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2012 February
2/29/2012 - The Last 10 Minutes of House
2/29/2012 - iPad 3 May Cost 15% More
2/29/2012 - Romney Thanks State He Was Born And Raised In For Just Barely Giving Him Enough Votes To Beat Total Maniac
2/29/2012 - American Robot's Job Outsourced To Overseas Robot
2/28/2012 - Miriam Kutz And Rodger Juniper
2/28/2012 - FDA Allows Import Of Cancer Drugs
2/28/2012 - Woman Sets Record For Longest Amount Of Time Spent Talking About Oneself
2/28/2012 - Loft Apartments Converted Back To Mayonnaise Factory
2/27/2012 - Crystal's Return To Oscars
2/27/2012 - The Week In Pictures
2/27/2012 - Cost of Living
2/27/2012 - Many Animals Harmed In Catering For New Film
2/26/2012 - Bob Peterson
2/26/2012 - GLAAD To Honor Any Mainstream Film That Gets One Thing Right About Being Gay
2/26/2012 - 5-Year-Old Wants To Be Overworked Haitian Nanny When He Grows Up
2/26/2012 - Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie Arrive On Oscar Red Carpet 12 Hours Early
2/25/2012 - Semester At Sea Students Steal Anchor For Dorm Room
2/25/2012 - Microbrewer Trying To Work Dog Into Name Of New Seasonal Beer
2/25/2012 - Exhausted Sweatshop Worker Just Has To Laugh After Sewing Fingers Together
2/24/2012 - Divine Design
2/24/2012 - Facebook To Permit Users To Change Privacy Settings Only If They Guess Word Contained In Locket Worn By Mark Zuckerberg
2/24/2012 - What Petition Are We Signing?
2/24/2012 - Police Report: Sexual Assault Numbers Under Control, Unless You Count The Super Brutal Ones
2/24/2012 - Startling Pigeons And 16 Other Uses For A Trombone
2/24/2012 - Obama Proposes Lowering Corporate Tax Rate
2/24/2012 - Area Man Somehow Less Popular Than He Was In High School
2/23/2012 - Angela Cloud
2/23/2012 - Great Team Chemistry No Match For Great Team Biology
2/23/2012 - Apple Vows To End Unsafe Labor Practices
2/23/2012 - Handlers Constantly Reminding Gingrich To Stay On Uninspiring, Belittling Message
2/23/2012 - Scientists Create Lab-Grown Meat
2/23/2012 - Female Friends Spend Raucous Night Validating The Living Shit Out Of Each Other
2/23/2012 - Green Bay Taxi Driver Has Seen 'Whole Heck Of A Lot'
2/23/2012 - Test Your Religious Knowledge
2/22/2012 - Ace Of Lasagnas
2/22/2012 - Obama: No Option Off The Table Except Snatching Iran's Leaders With Hook Lowered From Plane And Flying Them To Washington
2/22/2012 - Leaf From "Tree Of Life" Frontrunner For Best Actor Oscar
2/22/2012 - Negative Advertising More Frequent In 2012 Primary
2/22/2012 - Nation Trying, Okay?
2/22/2012 - Crush Lasts Nearly Entire Bus Ride
2/21/2012 - Margerie Hempstead
2/21/2012 - MMA Fighter Unfortunately Discovers True Love For First Time On Morning Of Big Fight
2/21/2012 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of February 21, 2012
2/21/2012 - I’m Getting Bitten By The Oscar Bug…AGAIN!
2/21/2012 - Woman In Ninth Year Of Letting Boyfriend Down Easy
2/21/2012 - Fruit Flies Seek Out Alcohol
2/21/2012 - NewsBlitz: Senate Session Interrupted By Wailing Of Ted Kennedy's Ghost
2/21/2012 - Ducks Only Interested In Area Man's Bread
2/20/2012 - The Parents
2/20/2012 - Disturbed Beltway Sources Report Congress Eerily Cooperative Today
2/20/2012 - Royal Welcome
2/20/2012 - 'I Killed Myself' One Man's Lost Battle With Alcoholism
2/20/2012 - The Week In Pictures
2/20/2012 - Pennies, Nickels To Change?
