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2011 October
10/31/2011 - Guys Working
10/31/2011 - Local Man Ruins Date By Just Being Himself
10/31/2011 - Halloween
10/31/2011 - Brooke Alvarez Names The One Person Who Could Compel Her To Go On 'Dancing With The Stars'
10/31/2011 - Gelato
10/31/2011 - Population Reaches 7 Billion
10/31/2011 - New Facebook Feature Allows User To Cancel Account
10/31/2011 - Cocky Miami Dolphins Already Booking Hotel Rooms For Week 12 Game At Dallas
10/31/2011 - Remains Of Ancient Race Of Job Creators Found In Rust Belt
10/30/2011 - FAA To Ban Plane Crashes
10/30/2011 - Sun Dreading Rising Today
10/29/2011 - Joe Buck Walks In On Troy Aikman Covering NFL Game With Another Man
10/29/2011 - LASIK Surgery Allows Baron To See Without Monocle
10/29/2011 - Man's Utter Failure In Life A Bit Of A Sore Spot
10/28/2011 - Department Of Treasury Releases New Monsters Of The Silver Screen 20 Dollar Bill
10/28/2011 - Treasury Department Releases New 'Monsters Of The Silver Screen' $20 Bill
10/28/2011 - Lions Fans Excited To Be Booing Again
10/28/2011 - Classic Looks For 40-Something Women Married For The Second Time And Trying To Get Pregnant
10/28/2011 - Wal-Mart Shutters New York Fashion Presence
10/28/2011 - Greatest World Series Moments
10/28/2011 - Ray Lewis Releases Primal Scream After Successfully Transferring Money To Checking Account
10/28/2011 - Matt Forte
10/28/2011 - On The Supposed Rise Of Dirty Play In The NFL
10/28/2011 - Popular New DirecTV Package Offers Zero NHL Games
10/28/2011 - No One Has Heart To Ask Human Beat Box To Stop
10/27/2011 - Record Year For Abortion Restrictions
10/27/2011 - Tim Tebow Becomes First Bad Quarterback To Lead 4th Quarter Comeback
10/27/2011 - Tsunami Debris Approaching U.S.
10/27/2011 - U.S. To Offer Tax Incentives To Companies That Do Not Openly Make World Worse At Every Turn
10/27/2011 - Nation Finally Breaks Down And Begs Its Smart People To Just Fix Everything
10/27/2011 - Affable Anti-Semite Thinks Jews Are Doing Super Job With The Media
10/26/2011 - Hackers Shut Down January Jones
10/26/2011 - Study Finds Every Style Of Parenting Produces Disturbed, Miserable Adults
10/26/2011 - John Madden Agrees To Work As Consultant For Raiders Concession Stand
10/26/2011 - MTV's Occupy Wall Street
10/26/2011 - FDA Approves Putting Picture Of Trish On Cigarette Packs
10/26/2011 - Cage Match Settles Nothing
10/25/2011 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of October 25, 2011
10/25/2011 - Another U.S. Downgrade Looming
10/25/2011 - Something Sliding Around In Coffin
10/25/2011 - Paul Simon Wondering How One Goes About Getting A Column On 'The Huffington Post'
10/25/2011 - This Sure Is A Spooky Time For The Economy
10/25/2011 - Eli Manning Announces Second Down Is His Favorite Down
10/25/2011 - Brooke Alvarez Assures Us Romantics That True Love Does Exist
10/25/2011 - French Teacher Forces Student To Inform Her Of Bathroom Fire In French
10/24/2011 - Rick Perry Speech Electrifies 1,200 Scared, Miserable Racists
10/24/2011 - The Week In Pictures
10/24/2011 - "Big Sister" Is Watching
10/24/2011 - Andy Reid Asks Sean Payton If He Is Going To Eat His Torn MCL
10/24/2011 - Town Seeks To Criminalize Walking And Biking
10/24/2011 - How To Protect Your Children On Halloween, A.K.A. The Pedophiles' Christmas
10/24/2011 - Newly Deployed Soldier Has Dreamed Of Fighting In Afghan War Since He Was Little Kid
10/24/2011 - Mitt Romney's Goal To Connect With One Voter By The Time This Is All Over
10/24/2011 - Genetically Modified Shrieking Broccoli Toned Down
10/23/2011 - Republican Presidential Debate
10/22/2011 - Mother's Little Angel Just Made Fun Of Classmate's Weight For 30 Straight Minutes
