16/2009 - Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner
11/16/2009 - It's Me Or The Dog
11/16/2009 - Editorial Cartoon - November 16, 2009
11/16/2009 - Kansas City Fails To Pick Up Option On Royals
11/16/2009 - Greyhound Now Offering Direct Service From Kansas To L.A. Porn Director's Driveway
11/16/2009 - ABC Cancels 'Hank'
11/16/2009 - Nation's Fast Food Patrons No Longer Trusted To Dispense Own Ketchup
11/15/2009 - Pentagon Engineers Develop New Diplomacy Bomb
11/15/2009 - The Week In Review
11/15/2009 - Food vs. Man
11/14/2009 - Memphis Grizzlies Continue To Insist They Have 5 Players Better Than Allen Iverson
11/14/2009 - CNBC Cameraman Can’t Believe He’s Filming Another Blog Off A Computer Monitor
11/14/2009 - Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be
11/13/2009 - Lou Dobbs Leaves CNN
11/13/2009 - Saints Completely Satisfied With 8-0 Start
11/13/2009 - Man Raised By Wolves Worried He's Slowly Turning Into Father
11/13/2009 - AIDS: After Nearly 30 Years, It Still Looks Pretty Intense When Written In All Red And Set Against A Black Background
11/13/2009 - Report: Yankees Trademarked 'Yankees Suck' Chant In 1996
11/12/2009 - Beer Makes Carpet Grow
11/12/2009 - American Muslims To Fort Hood Shooter: 'Thanks A Lot, Asshole'
11/12/2009 - I'm So Blessed To Be Surrounded By People I Can Extort Money From
11/12/2009 - H.R. 2651 Fans Storm Senate Floor After Passage Of Bill
11/12/2009 - People Probably Affiliated With Hockey In Some Way Inducted In Hockey Hall Of Fame
11/12/2009 - Obama Visiting Asia
11/12/2009 - JaMarcus Russell
11/12/2009 - On Sammy Sosa's Strangely Lightening Skin:
11/12/2009 - 2009 Midseason NFL Highlights
11/12/2009 - U.S. Deports Lou Dobbs
11/12/2009 - Ahmad Bradshaw Still Had Pretty Good Weekend Despite Loss To Chargers
11/11/2009 - BREAKING: U.S. Deports Lou Dobbs
11/11/2009 - What's Worrying Our Parents?
11/11/2009 - Nicolas Cage Broke
11/11/2009 - Group Of Good-Looking People All Headed Toward Same Place
11/11/2009 - Pabst Up For Sale
11/11/2009 - Afghan Presidential Election A Celebration Of All Forms Of Government
11/10/2009 - Fire Hot
11/10/2009 - Congressman Boehner's Terror Alert Skin Set Back To Orange
11/10/2009 - Excuse Me, But I'll Be Handling The Gentleman's Discourse For The Rest Of The Evening
11/10/2009 - Tim Duncan Makes Citizen's Foul Call
11/10/2009 - Increasingly Horrified Man Listens To Self Explain What He Does For A Living
11/10/2009 - Cash For Clunkers Resulted In Trucks For Trucks
11/10/2009 - Your Horoscopes
11/10/2009 - The Week In Review
11/10/2009 - Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks
11/9/2009 - Let's Make A Baby
11/9/2009 - Oversensitive Quarterback Reads Too Much Into Defense
11/9/2009 - Poll: 100% Of Grandsons Talented
11/9/2009 - Berlin Wall Came Down 20 Years Ago
11/9/2009 - Alternate-Universe Sci-Fi Channel Show Asks What Would Happen If Germany Lost War
11/8/2009 - Elder Whisperer
11/7/2009 - Sexualized Octogenarian Flapper Girl Still Earning Living For Someone
11/7/2009 - Shaq, Cavaliers Start To Bond After Rollerblading Around Cleveland
11/7/2009 - College Freshman Makes Triumphant Return To High School
11/6/2009 - Scientists Dissect Coworker To Find Out More About Scientists
11/6/2009 - 95-Year-Old Yankees Fan Afraid He'll Never Get To See Team Win 27 More World Series
11/6/2009 - Just Area Man's Luck
11/6/2009 - Ohio Legalized Casinos
11/6/2009 - Entire Office Unsure What To Do About Bawling Coworker
11/6/2009 - Hannah Montana
11/5/2009 - Dept. Of Defense Locked Out Of Pentagon Again
11/5/2009 - Brett Favre Avenges Storied 16-Year Career With Packers
11/5/2009 - Ask The Online Reviews Of A New Tex-Mex Restaurant
11/5/2009 - Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus
11/5/2009 - 1999 Collaboration Between Carlos Santana, Rob Thomas Somehow Standing Test Of Time
11/5/2009 - 40,000 Revenge-Seeking Bats Descend Upon Manu Ginobili
11/5/2009 - Early-Season NBA Power Rankings
11/5/2009 - AT&T Claims Verizon Lied About Coverage
11/5/2009 - Derek Jeter
11/5/2009 - On Andre Agassi Admitting He Used Crystal Meth
11/5/2009 - New York Marathon Winner Tests Positive For Performance-Enhancing Horse
11/4/2009 - Heaven To Return 3.6 Billion Souls For Rejudging
11/4/2009 - Inside The Mind Of A Perfectly Sane Person
11/4/2009 - The Pizza Hut Legal Drama
11/4/2009 - What's On Our Accident Reports?
11/4/2009 - Defense Bill Features Less Waste
11/4/2009 - Barack Obama Names Alan Moore Official White House Biographer
11/4/2009 - First Female Tower Of London Guard Bullied
11/3/2009 - Coroner To Work From Home Today
11/3/2009 - Congress Approves $500 Billion For Monument To Human Folly
11/3/2009 - Pigeon Trying To Act Nonchalant About Fresh Vomit On Sidewalk
11/3/2009 - If I'm So Crazy, Then Why Do People Keep Having Sex With Me?
11/3/2009 - SEC Replay Official Overturns 'Roe v. Wade'
11/3/2009 - Cherokee Nation Makes Headlines As Fraction Of Actress's Bloodline
11/3/2009 - Karzai Rival Pulls Out Of Race
11/3/2009 - Your Horoscopes
11/3/2009 - The Presidency
11/2/2009 - Bucket Of Rags This Year's Must-Have Christmas Item
11/2/2009 - Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck
11/2/2009 - Trainwreck Academy
11/2/2009 - Mark McGwire To Teach Cardinal Hitters At What Point In Swing To Evade Congressional Questioning
11/2/2009 - Rude Guy Unfortunately Says Something Funny
11/2/2009 - Bill May Have Cost Hillary VP Slot
11/2/2009 - United Airlines Exploring Viability Of Stacking Them Like Cordwood
11/1/2009 - Overburdened Dept. Of Health And Human Services Cancels Flu Season
11/1/2009 - Elvira's Halloween Spooktacular
11/1/2009 - The Week In Review