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2012 April
4/30/2012 - Who Do You Think You Are?
4/30/2012 - Biden Unveils New Health Initiative To Make U.S. Women Hotter
4/30/2012 - Poll: Support For Afghanistan War Up Among Americans Who Love Horrible Situations
4/30/2012 - For Whom The Ball Drops
4/30/2012 - Errant Keystroke Produces Character Never Before Seen By Human Eyes
4/30/2012 - Photographic Evidence Shows Local Mom Used To Be Attractive
4/30/2012 - Jimmie Johnson Disqualified After Pre-Race Inspection Reveals Car To Be Airplane
4/30/2012 - Salt Content In Fast Food Depends On Country
4/30/2012 - The Week In Pictures
4/30/2012 - NASA Announces Plans To Put Man On Bus To Cleveland
4/29/2012 - Whoever egged Rob Murtha's Dodge Charger is as good as dead.
4/28/2012 - Phil Jackson Enjoying Retirement On Montana Ranch With Egomaniacal Livestock Who Hate Each Other
4/27/2012 - Pilots
4/27/2012 - Report: A-Rod Probably Thinking About Betting On Baseball
4/27/2012 - Report: Typical City Bus Contains No Fewer Than Four Erections At Any Given Time
4/27/2012 - Starbucks Removes Beetle-Based Coloring
4/27/2012 - Mosquito's Life Cut Short
4/26/2012 - After a series of failed suicide attempts, Maria Trotter, 28, was killed last night in a car accident. The other driver should know not to feel too terrible about the whole thing.
4/26/2012 - No One Can Remember Seeing Houston Astros For At Least A Week
4/26/2012 - Reverend Blessed With Nine-Inch Penis
4/25/2012 - Cash Cab
4/25/2012 - Kanye West In Feud With Nation Of Syria
4/25/2012 - Ron Paul Video Game In Development
4/25/2012 - Group Of '90s Footnotes Welcomes Gingrich Home
4/25/2012 - Cancer Victim Given Second Chance At Death
4/24/2012 - Latest Blake Griffin Dunk More Annoying Than Anything
4/24/2012 - Obama's Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone
4/24/2012 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of April 24, 2012
4/24/2012 - Pope Lays Off 20 Cardinals
4/23/2012 - Pekingese Really Letting Self Go Since Winning Westminster
4/23/2012 - Eric Cantor Tossed By Bucking Mitch McConnell During Congressional Rodeo
4/23/2012 - Joakim Noah Gets Some Ugly But Gutsy Yard Work Done Over The Weekend
4/23/2012 - Wind Farms Leave Most Birds Unaffected
4/23/2012 - The Week In Pictures
4/23/2012 - Cocky Attempt To Operate ATM In Spanish Backfires
4/22/2012 - Study: Red Meat Takes Years Off Of Cow's Life
4/22/2012 - Storage Wars
4/22/2012 - Mel Kiper Thinks Someone Else Is Overrated
4/22/2012 - NASCAR's New Electric Pace Car
4/21/2012 - George H.W. Bush Hasn't Seen Anyone From His Secret Service Detail In Years
4/21/2012 - Busy Mel Kiper, Jr. Still Finds Time To Throw Around The Old Spreadsheet With His Daughter
4/21/2012 - Well, Well, Well, Look Who’s Come Crawling To His Uncle To Hear His Fleetwood Mac Concert Stories
4/21/2012 - Man Just Wants To Come Home, Hear Lindsay Lohan Made Fun Of, Get Some Sleep
4/20/2012 - The Color On The Left Or The Right: Which Do You Think Is Better For A Living Room Accent Wall?
4/20/2012 - So, You Wanna Dance?
4/20/2012 - University Shuts Down Marijuana Rally
4/20/2012 - Arizona Toughens Immigration Laws In Attempt To Rid State Of Phoenix Coyotes
4/20/2012 - Eric Cantor Tossed By Bucking Mitch McConnell During Congressional Rodeo
4/20/2012 - Golf Pretty Sure All Those Young Black Kids Inspired By Tiger Woods Should Have Arrived By Now
4/20/2012 - Shit, Friend Just Said Something To Obnoxious Drunk Guy On Bus
4/20/2012 - Norwegian Mass-Murderer Would Prefer Execution
4/20/2012 - Wal-Mart Executives Kind Of Weirded Out By Town Not Putting Up Any Resistance To Store Opening
4/20/2012 - Vatican Tightens Nocturnal Emissions Standards
4/19/2012 - Dick Clark Dead
4/19/2012 - Who's Sleeping In The Guest Room?