10/22/2011 - Fox Launches 'We're Not Any Happier About This Than You Are' Campaign Promoting World Series
10/22/2011 - Former 'Munsters' Star Butch Patrick To Write Autobiography On Word Processor Bought At Yard Sale
10/21/2011 - Something Sliding Around In Coffin
10/21/2011 - On Theo Epstein Becoming General Manager Of The Cubs
10/21/2011 - Pop Goes the Wiesel
10/21/2011 - Sad, Pathetic Minnesota Fans Will Take A Win In Any Sport
10/21/2011 - Making IndyCar Racing Safer
10/21/2011 - What Are We Asking Our Employees For?
10/21/2011 - Lions, Tigers Killed In Ohio
10/21/2011 - Mom Can't Wait For Halloween Episode Of 'The Big Bang Theory'
10/21/2011 - Bears Somehow Proud Of Selves For Beating Vikings
10/21/2011 - ESPN: 'Dan Wheldon Would Have Wanted Somebody To Quickly Cash In On A Documentary About His Life'
10/21/2011 - Nation Gathers Around Radio Set To Listen To Big Ball Game
10/21/2011 - Some Dork Brought In To Address Civics Class Today
10/20/2011 - Qaddafi Killed
10/20/2011 - Soccer Star Diagnosed With Chronic MLS
10/20/2011 - New Dr Pepper Drink Aimed At Men
10/20/2011 - Report: 40,000 People Died On Ferris Wheels This Summer
10/20/2011 - Occupy Toronto
10/20/2011 - New Decoy Website Launched To Lure Away All Moronic Internet Commenters
10/20/2011 - Midwesterners Descend On Insurance Company's Free Nail Files
10/19/2011 - The Week In Pictures
10/19/2011 - Antiques Sideshow
10/19/2011 - Rangers vs. Cardinals
10/19/2011 - Comatose John Clarkson Drops Out Of GOP Race Due To Sex Scandal
10/19/2011 - California Doctors Endorse Marijuana Legalization
10/19/2011 - Cam Newton Leaves Panthers To Start Own Football Team
10/19/2011 - Management Determined To Find Out Who In Company Leaked Information That CEO Is Asshole
10/19/2011 - Federal Government To Reduce Madoff's Sentence If He Can Infiltrate U.S. Economy In 48 Hours And Turn It Around
10/19/2011 - New Co-Op Airline Offers Cheaper Fares If You Help Fly The Plane
10/18/2011 - Republican Coma Candidate Dominates GOP Debate
10/18/2011 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of October 18, 2011
10/18/2011 - Hollywood Announces Plan To Remake Jimmy Stewart
10/18/2011 - Climate Change Causing Smaller Animals
10/18/2011 - Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time
10/18/2011 - Man Unfortunately Sleeps Like Baby
10/18/2011 - Mom, I Want You To Meet The Girl Who Will One Day Make Me Put You In A Nursing Home
10/18/2011 - GOP Race Heats Up As Candidate In Coma More Appealing Than Rest of Field
10/18/2011 - Cleveland Browns Fan Beginning To Question His Future With Team
10/18/2011 - Nation's Dogs Dangerously Underpetted, Say Dogs
10/17/2011 - Dogtective
10/17/2011 - Man In Coma Enters GOP Race, Already Polling Ahead Of Romney
10/17/2011 - Steve Jobs
10/17/2011 - New Legislation Would Shut Down U.S. Education System, Give Each American Student $3,000 To Start Own Small Business
10/17/2011 - Cain's 9-9-9 Plan Would Cost Average Americans More
10/17/2011 - Citizens Of Winnipeg Realize They Hate Hockey Now
10/17/2011 - Leaf-Hunting Season Begins
10/17/2011 - Area Man Offered Cocaine By Man He Met At Urinal 90 Seconds Ago
10/16/2011 - Ryan Braun
10/16/2011 - Ryan Braun
10/16/2011 - Nation's Untalented Fast Wide Receivers Mourn Passing Of Only Employer
10/15/2011 - Report: All The Good Seashells Taken
10/14/2011 - Topeka Decriminalizes Domestic Violence
10/14/2011 - The Life And Times Of Al Davis
10/14/2011 - '85 Bears Visit To White House Marred By Former Players Tracking Dog Shit Everywhere
10/14/2011 - 'He's Dead' Nicest Thing Said About Al Davis
10/14/2011 - What Demographic Aren't We Hitting?
