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2012 January
1/31/2012 - Romney During Victory Speech: ‘Man, This Is A Weak Field’
1/31/2012 - Nashville Predators Promotion Allows First 500 Fans To Feed Players
1/31/2012 - Mitt Romney's Watch
1/31/2012 - Romney Appeals To Hispanic Voters For Return Of Watch He Left On Dresser
1/31/2012 - Report: Syria Running Dangerously Low On Civilians To Oppress
1/31/2012 - Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized
1/31/2012 - Off The Top Of My Head
1/31/2012 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 31, 2012
1/31/2012 - Rosa Maria Torres, 81, died peacefully in bed surrounded by fat grandkids.
1/31/2012 - Chevy To Sticker Cars' Environmental Impact
1/31/2012 - Area Man Thinks It's Nice They Didn't Put The Prettiest Girl Scouts On The Cookie Box
1/31/2012 - Area Man Forces Himself To Drink Free Refill
1/30/2012 - Two Men
1/30/2012 - Joel Zumaya Agrees To Throw One Last Amazing Pitch
1/30/2012 - Weird-Looking Potato
1/30/2012 - FDA Urges Americans To Check Out Weird-Looking Potato
1/30/2012 - Commie Cones
1/30/2012 - Dogs Domesticated Earlier Than Thought
1/30/2012 - Panelists Discussing GOP Debate Clearly Didn't Watch It
1/30/2012 - Just For Show
1/30/2012 - The Week In Pictures
1/30/2012 - Area Child Baffled By Stationary, Nonviolent Images
1/29/2012 - Screwballs
1/29/2012 - College Football Signing Day
1/29/2012 - Area Couple Vows Never To Go Dildo Shopping While Horny Again
1/29/2012 - Super Bowl XLVI
1/29/2012 - Eli Manning Asks Peyton If He Can Crash At His Place
1/29/2012 - On The Tigers Signing Prince Fielder
1/28/2012 - Pathetic Harbaugh Family Unable To Get Even One Son To Coach In Super Bowl
1/28/2012 - The Art Of Compromise
1/28/2012 - Abusive Father Can't Wait To See The Art He's Inspiring His Kids To Create
1/28/2012 - Department Of Housing And Urban Development Issues Report Just To Keep Name Out There
1/27/2012 - Piers Morgan: The Animated Adventure
1/27/2012 - Australian Open Canceled As Tennis Balls Fall Off Bottom Of Earth Into The Sky
1/27/2012 - Oklahoma Bill Would Ban Use Of Fetuses In Food
1/27/2012 - Embarrassed Steven Chu Accidentally Calls Barack Obama ‘Dad’ In Cabinet Meeting
1/27/2012 - What Are We Replacing?
1/27/2012 - New Law Prohibits Kaleidoscoping While Driving
1/27/2012 - Are Bugs Mad At Us?
1/27/2012 - Ninetysomethings
1/27/2012 - Nation's Ninetysomethings Gear Up For Last Year Of Their Lives
1/27/2012 - Bill's Friends From Work Calling Him 'William'
1/26/2012 - Nation’s Least-Appealing Puppies To Face Off In Puppy Bowl
1/26/2012 - Internet Against SOPA, PIPA
1/26/2012 - Football Fans Excited To Watch Patriots Or Giants Lose Super Bowl
1/26/2012 - Time Traveler From The Year 1998 Warns Nation Not To Elect Newt Gingrich
1/26/2012 - Federal Employees Owe More Than $1 Billion In Taxes
1/26/2012 - Population Growth
1/26/2012 - How Would You Like To Die?
1/26/2012 - Scientists: ‘Look, One-Third Of The Human Race Has To Die For Civilization To Be Sustainable, So How Do We Want To Do This?’
1/26/2012 - Virulent Strain Of Soy Flu Traced To Single Tofurky
1/25/2012 - Project Runaway
1/25/2012 - Jerry Sandusky: I’ll Never Forget All The Things Joe Paterno Did For Me
1/25/2012 - Romneymania
1/25/2012 - Tyler Perry Expands His Fan Base With New Films About Sassy, Chinese Grandmother
1/25/2012 - ExxonMobil Swears It's Going To Start Taxes Early This Year
1/25/2012 - Romneymania Sweeps America
1/25/2012 - Obama's State Of The Union
1/24/2012 - Obama Begins State Of The Union By Asking Congress To Imagine Newt Gingrich Standing Before Them
1/24/2012 - Frocked Podium Boys Shine In Pre-State-Of-The-Union Rituals
1/24/2012 - Nation Unsure What To Do With Information That Padraig Harrington Wears Citizen Watches
1/24/2012 - I'm More Of A Breast Man And Completely Worthless Human Being, Myself
1/24/2012 - Uncle Joe
1/24/2012 - Dead Wife And Kids Replaced By Miniature Horses
1/24/2012 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 24, 2012
1/24/2012 - Biden Pins Up Guitar Lesson Flyers On White House Bulletin Board
1/24/2012 - North Korea
1/24/2012 - Giffords To Resign
1/24/2012 - North Korea Returns To Normalcy With Synchronized Disco Jump-Rope Gala
1/24/2012 - Women Now Empowered By Everything A Woman Does
1/23/2012 - Ron Paul
1/23/2012 - Prince Fielder Catching On To Fact That Teams Take Free Agents Out To Dinner A Lot
1/23/2012 - Ron Paul Supporter Likes The Way Paul Tells It Like It Has No Chance Of Being
1/23/2012 - Celebrity Career Swap
1/23/2012 - 2011 In Review: Nation Shocked To Find Out Elizabeth Taylor Wasn't Already Dead
1/23/2012 - Un-Suitor-able.