2/20/2012 - Boy Loses Leg In Totally Awesome Shark Attack
2/20/2012 - Local Child Amuses Café Patrons—But For How Long?
2/19/2012 - Oh Fuck, What The Fuck Is That?
2/19/2012 - Suspicious-Looking Duffel Bag Spotted On Magic Bench Just Glen Davis
2/19/2012 - Smug New Mom Going To Start A Blog
2/19/2012 - Suave Releases New 20-Year Leave-In Conditioner
2/19/2012 - On Lance Armstrong’s Second-Place Triathlon Finish
2/18/2012 - NASCAR Driver's Parents Pay For Congratulatory Message On Side Of Son’s Car
2/18/2012 - Jeremy Lin
2/18/2012 - Tom Brady Cruelly Consolidates Power By Marrying Sister Off To Twisted But Influential Kevin Youkilis
2/18/2012 - U.S. Loses U.N. Membership After Embarrassing Video Of Nation Surfaces On Internet
2/18/2012 - Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital
2/17/2012 - Come Away With Me
2/17/2012 - New Sitcom To Feature Blocking Tight End Living With Pass-Catching Tight End
2/17/2012 - Terry Gilliam's Barbecue Plagued By Production Delays
2/17/2012 - Obama Urges Citizens To Hide Evidence Of Our Formerly Prosperous Lives From Nation's Young Children
2/17/2012 - What To Look For In NASCAR This Year
2/17/2012 - What's Our Waiter's Deal?
2/17/2012 - FCC Blocks GPS-Jamming Broadband
2/17/2012 - Melo's Groin
2/17/2012 - Knicks Doctors Continue Carefully Reinjuring Carmelo Anthony's Groin
2/17/2012 - Man Pretty Sure He Slept
2/16/2012 - Knicks Trade Jeremy Lin For Selfish Asshole Who Plays Knicks-Style Basketball
2/16/2012 - Chinese National Found Guilty Of Stealing Trade Secrets
2/16/2012 - Man And Woman Get Drunk, Blow $30,000 In One Night
2/16/2012 - Nation Watches In Envy As 15-Year-Old Jots Notes In Margin Of 'To Kill A Mockingbird'
2/16/2012 - Jamie Oliver Unearths Joy Division Master Tapes
2/16/2012 - Petition: We Want Heath Ledger In "The Dark Knight Rises"
2/16/2012 - Heath Ledger
2/16/2012 - Moviegoers Not Interested In Hearing What Is, Isn't Possible, Demand Heath Ledger 'Dark Knight Rises' Appearance
2/16/2012 - Deadbeat Dads March On Las Vegas
2/15/2012 - Millionaires And Their Money
2/15/2012 - Charlize Theron Hired To Ride Struggling Cleveland Light Rail System Monday Through Friday
2/15/2012 - Supreme Court Justice Robbed At Knifepoint
2/15/2012 - What phrase following "4-Year-Old Girl Forced To" would you would be able to deal with today?
2/15/2012 - Nation Refuses To Read Headline Beyond Words '4-Year-Old Girl Forced To'
2/15/2012 - Smoker Inspired By Sight Of Elderly Smoker
2/14/2012 - GOP Voters: 'Can We See What It Looks Like With Huntsman And Perry Again?'
2/14/2012 - Roger Goodell Backs Off Expansion Talk After Being Reminded Of Jacksonville Jaguars
2/14/2012 - Joad Cressbeckler: Immigrants Who Survive Arizona Desert Deserve Citizenship
2/14/2012 - So, How Was Afghanistan?
