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2012 December
12/27/2012 - The Onion's Finest Sports Photojournalism Of 2012
12/27/2012 - The Onion's Finest Photojournalism Of 2012
12/26/2012 - Hot Boys We Liked In 2012
12/21/2012 - Surprise Of The Century: This Woman Loved Her Two Week Trip To Argentina
12/21/2012 - 'Zero Dark Thirty' Reveals Navy SEALs Killed Bin Laden By Frantically Throwing Whatever They Could Find At Him
12/21/2012 - Man Who Just Bought Mayan Headdress, 4 Crates Of Corn Pretty Sure You'll Be Looking Like The Fool When Apocalypse Happens
12/21/2012 - Year In Review: 2012
12/21/2012 - 2012 In Technology
12/21/2012 - Mayan Word For 'Apocalypse' Actually Translates More Accurately As 'Time Of Pale Obese Gun Monsters'
12/20/2012 - SNL Hosting Gig Caps Breakout Year For Navy's SEAL Team Six
12/20/2012 - Those We Should Have Lost In 2012
12/20/2012 - Those We Lost In 2012
12/20/2012 - 2012 In Entertainment
12/19/2012 - New iPhone Geared Towards College-Aged Girls Comes With Pre-Shattered Screen
12/19/2012 - Top Books Of 2012
12/19/2012 - Top TV Shows Of 2012
12/19/2012 - Top Movies Of 2012
12/19/2012 - Top Movies Of 2012
12/19/2012 - 2012 In International News
12/18/2012 - The Onion's Person Of The Year Is…
12/18/2012 - The Onion's Other Top Newsmakers Of 2012
12/18/2012 - OSN's 2012 Sportsman Of The Year: Jerry Sandusky
12/18/2012 - 2012 In The Economy
12/17/2012 - In Wake Of Tragedy, Americans Demand Reform Of Everything, Anything
12/17/2012 - Treasure Hunters Discover Wreck Of 18th-Century Carnival Cruise Ship
12/17/2012 - McDonald's Prints Calorie Count Right Onto Meat
12/17/2012 - Top Quotes Of '2012'
12/17/2012 - Top Quotes Of 2012
12/17/2012 - Saluting Greatness
12/17/2012 - 2012 In Politics
12/17/2012 - We've Had Our Differences, But I'd Be Willing To Serve As Obama's Secretary Of State
12/17/2012 - The Week In Pictures
12/17/2012 - People With Children Live Longer
12/16/2012 - Casual Fan Ready To Introduce NFL To His Parents
12/15/2012 - New Balance Releases 'Laces Only' Minimalist Running Shoe
12/15/2012 - 'Right To Live Life In Complete, Stunned Horror,' Added To Constitution
12/15/2012 - Peter Jackson's 'The Hobbit' Stays Faithful To Original Book, Denny's Menu
12/15/2012 - Mike D'Antoni Drawing Up Plays To Get Lakers To Like Him
12/14/2012 - Right To Own Handheld Device That Shoots Deadly Metal Pellets At High Speed Worth All Of This
12/14/2012 - Fuck Everything, Nation Reports
12/14/2012 - Report: It Okay To Spend Rest Of Day Curled In Fetal Position Under Desk
12/14/2012 - 'Just Illegalize Us Already,' Nation's Assault Weapons Beg
12/14/2012 - 30,000 Things To Want
12/14/2012 - McDonald's Prints Calorie Count Right Onto Meat
12/14/2012 - No 'Fiscal Cliff' Deal In Sight
12/14/2012 - Kyle Shanahan Admits Mother Helped Design Most Of Redskins Offensive Plays
12/14/2012 - Area Bassist Fellated
12/14/2012 - Roger Goodell Proposes Eliminating Ball From NFL
12/14/2012 - Movie Studio Blows Whole Budget On Big-Name Gaffer
12/14/2012 - 'Whitney Houston' Top Google Search Of 2012
12/13/2012 - GOP: We'll Accept Higher Taxes If President Obama Gives Us His Dog
12/13/2012 - 'The Hobbit' To Feature 53-Minute-Long Scene Of Bilbo Baggins Trying To Figure Out What To Pack
12/13/2012 - Man Who Will Die In Great Eastern Seaboard Flood Of 2023 Preparing For Mayan Apocalypse
12/13/2012 - Least Festive Christmas Songs
12/13/2012 - Plot To Murder Justin Bieber Foiled
12/13/2012 - Joe Flacco Excited To Work Under Man Who Was Coached By Peyton Manning
12/13/2012 - Taylor Swift Now Dating Suri Cruise
12/13/2012 - Businessman Goes Home For The Holidays To Network With Family
12/13/2012 - Rare Pornographic Movie Shot At Vatican For First Time Since 1982's 'Pope Fisters IV'
12/13/2012 - Ford: New F-150 Pickup Truck Capable Of Crushing A Big Turtle In One Go
12/13/2012 - Supreme Court Unanimously Upholds Concealed Gavel Law
12/13/2012 - Clive Cussler Realizes Latest Novel Not Thrilling 3 Hours After Sending It To Printer
12/13/2012 - The Onion's Gift Guide For The Person Who Has Everything
12/13/2012 - Rare Pornographic Movie Shot At Vatican For First Time Since 1982’s ‘Pope Fisters IV’
12/13/2012 - Inscription On MLK Memorial To Be Removed
12/13/2012 - Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of December 10, 2012
12/12/2012 - Mumford And Sons Can't Believe They All Got Each Other Mandolins For Christmas
12/12/2012 - Authorities Not Even Going To Bother Looking For Motive Behind Oregon Shooting
12/12/2012 - Hundreds Of People Who Will Die Before Christmas Really Excited For Holiday Season
12/12/2012 - Pope Reaches Out To Catholic Youth By Joining Twitter, Giving Up On Catholicism
12/12/2012 - Ho, Ho, Ho! 9/11 Was An Inside Job!
