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2011 July
7/31/2011 - Botanist Holding Up Entire Salad Bar
7/31/2011 - Area Man Got So Wasted And Abusive Last Night
7/31/2011 - No Way!
7/30/2011 - Out-Of-Control Conversation Safely Turned Back Onto Self
7/30/2011 - Racehorse Unaware It Just Cost Some Kid New Braces
7/30/2011 - How Are We Deterring Thieves?
7/30/2011 - Tim Wakefield Tries To Get Line Drive To Put Him Out Of Misery
7/30/2011 - Area Woman Excited To Finally Experience Unbearable Loneliness Of Having Her Own Place
7/29/2011 - Our Special Completely-Caught-Off-Guard-By-The-Lockout-Ending Issue
7/29/2011 - 2011 MLB Season Dominated By Pitchers, Hitters, Fielders
7/29/2011 - Critics: NBC's 'Playboy Club' Glamorizes Pornography
7/29/2011 - Breaking Down The New NFL Labor Agreement
7/29/2011 - On Cadel Evans Winning The Tour De France
7/29/2011 - Reader Comprehension Quiz - Week Of July 25, 2011
7/29/2011 - Amy Winehouse’s Grammys Returned By London Pawn Shop Out Of Respect For Deceased
7/29/2011 - Russ Cochran Survives Senior British Open
7/29/2011 - All Flights Grounded After FAA Officials Suddenly Realize That Man Was Not Meant To Fly
7/29/2011 - Nation Wants Some Fucking Football, Doesn’t Give Shit About Details Of Collective Bargaining Agreement
7/29/2011 - Taco Bell Employee Somehow Dressed Down By Manager
7/29/2011 - What's In The Box?
7/28/2011 - Nation's Climatologists Exhibiting Strange Behavior (Season 1: Ep 5 on IFC)
7/28/2011 - Al Qaeda infrastructure
7/28/2011 - Cruel Summer
7/28/2011 - Congressman Resigns Over “Unwanted” Sexual Incident
7/28/2011 - New Documentary Focuses On Life Of Eva Braun's Late Husband
7/28/2011 - Al-Qaeda Claims U.S. Mass Transportation Infrastructure Must Drastically Improve Before Any Terrorist Attacks
7/28/2011 - Abandoned Mall Retains Eerie Vestiges Of Fun Shopping Atmosphere
7/27/2011 - Bachmann Says Unexplained Blackouts From Which She Wakes Up Covered In Blood Won't Affect Ability To Lead
7/27/2011 - Emergency Team Of 8th-Grade Civics Teachers Dispatched To Washington
7/27/2011 - Big Drugs About To Go Generic
7/27/2011 - Twins Shocked To Learn You Can Score 2 Runs In Same Play
7/27/2011 - Nation Ready For Its Din Din
7/27/2011 - USSR Wins Space Race As U.S. Shuts Down Shuttle Program
7/27/2011 - Georgia Legislature Bans Indoor Spitting
7/27/2011 - Men Of An Uncertain Age
7/26/2011 - What Would You Do If You Saw A Mouse On An Airplane?
7/26/2011 - Mom And Dad, I'm Gay And Also Stronger Than Both Of You, So Don't Try Any Shit
7/26/2011 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of July 26, 2011
7/26/2011 - ABC Reannounces Cancellation Of ‘Mr. Sunshine’ Just To Destroy Matthew Perry A Little More
7/26/2011 - Shaq Prepares For New TNT Job By Doing Research On Talking
7/26/2011 - Co-Founder Of Mattel Dead
7/26/2011 - Area Man To Make Fun Of Dancing For A Bit Before Nervously Joining In
7/26/2011 - Social Security Reform Bill Encourages Americans To Live Faster, Die Younger
7/26/2011 - Former Marine Plans To Watch Lots Of TV
7/25/2011 - I Gotta Be A Roadie
7/25/2011 - Nation's Weirdest Teenager Buys Season One DVD Of 'Murphy Brown'
7/25/2011 - New Law Bans Cyclist Harassment
7/25/2011 - Rupert Murdoch Worried He Might Have Damaged Heretofore Perfect Reputation
7/25/2011 - Yankees Talking To Several Teams About Robinson Cano: ‘He’s Good And We’re Going To Keep Him’
7/25/2011 - Family Requests Privacy During This Unbelievably Awesome Time
7/25/2011 - Woman Feels Guilty After Switching Brands
7/25/2011 - Murdoch
7/25/2011 - Travel