4/19/2012 - Charlotte Bobcats Still Practicing For Some Reason
4/19/2012 - Area Man Proud He Can Still Fit Into Car From High School
4/19/2012 - The Sinking Of The Titanic: 100 Years Later
4/19/2012 - GSA Under Fire
4/19/2012 - Depressed Ralph Lauren Releases New Wrinkled Dress Shirt With Marinara Stain On It
4/19/2012 - Supermodel Really Interested In Meeting Creator Of Fan Website
4/18/2012 - Break Room Masters
4/18/2012 - Warren Buffett Being Treated For Cancer
4/18/2012 - Four American Troops Tragically Killed Along With 23 Afghanis
4/18/2012 - Retail Sales Rise
4/18/2012 - Obama Launches More Realistic 'I Have Big Ideas But We'll See How It Goes' Campaign Slogan
4/18/2012 - Archaeologists Report Recently Uncovered Tomb Sure Smells Like Mummies
4/17/2012 - Bring Your Laptop To The Corn Palace!
4/17/2012 - Evan DeRosa, 31, died from head injuries sustained during a bicycle accident. And get this, he was wearing a helmet, so suck on that helmet companies. Guy still died.
4/17/2012 - Space Shuttle Discovery Moves To D.C.
4/17/2012 - Your Horoscopes – Week of April 17, 2012
4/17/2012 - Joe Maddon Working On Creating Cool New Infield Position
4/17/2012 - Report: Every Potential 2040 President Already Unelectable Due To Facebook
4/17/2012 - FDA Urges Farmers To Eliminate Antibiotic Use
4/17/2012 - Human Civilization Brings Out Worst In Area Man
4/17/2012 - Investigators Blame Stupidity For Area Death
4/16/2012 - Celebrity Dreams
4/16/2012 - 20% Of U.S. Adults Don't Use Internet
4/16/2012 - Dwight Howard Tells Reporters He's Very Unhappy In Milky Way Galaxy
4/16/2012 - The Week In Pictures
4/16/2012 - Court: Employers Don't Have To Enforce Lunch Break
4/16/2012 - Trusted Sistine Chapel Janitor Convicted Of Sexually Abusing Last 4 Popes
4/16/2012 - Pony Lent To Dying Girl
4/15/2012 - April 20
4/14/2012 - Every Team, Fan Base, Front Office Panicking
4/14/2012 - Giancarlo Stanton Practicing Line Drives So He Doesn't Activate That Stupid Marlin Statue Thing
4/13/2012 - Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Philadelphia Flyers
4/13/2012 - Newark Mayor Rescues Neighbor From Fire
4/13/2012 - Global Dementia To Triple By 2050
4/13/2012 - Healthy, Nutritious Food Would Have Saved The Titanic
4/13/2012 - Toronto Raptors Think Of Really Good Comeback 10 Minutes After Losing Game
4/13/2012 - God's Plan For Area Man Involves Kidnapping CEO Of Ford
4/13/2012 - On Bubba Watson's Masters Win
4/12/2012 - April 17
4/12/2012 - Yankees Blame Slow Start On It Being A 162-Game Season So Calm The Fuck Down
4/12/2012 - Zimmerman Charged With Second-Degree Murder
4/12/2012 - Rick Santorum: A Candidacy Remembered
4/12/2012 - Democrats: Obama Has Dicked Us Around For Four Years, Now It's Our Turn
4/12/2012 - U.S. Warns North Korea Not To Test Missile
4/12/2012 - Glass Ceiling Business
4/12/2012 - Scientists Discover Delicious New Species
4/11/2012 - Dennis the Menace: The Later Years
4/11/2012 - Santorum Bows Out
4/11/2012 - Christie 2016 Comes From Nowhere To Win Republican Nomination
4/11/2012 - Facebook Pays $1 Billion For Instagram
4/11/2012 - Vatican Gives Popular Jesus Character Whole New Look
4/10/2012 - Sony Loses $6.4 Billion
4/10/2012 - Gingrich Urges Romney To Drop Out So He Can Focus On General Election
4/10/2012 - April 15