12/12/2012 - North Korea Launches Long-Range Missile
12/12/2012 - Redskins Playoff Hopes Listed As Questionable
12/12/2012 - Deadly New Virus Found To Be 'Real Squiggly'
12/12/2012 - Man Has Such Good Friends They’ll Let Him Drink Himself To Death Right Before Their Eyes
12/12/2012 - Kim Jong-Un's Wife Escapes North Korea In Long-Range Missile
12/12/2012 - Preparing For The Mayan 'Doomsday Prophecy'
12/12/2012 - The Onion's Gift Guide For The Home
12/12/2012 - Man Has Such Good Friends They’ll Let Him Drink Himself To Death Right Before Their Eyes
12/12/2012 - Scientist Names Ancient Lizard After Obama
12/12/2012 - NASA: Water On Mercury Proves Planet Could Support Intergalactic Space Prison
12/11/2012 - Area Woman Just Itching To Complain If Anyone Objects To Nativity Scene In Park
12/11/2012 - Study Finds Millennial Generation Stays On Phone With Parents Throughout Entire Day
12/11/2012 - Guys With Boring Jobs Really Hitting It Off A Few Rows Back On Airplane
12/11/2012 - Slovenian 8th-Graders Surprised Even They Outperformed U.S. Students In Science
12/11/2012 - Taylor Swift Apparently Now Dating 'Garfield' Creator Jim Davis
12/11/2012 - Union Supporters Throng Michigan Capitol
12/11/2012 - Kidnappers' Demands Only Make Sense Given Economy
12/11/2012 - Toddler Leaders Call For Increased Duck Visibility
12/11/2012 - I Get To Determine Whether Gay People Can Marry
12/11/2012 - The Onion's Gift Guide For Kids
12/11/2012 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of December 11, 2012
12/11/2012 - Kidnappers’ Demands Only Make Sense Given Economy
12/11/2012 - Iran Debuts State-Run YouTube Substitute
12/10/2012 - CVS Poised To Be Nation's Top Seller Of Shitty Office Party Gifts For Your Coworkers
12/10/2012 - Boehner Just Wants Wife To Listen, Not Come Up With Alternative Debt-Reduction Ideas
12/10/2012 - The Onion's Plan For Solving The Fiscal Cliff Crisis
12/10/2012 - Other Nurse Thought It Was Funny
12/10/2012 - Disappointed Couple On 8-Month Waitlist To Get Married At Pentagon
12/10/2012 - China To Be Biggest Economy By 2030
12/10/2012 - Furious Bleacher Report Editor Will Make Staff Rank Things All Fucking Night If He Has To
12/10/2012 - Yuletide Doodle Dandy
12/10/2012 - The Week In Pictures
12/10/2012 - Coffee May Prolong Life
12/9/2012 - Tim Tebow Puts Empty Gatorade Cups In Wildcat Formation On Jets Bench
12/9/2012 - Chad Greene and Danielle Faye
12/9/2012 - Sesame Street
12/8/2012 - Johnny Manziel
12/8/2012 - Tokyo Adds 100-Story Toadstool To Skyline
12/7/2012 - Supreme Court To Hear Cases Determining Whether Human Beings Deserve Equal Rights
12/7/2012 - Oscar Mayer Unveils New Weiner Drone
12/7/2012 - Pot, Gay Marriage Now Legal In Washington
12/7/2012 - Chris Christie Dreaming About 72-Inch Springsteen Sub
12/7/2012 - Eagles Concerned By Nick Foles Asking About Best Ways To Tear ACL
12/7/2012 - New Study Finds Primitive Customers Capable Of Buying Tools From Hardware Store
12/7/2012 - Area Family Has No Idea Where Dad Gets Shirts
12/7/2012 - Jerry Jones Wanders Up And Down Field During Game
12/7/2012 - Why I Serve Nude: The First Totally Naked Marine Shares His Thoughts On Fighting In Afghanistan
12/7/2012 - Starbucks Opening 3,000 New Stores
12/7/2012 - Massage That Broderick!