7/24/2011 - Darren Clarke
7/24/2011 - Frame Guys
7/23/2011 - Man In Mickey Mouse Suit Obviously Attempted To Eat Ribs
7/23/2011 - Pirates Starting To Pay Attention To Themselves
7/23/2011 - Artists Announce They've Found All The Beauty They Can In Urban Decay
7/23/2011 - Last Male Heir To Bloodline Watches Movie Alone On Laptop
7/22/2011 - Sandwich From Television Commercial Spotted At Local Restaurant
7/22/2011 - Vladimir Guerrero Placed On Disabled List With Old
7/22/2011 - Least Used PowerPoint Transition Effects
7/22/2011 - Perry
7/22/2011 - Hobbies
7/22/2011 - Phil Mickelson Laughs Off 2nd-Place Finish, Blows Brains Out In Car
7/22/2011 - Reader Comprehension Quiz - Week Of July 18, 2011
7/22/2011 - Ruin The Economy Or Not? Congress Still Unable To Decide
7/22/2011 - Highlights Of Ben Roethlisberger’s Wedding
7/22/2011 - Kim Kardashian Suing Old Navy
7/22/2011 - Nation's School Systems Held Back A Year
7/22/2011 - Indiana Woman Puts Cool Whip Containers To Every Conceivable Use
7/22/2011 - Manager, Pitcher Go Through Entire Bottle Of Wine During Really Great Mound Visit
7/22/2011 - On The U.S. Women’s Soccer Team Losing
7/22/2011 - Tosh.0
7/21/2011 - Terrorism
7/21/2011 - Tensions Mount After North Korea Destroys All Of Asia
7/21/2011 - God Urges Rick Perry Not To Run For President
7/21/2011 - News Corp. Under Fire For Cell Phone Hacks
7/21/2011 - FBI Raids Homes In 'Anonymous' Sweep
7/21/2011 - Nation's Optometrists Finally Starting To Recover After Raucous Optic Disc Expo 2011
7/21/2011 - Necrophiliac's Release From Prison Seen As Threat To Area Corpses
7/20/2011 - Congress Continues Debate Over Whether Or Not Nation Should Be Economically Ruined
7/20/2011 - Should the nation be allowed to fall into economic ruin?
7/20/2011 - Budweiser Can Sports New Look
7/20/2011 - Phone Hack Whistleblower Found Dead
7/20/2011 - Tim Duncan Sends Teammates Google+ Invitations For Fifth Consecutive Day
7/20/2011 - Labor Dept. Creates 20,000 New Hobbies For Nation's Jobless
7/20/2011 - City Opens New Art Jail
7/20/2011 - Absentminded Professor Says Cure For Cancer 'Around Here Somewhere'
7/20/2011 - Follow That Dollar Bill
7/19/2011 - These Summer Movies Are Blockbusting My Wallet!
7/19/2011 - Girl You Could've Slept With Pretty Successful Now
7/19/2011 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of July 19, 2011
7/19/2011 - 'Sports' Wins 11th Consecutive ESPY For 'Best Thing'
7/19/2011 - Casey Anthony Released
7/19/2011 - 15-Year-Old Girl Viciously Torn Apart By Rabid Pack Of Peers
7/19/2011 - Should Adults Be Allowed To Bring Kids To R-Rated Movies Where We Masturbate?
7/19/2011 - Man From Last Week Smacked Into Present Day
7/18/2011 - Minnesota Bars Running Dry
7/18/2011 - Congress Spotted Leaving Gay Nightclub
7/18/2011 - U.S. Quietly Slips Out Of Afghanistan In Dead Of Night
7/18/2011 - Scratch Our Back...
7/17/2011 - Fourth-Grader’s World War II Project Vastly Oversimplifies Importance Of Air Combat, Uncle Reports
7/17/2011 - Can I Stand Here?
7/16/2011 - We Placed A Clean Sheet Of Glass Somewhere Across This Woman's Jogging Route
7/16/2011 - NFL Players, Owners Warn Lockout May Be Over In Time For Exhibition Games
7/16/2011 - Derek Jeter Relieved He Can Go Back To Not Hitting Ball
7/16/2011 - Drunk Pilot Going To Pull Over Onto Cloud Until He Sobers Up A Little
7/16/2011 - Sadly, Gift Certificate To Loews Cinemas Perfect Gift For Area Man
7/16/2011 - Little Clay Thing Bought At Arts Festival
7/15/2011 - On Derek Jeter’s 3,000th Hit
7/15/2011 - Hope Solo
7/15/2011 - How Are We Rekindling Our Romance?