10/14/2011 - Hollywood Announces Plan To Remake Jimmy Stewart
10/14/2011 - Reader Comprehension Quiz - Week Of October 08, 2011
10/14/2011 - On Whether Hockey Can Replace The Locked-Out NBA
10/14/2011 - Handshake Comes In At Unusually High Angle, Velocity
10/14/2011 - Sight Of Matt Millen On TV Simply Too Much For Nation’s Unemployed To Handle
10/14/2011 - Goofy Guy Named Gary Enlivens Otherwise Intolerable Wedding Reception
10/13/2011 - The Demands Of Occupy Wall Street
10/13/2011 - Mario Williams Out For Season With Torn Tit
10/13/2011 - Christie Endorses Romney
10/13/2011 - Actor Sometimes Feels Silly Pretending To Be Someone Else
10/13/2011 - Day Job Officially Becomes Job
10/12/2011 - Nation Waiting For Protesters To Clearly Articulate Demands Before Ignoring Them
10/12/2011 - 'Joe The Plumber' Running For Congress
10/12/2011 - Obama Seeks Approval Of 'Occupy Wall Street' Protestors By Punching Banker In The Face
10/12/2011 - President's Approval Rating Soars After Punching Wall Street Banker in Face
10/12/2011 - End Of Last Meals For Death Row Inmates Could Decimate Texas Restaurant Industry
10/12/2011 - Lone Post On Jaguars Fan Message Board Requests Directions To Stadium
10/12/2011 - U.S. Back On Top As Gas Prices Drop Slightly
10/12/2011 - 6 Dead In West Point Panty Raid
10/11/2011 - Fans Of Victorious Nobel Laureates Riot In Stockholm
10/11/2011 - Saudi Women Receive Husbands' Explicit Permission To Celebrate Right To Vote
10/11/2011 - Texas Pastor Calls Mormonism Cult
10/11/2011 - Your Horoscopes - Week of October 11, 2011
10/11/2011 - Man Receives First Baboon-Face Transplant
10/11/2011 - The Ecstasy Of Defeat
10/11/2011 - I'm Moving This Miserable Periodical To The Yukon
10/11/2011 - Nation's Brothers-In-Law Know Exactly What They Want For Christmas
10/11/2011 - Brooke Alvarez Has A Chance to Ask Herself A Question
10/11/2011 - Report: Sorry No Longer Cutting It
10/10/2011 - George Harrison
10/10/2011 - Nestlé Creates Ad For Dogs
10/10/2011 - That Guy From That One Show In Rehab
10/10/2011 - Jets Offensive Line Signs Up For Continuing Education Class On Pass Blocking
10/10/2011 - New Bipartisan Law Would Make Dog Neckerchiefs Mandatory
10/10/2011 - Apple Announces Plans To Release Steve Jobs 2 (Full coverage Tues 10/9c only on IFC)
10/9/2011 - Detroit Unveils New Half-Ton, 400 Horsepower Motown Singer
10/9/2011 - New Study Finds Link Between Cancer, Reading Text On Computer Screen
10/9/2011 - Area Man Somehow Endures Harrowing Entertainment-Free Commute
10/9/2011 - Everybody Shocked Body Found In Woods Not Justin
10/8/2011 - Bowling Birthday Party Enters 5th Agonizing Hour