2/14/2012 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of February 14, 2012
2/14/2012 - Saudi Journalist Arrested For Tweeting To Muhammad
2/14/2012 - Shiny, Wriggling Object Attracting Interest Among Fish Community
2/13/2012 - Man Recalls Simpler Time When He Only Masturbated To Still Images On Internet
2/13/2012 - Prime Time for Ticker Tape
2/13/2012 - New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct
2/13/2012 - Bus Bowl
2/13/2012 - The Week In Pictures
2/13/2012 - Anti-Doping Agency Has A Bunch Of Old Tour De France Titles Lying Around If Anybody Wants One
2/13/2012 - 'House' To End
2/13/2012 - Obama Begs Voters Not To Make His Daughters Switch Schools
2/13/2012 - Girlfriend Acting All Clingy After Getting Pregnant
2/12/2012 - Most Humiliating Experience Of Man's Life On DVD March 6
2/12/2012 - Man Who Encourages Child's Destructive Id Referred To As 'Good With Kids'
2/12/2012 - 16 and Present
2/12/2012 - Robert Pike And Tammy Roeder
2/12/2012 - On This Year's Super Bowl Commercials
2/12/2012 - Doctors Clear Peyton Manning To Let 300-Pound Men Slam Him Into The Ground As Hard As They Can
2/11/2012 - Palm Tree Fires Off Warning Coconut
2/11/2012 - Roger Goodell Asks Football Fans How Much They Are Willing To Pay To Make Pro Bowl Go Away
2/11/2012 - New Rumsfeld Scholarship Awarded To Student Who Demonstrates Potential To Ignore Geopolitical Consequences Of Armed Invasion
2/11/2012 - 48-Year-Old Man Actually Very Open To Dating 25-Year-Olds
2/10/2012 - Josh Hamilton Apologizes For Not Calling Sports Media Immediately After Relapse
2/10/2012 - The Post-Super-Bowl, Pre-March Madness, Post-NHL-All-Star Game, Pre-Spring Training, Mid-AT&T-Pebble-Beach-National-Pro-Am, Pre-Daytona 500 Issue
2/10/2012 - Eli Manning: 'My Mom And Dad Are Taking Me To Disney World!'
2/10/2012 - Championship Celebration Moments
2/10/2012 - Poll Finds Majority Of Americans Would Like Things To Go Right For Once
2/10/2012 - The Dr. Oz Show
2/10/2012 - Nonindigenous Larry Crosses State Lines
2/10/2012 - Why Are We Deleting Our Facebook Accounts?
2/10/2012 - Congress Clears U.S. Airspace For More Drones
2/10/2012 - Peyton Manning Congratulates Brother Eli: 'This Has Been The Worst Year Of My Life'
2/10/2012 - Local Man Miscast In Role As Father
2/9/2012 - Brandon Cisneros And Amy Phillips
2/9/2012 - Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon
2/9/2012 - 'Soul Train' Creator Don Cornelius Dead
2/9/2012 - New Biography Reveals Einstein Devised Theory Of Relativity On Paper Because He Wasn't Smart Enough To Invent Microsoft Word
2/9/2012 - Arne Duncan
2/9/2012 - Spanking Doesn't Work
2/9/2012 - Alarming Study Finds More Than 12 Instances Of Racism Occurred Last Year
2/9/2012 - Junior Building Inspector Closes Down Area Tree House
2/8/2012 - Cryojennifer
2/8/2012 - Study Reveals Majority Of Suicides Occur While Trying To Put Fitted Sheet On Bed
2/8/2012 - Meet The Man Inside The Nicolas Cage Costume
2/8/2012 - Aged Americans
2/8/2012 - Smoking Speeds Mental Decline
2/8/2012 - New Photos Reveal Stress Of Obama's First Term In Office Has Rapidly Aged Americans
2/8/2012 - Camera Crew Discreetly Trails Overweight Woman For Obesity Segment
2/7/2012 - Matt And Shandra Fink