7/15/2011 - Great Home Run Derby Moments
7/15/2011 - Brewers Grounds Crew Fills Up Stadium With Soapy Water For Prince Fielder's Bubble Bath
7/15/2011 - U.S. Women’s Soccer Team Better Not Fucking Blow It
7/15/2011 - Pope Supports Gay Marriage After Meeting Charming Connecticut Couple
7/15/2011 - Nation's Busiest Highway Closes For Weekend
7/15/2011 - Nation's Busiest Highway Closes For Weekend
7/15/2011 - Area Woman Always Has Backup Problem Just In Case
7/15/2011 - Security Guard Makes Passing Woman Feel Unsafe
7/15/2011 - Nation To Always Remember Yao Ming’s 22-Point, 8-Rebound Game Against Milwaukee
7/15/2011 - Reader Comprehension Quiz - Week Of July 11, 2011
7/15/2011 - The Rochester Way
7/15/2011 - Obama dance
7/14/2011 - Joe Biden Introduces Trio Of Sexy Bodyguards
7/14/2011 - Dumptruck
7/14/2011 - Pope
7/14/2011 - Last Shuttle Launched Into Space
7/14/2011 - 'Brady Bunch' Creator Dead At 94
7/14/2011 - Report: You Know You Are A Fucking Idiot, Right?
7/14/2011 - China Agrees To Erase Portion Of U.S. Debt If Americans Dress Up In Costumes And Perform Silly Dance For Them
7/14/2011 - German Auto Engineer Issued Lab Coat
7/14/2011 - Reader Comprehension Quiz - Special Terrorism Edition
7/14/2011 - Woman problem
7/13/2011 - The Next Day
7/13/2011 - Getting Everyone Together
7/13/2011 - The Vatican
7/13/2011 - New Antibiotic-Resistant Gonorrhea Strain Found
7/13/2011 - Obama Sort Of Freaked Out After Not Receiving Single E-Mail, Phone Call For Entire Day
7/13/2011 - Vatican Reverses Stance On Gay Marriage After Meeting Tony And Craig
7/13/2011 - Winter Olympic Event Guide: Snøkåathlaan, Part 2
7/13/2011 - Disney Family Vacation Ruined By Walt Disney Company
7/13/2011 - Breaking Bad
7/12/2011 - Nancy Grace Seen In Graveyard Sucking Marrow From Caylee Anthony's Bones
7/12/2011 - Yeah, Take It Off
7/12/2011 - U.S. Withdraws $800 Million In Pakistan Aid
7/12/2011 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of July 12, 2011
7/12/2011 - Nickname To Forever Prevent People From Getting To Know The Real Dumptruck
7/12/2011 - Baseball Fans Excited For All-Star Matchup Between Best Available Non-Injured Players Willing To Play In Game
7/12/2011 - Very Lenient Umpire Tells Base Runner Next Time He Gets Tagged He’s Out
7/12/2011 - After-Bar Activities
7/12/2011 - Millions Irrationally Feared Dead In Minor Train Accident
7/12/2011 - Banks Introduce 75-Cent Surcharge For Using Word 'Bank'
7/11/2011 - MetLife Hang Glider Providing Aerial Footage For This Year’s U.S. Open
7/11/2011 - Extremist Groups Flourish In Northwest U.S.
7/11/2011 - July 11, 2011
7/11/2011 - Cake Boss
7/11/2011 - Kevin Youkilis Puts Sign-Up Sheet For Threesome In Red Sox Dugout
7/11/2011 - Funk Congress
7/11/2011 - Twisted Sister
7/11/2011 - Miracle Baby Born With Job
7/11/2011 - Christ Returns For Some Of His Old Things
7/11/2011 - Reader Comprehension Quiz - Week Of July 4, 2011
7/11/2011 - New Study Shows People With Panic Disorders Respond Poorly To Being Locked In Underwater Elevators
7/11/2011 - Man Avoids Messing With Texas
7/8/2011 - Rod Stewart Easily Passes For An Elderly Aunt
7/8/2011 - No One Has Heart To Ask Human Beat Box To Stop
7/7/2011 - Nation Somehow Failed To Predict Attack By Michael Bay
7/6/2011 - Fucking 19-Year-Old Clerk At Fucking Musicland Has Never Even Heard Of Neil Fucking Young
7/5/2011 - Music Festival Tips
7/5/2011 - Atonal Composers Gather For Atony Awards
7/1/2011 - Reader Comprehension Quiz - Week Of June 27, 2011
7/1/2011 - Fish
7/1/2011 - Dick Armey
7/1/2011 - Texas Jury Awards Victim $9 Million In Barbecue