12/6/2012 - Obama Paranoid Government Coming For His Guns
12/6/2012 - Kobe Bryant Blasts Teammates For Failure To Criticize Pau Gasol
12/6/2012 - Sitcom Characters Still In Shock After Christmas Episode Proves Existence Of Santa Claus
12/6/2012 - Man Freely Smoking Pot in Washington Literally Has No Issue He Feels Strongly About Anymore
12/6/2012 - Charlie Batch Totally Embarrassed After Almost Losing To Joe Flacco
12/6/2012 - Apple To Assemble Some Computers In U.S.
12/6/2012 - 38-Year-Old Little Boy Posts Picture Of Fast Car He Likes To Facebook
12/6/2012 - Relationship Definitely Hurtling Toward Something
12/6/2012 - What Song Is Stuck In Our Head?
12/6/2012 - 38-Year-Old Little Boy Posts Picture Of Fast Car He Likes To Facebook
12/6/2012 - NASA To Send New Rover To Mars In 2020
12/6/2012 - Lego Man and Dora the Explorer
12/5/2012 - Victoria's Secret Fashion Show A Hit Among People Who Don't Know That Pornography Exists
12/5/2012 - I Honestly Don't Understand How Anyone Could Support Chris Brown
12/5/2012 - Pope Tweets Picture Of Self With God
12/5/2012 - Poll: Majority Would Back Hillary Clinton In 2016
12/5/2012 - Nation's Hardass Cops Finally Find Time To Play Games
12/5/2012 - Department Of Transportation Announces New Highway Concert Series
12/5/2012 - Highlights Of 'The Hobbit'
12/5/2012 - Flu Season Arrives Month Early
12/5/2012 - Nation’s Hardass Cops Finally Find Time To Play Games
12/5/2012 - Jeff The Normal-Nosed Reindeer
12/4/2012 - Apple Promises To Fix Glitches In Map Software By Rearranging Earth's Geography
12/4/2012 - 15-Year-Old Duchess Of McComb, AL Announces Pregnancy
12/4/2012 - Coy 'Dexter' Producers Hint At 'Huge Plot Holes' In Season Finale
12/4/2012 - Royal Family Releases Kate Middleton Ultrasound Image
12/4/2012 - The Text Message Turns 20
12/4/2012 - It's Funny, I've Actually Only Been To New Jersey A Couple Of Times
12/4/2012 - Hardee's Introduces Shame Curtains For Customers To Eat Behind
12/4/2012 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of December 4, 2012
12/4/2012 - Kim Kardashian Appearance Protested In Bahrain
12/4/2012 - Pete Bushnell and Mary Thoft
12/3/2012 - Shocking Report Says Even The Smallest Horse Bite Can Be Harmful To Newborn Babies
12/3/2012 - Jets Defeat Mark Sanchez
12/3/2012 - Yankees Fans Disappointed They Won’t Be Able To Boo Alex Rodriguez Until May
12/3/2012 - Cut This Monster Out Of Me
12/3/2012 - Dunbar Family Forced To Discontinue Print Edition Of Christmas Newsletter
12/3/2012 - Different Waitress Brings Order
12/3/2012 - Pope Joins Twitter
12/3/2012 - UPS Reports Troubling Drop In Residents Answering Doors In Lingerie
12/3/2012 - ESPN.com Visitor Wouldn't Have Watched Ad If He'd Known Video Was Just Analysis
12/3/2012 - Congress Arrested On Manslaughter Charges
12/3/2012 - Reports Of Movie Being Good Reach Area Man
12/3/2012 - Reprogrammed
12/3/2012 - The Week In Pictures
12/3/2012 - Congress Arrested On Manslaughter Charges
12/3/2012 - Dr. Dre Highest-Paid Musician Of 2012
12/3/2012 - I Was Impaled
12/3/2012 - School For The Blind Has Huge Empty Grass Field Out Front
12/2/2012 - Long Wait For Big Toenail To Fall Off Nearly Over
12/2/2012 - Nets Ask Deron Williams To Close Mouth While Dribbling
12/2/2012 - Nick Moyer