2/7/2012 - Report: Watching Episode of 'Downton Abbey' Counts As Reading Book
2/7/2012 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of February 7, 2012
2/7/2012 - Increase In NHL Ankle Injuries Linked To Super-Slick Synthetic Astro-Ice
2/7/2012 - Kid Court
2/7/2012 - Choosing Your Candidate
2/7/2012 - Migrating Whooping Cranes Stall In Alabama
2/7/2012 - In The Know Panel Analyzes Obama's Furious, Profanity-Filled Rant At Nation
2/7/2012 - Man In International Airport Only Speaks Business
2/6/2012 - Health Department Still Not Able To Really Prove Why People Shouldn't Be Eating Candles
2/6/2012 - NASA
2/6/2012 - Intelligent, Condescending Life Discovered In Distant Galaxy
2/6/2012 - Landon Donovan Inks $2-Per-Goal Deal With Grandparents
2/6/2012 - Eli Manning Asks Dad If He Can Stop Playing Football Now
2/6/2012 - Talking Trash
2/6/2012 - Florida Millionaire Adopts 42-Year-Old Girlfriend
2/6/2012 - GOP Introduces New "Mystery Candidate" With Paper Bag Over Head
2/6/2012 - Area Woman Recalls Days When She Resented Being Hit On
2/5/2012 - Area Dad Figures He's Got At Least Three More Months Of Screwing Around Before Son Gains Ability To Form Long-Term Memories
2/5/2012 - Nation Horrified By Carolina Panthers' Disturbingly Graphic Logo Redesign
2/5/2012 - On Mike Tyson Being Inducted Into WWE Hall Of Fame
2/4/2012 - Meet The Press
2/4/2012 - Suitcase Spends All Year Looking Forward To Carousel Ride
2/4/2012 - Congressman Hurt To Discover Lobbyist Not Really His Friend
2/4/2012 - Jacksonville Jags To Go Without A Head Coach For 2012
2/3/2012 - Downton Abbey
2/3/2012 - Greg Schiano Leaves Spotlight Of Rutgers Football For Low-Profile Buccaneers Job
2/3/2012 - Poll Reveals GOP Nomination Now Two-Way Race Between Mitt Romney, Total Voter Apathy
2/3/2012 - Tommy Lee Jones Tells Us Why He's Kept A Little Boy's Name For So Long
2/3/2012 - Area Man Finally Sees Enough Images Of Bare Breasts For Entire Lifetime
2/3/2012 - Ron Paul Blames Florida Loss On Expensive Advertising Costs Of Poster Board, Markers
2/3/2012 - Peyton Manning Goes On 3-Day Football-Playing Binge After Being Dumped By Colts
2/3/2012 - Should Sugar Be Regulated?
2/3/2012 - Rangers Mistakenly Attempt To Woo Roy Oswalt By Touting Dallas' Gay Nightlife Scene
2/3/2012 - Traveler Amazed By Sheer Number Of Mexicans
2/2/2012 - 1,000 'Bleacher Report' Writers Descend On Super Bowl Media Day
2/2/2012 - SEAL Team Six: Behind The Scenes
2/2/2012 - New Study Finds Humans May Have Some Capacity For Compassion
2/2/2012 - An unopened one-gallon jar of Hellmann's mayonnaise quietly expired last week.
2/2/2012 - Burmese Pythons Exterminating Everglades Mammals
2/2/2012 - 'Huffington Post' Employee Sucked Into Aggregation Turbine
2/2/2012 - Internet Collapses Under Sheer Weight Of Baby Pictures
2/1/2012 - Shafts
2/1/2012 - Super Bowl XLVI Preview Guide
2/1/2012 - Obama Criticized For Living In Lavish Mansion While Most Americans Struggle To Make Ends Meet
2/1/2012 - Newt Gingrich
2/1/2012 - Gingrich Privately Regretting Not Doing 'More Jew Stuff' On Florida Campaign Trail
2/1/2012 - Facebook To Launch IPO
2/1/2012 - Romney Celebrates Florida Win With All-Night Miami Beach Rave
2/1/2012 - Bloodthirsty Undead Ghoul Advocates Chocolate Cereal Consumption