4/10/2012 - 10-Year-Old Girl Gives Birth
4/10/2012 - General Mills Pulls Nitroglycerin Chex From Store Shelves
4/9/2012 - NFL: Overtime Games To Be Decided By First Team To Do Something Really Fucking Awesome
4/9/2012 - Maternal Obesity May Be Autism Factor
4/9/2012 - Reporter Helps Starving Dogs By Personally Shooting Them
4/9/2012 - Out To Pasture
4/9/2012 - Three Dead Kids
4/9/2012 - Pope Denounces Celibacy-Protesting Priests
4/9/2012 - Bomb Sniffing Dog Humps Bomb Defusing Robot
4/8/2012 - Planning A Spouse's Funeral Even Though They'll Probably Never Ever Die
4/8/2012 - On Nike Becoming The NFL’s Athletic Gear Provider
4/7/2012 - Bartolo Colon Rolls Down A Hill Uncontrollably
4/7/2012 - NCAA Investigators Bust Into John Calipari's Office To Find He's Already Skipped Town
4/6/2012 - Shelby Cross Warns Women Self-Defense Classes "A Trap"
4/6/2012 - Coast Guard Sinks Vacant Ship
4/6/2012 - Top NHL Playoff Contenders
4/6/2012 - Awesome T-Shirt Cannon Party Interrupted By Nashville Predators Game
4/6/2012 - Yahoo! Lays Off 14% Of Workforce
4/6/2012 - Pentagon Gets 12 Weapons For Only A Penny From Columbia Missile and Tank Club
4/5/2012 - Ryan Leaf Somehow Worse At Crime Than Football
4/5/2012 - Cambodian Antiquity To Be Seized
4/5/2012 - Stephen Strasburg Ceremoniously Re-Injures Arm On Opening Day
4/5/2012 - Phil Grayson
4/5/2012 - Sweeping New Labor Reforms Allow Foxconn Employees To Work In Inhumane Conditions From Home
4/5/2012 - Conservatives Believe In Science Less
4/5/2012 - Palmolive Attacks Dawn For Coddling Grease
4/4/2012 - Obama Signs Bill Banning Congressional Insider Trading
4/4/2012 - Backup Health Care Plan Involves Nation Sharing One Big Jar Of Ointment
4/4/2012 - Busy Romney Sorry He Missed Nation's Piano Recital
4/4/2012 - Republicans Lose Ground With Women
4/4/2012 - Echolocation
4/4/2012 - New Gas Bill Designed By Some Kind Of Freaking Maniac
4/3/2012 - Gerald Carnes
4/3/2012 - Flying Car A Reality
4/3/2012 - Manny Ramirez Trying To Train Birds To Carry His Pop Fly Balls Over Fence
4/3/2012 - Totally Predictable Ending To Wild NCAA Tournament Prepares Student-Athletes For The Rest Of Their Miserable, Ho-Hum Lives
4/3/2012 - Florida Police Warn Public Against Taking Law Into Own Hands Unless It’s That Law Specifically Designed For You To Do That
4/3/2012 - Major Obama Donor Accused Of Fraud
4/3/2012 - U.S. Mint Gears Up To Release Commemorative Penny For Every County
4/3/2012 - Man With Nice Eyes Blown
4/2/2012 - Bin Laden Relatives Sentenced
4/2/2012 - Miami Marlins Construction Crew Completely Unaware They've Been Building Baseball Stadium
4/2/2012 - Unsinkable Cinema
4/2/2012 - Man Arrested Trying To Board Flight With M-80s
4/2/2012 - The Week In Pictures
4/2/2012 - Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself
4/2/2012 - Rapidly Swelling Man May Contain Traces Of Peanuts
4/1/2012 - Esther Hatcher
4/1/2012 - Cupcake Truce
4/1/2012 - Todd Bishop And Nicole Soper
4/1/2012 - Jets Worry Tim Tebow Will Be Distracted By Wild New York Churchlife
4/1/2012 - Apartment Returns To Pre-Houseguest Level Of Tension
4/1/2012 - Report: Majority Of Instances Of People Getting Lives Back On Track Occur Immediately After Visit To Buffalo Wild Wings
4/1/2012 - On Tiger Woods’ Victory At Bay Hill