10/8/2011 - Al Davis Dies Alone Surrounded By Closest Friends
10/8/2011 - Nation's Sports Fans Demand To Spend $21.99 On Something
10/7/2011 - ESPN Stops SportsCenter Episode To Recognize Stuart Scott’s 500,000th 'Boo Ya'
10/7/2011 - Shaken Secretary Of Transportation Reduces Speed Limit To 5 MPH After Witnessing Accident
10/7/2011 - Reader Comprehension Quiz - Week Of October 01, 2011
10/7/2011 - NBC Cancels 'Playboy Club'
10/7/2011 - The Great Sports Books
10/7/2011 - Brutal Reality Check Turns Three
10/7/2011 - Last Bastion Of U.S. Economy Succumbs To Pancreatic Cancer
10/7/2011 - On The Eagles' 1-3 Start
10/7/2011 - Vikings Sticking With McNabb Because They Hate Him
10/7/2011 - Some Lady Weeping In Dairy Aisle
10/6/2011 - Apple User Acting Like His Dad Just Died
10/6/2011 - Alex Smith TD Pass Challenged On Grounds It Was Thrown By Alex Smith
10/6/2011 - Andy Rooney Stepping Down
10/6/2011 - Last American Who Knew What The Fuck He Was Doing Dies
10/6/2011 - Steve Jobs Dead
10/6/2011 - Nervous American Voters Worried About Botching Another Election
10/6/2011 - Local Father Fails To Forcibly Refold Map
10/5/2011 - Man Born With Face You Just Want To Punch
10/5/2011 - Obama Not Sure How To Handle Compliment
10/5/2011 - Koch Brothers Made Illegal Sales To Iran
10/5/2011 - Umpire Asks Catcher To Move Up A Little
10/5/2011 - ‘Layoffs Are Necessary If We Want To Keep The Lights On,’ Says CEO Halfway Through Tasting Menu
10/5/2011 - New Anger-Powered Cars May Revolutionize The Way We Drive
10/4/2011 - New NPR Head Comes From 'Sesame Street'
10/4/2011 - Apple: New iPhone Good
10/4/2011 - Your Horoscopes - Week of October 04, 2011
10/4/2011 - No Matter How Much You Protect Your Kids, Sooner Or Later One Of Them's Going To Drown In A Swimming Pool
10/4/2011 - Sports Fan Digs Deep, Finds Something To Complain About
10/4/2011 - Pep Talk Laced With Personal Threats
10/3/2011 - New Low-Calorie Sheep Bred To Combat Wolf Obesity
10/3/2011 - No more kids
10/3/2011 - Brooke Alvarez Tells You How to Look Good for the End of the World
10/3/2011 - Smart Phones
10/3/2011 - Boardwalk Con Men Hit Hard By Sharp Decrease In Chumps
10/3/2011 - Occupy Wall Street Growing
10/3/2011 - NHL Not Quite Sure Why It Has A Preseason
10/3/2011 - Civilization To Hold Off On Having Any More Kids For A While
10/2/2011 - Vengeance-Minded Glacier Just Biding Time Until Next Ice Age
10/2/2011 - Ryan Fitzpatrick
10/2/2011 - Man Strains To Find Personalities In Pet Fish
10/1/2011 - What Man Thinks Is Recycling Takes City Workers 2 Hours A Day To Sort
10/1/2011 - Longtime Coffee Shop Employee Thought Customers Would Care More About His Last Day