1/23/2012 - Paula Deen Has Diabetes
1/23/2012 - The Week In Pictures
1/23/2012 - Nation Impressed By Feats Of Very Strong Little Boy
1/23/2012 - Jan. 23
1/23/2012 - Idiot Man-Child Destroys The Set Of Jeopardy
1/22/2012 - Where Are They Now?
1/22/2012 - Joe Paterno Dies In Hospital; Doctors Promise To Tell Their Superiors First Thing Tomorrow
1/22/2012 - Third-Grader Prays Massive Deficit Coupled With Decreased Tax Base Causes District-Wide School Closings Tomorrow
1/22/2012 - NBA Announces Supernatural Investigation Spin-Off ‘NBA Nights’
1/22/2012 - On The Giants Upsetting The Packers
1/21/2012 - Wooden Fruit Hoping To Become Real Fruit One Day
1/21/2012 - Eli Manning
1/21/2012 - Arizona Iced Tea Unveils New 4-Foot-Tall Cans
1/21/2012 - Area Man Relieved Friend's Short Story Sucks
1/21/2012 - College Basketball Warns People Not To Get Excited About It Yet
1/21/2012 - Miranda July Called Before Congress To Explain Exactly What Her Whole Thing Is
1/20/2012 - Feel Superior Now, Asshole?
1/20/2012 - What Are We Hiding From Our Parents?
1/20/2012 - New Super Stats
1/20/2012 - Oh Christ, Mascot Headed Right For You
1/20/2012 - Black Conservatives Support Candidate Whose Religion Believes Black People Bear Mark Of Cain
1/20/2012 - Clam Juice
1/20/2012 - Gross Doctors Recommend Drinking 8 Warm Cups Of Clam Juice A Day
1/20/2012 - Minnesota Braces For Return Of Bachmann's Full Attention
1/20/2012 - 101 Ways To Drive Your Best Friend Wild
1/20/2012 - Obama Rejects Keystone Pipeline
1/20/2012 - Seattle Mariners Hope Jesus Montero Can Get Good Enough To One Day Sign With Yankees
1/20/2012 - Jan. 20
1/20/2012 - Sheepish Secret Service Agent Can't Explain How Vacuum Cleaner Salesman Got Into Oval Office
1/19/2012 - Baltimore Ravens Admit They Like The Ugly Wins
1/19/2012 - Romney Facing Flak For Turn As Venture Capitalist
1/19/2012 - SweetSpace
1/19/2012 - New Social Media Start-Up Aims To Be Cross Between Facebook And Facebook
1/19/2012 - Tebow’s Defeat Restores Nation’s Faith In God
1/19/2012 - Santorum Won Iowa Caucus
1/19/2012 - Girlfriend's Cat Choked A Little
1/19/2012 - Jan. 19
1/19/2012 - Rick Perry Experiences Overwhelming Feeling Of Clarity And Contentment In Final Moments Before Death Of Campaign
1/19/2012 - Dry Humping An Adequate Sex Alternative For Teens, Says Weird, Unsolicited Report From Department Of Interior
1/19/2012 - Nation's Substitute Teachers Would Like To Know Who Threw That
1/18/2012 - Skippy
1/18/2012 - Nation's Sound Engineers Gather To Talk About Their Ponytails
1/18/2012 - Justin Timberlake Wins Golden Globe For Funniest Goofball At His Table
1/18/2012 - Zappos Hacked
1/18/2012 - Supreme Court Overturns 'Right v. Wrong'
1/18/2012 - Right v. Wrong
1/18/2012 - Series Of Serial Killer Killings Rocks Serial Killer Community
1/17/2012 - Prince Fielder Wondering If He Has Truly Free Agency
1/17/2012 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 17, 2012
1/17/2012 - You'll Never Love Our Amazing Deals On Household Appliances Unless You First Love Yourself
1/17/2012 - Critics Slam Obama For "Just Standing There" During Photo Op
1/17/2012 - Would you be open to a new screwdriver head?
1/17/2012 - Murder No Longer Among Top Killers In U.S.
1/17/2012 - Poll Finds Americans Would Be Open To Third Type Of Screwdriver Head
1/17/2012 - Local Woman Dies Of Lost Cell Phone
1/17/2012 - New Screwdriver Head
1/16/2012 - How I Met Your Mother
1/16/2012 - Bucs To Talk With Marty Schottenheimer About How Lousy He Would Be
1/16/2012 - 2011 Top Story: One Of Arizona's Many Crazed Gunmen Shoots Congresswoman
1/16/2012 - Huntsman Drops Out
1/16/2012 - Huntsman Drops Out, Endorses Huntsman
1/16/2012 - Arby's Grab-N-Go
1/16/2012 - A (Director's) Cut Above
1/16/2012 - The Week In Pictures
1/16/2012 - Arby's Now Charging $2.99 To Let Customers Go Behind Counter, Grab Handfuls Of Roast Beef
1/16/2012 - 98 Percent Of Americans Are Afraid Of 98 Percent Of Americans
1/15/2012 - CVS Roadshow
1/15/2012 - Philip Morris Introduces New Marlboro Sinus PM Cigarettes
1/15/2012 - Parents Drop Fake Treating-You-Like-An-Adult Act Half-Hour Into Visit
1/15/2012 - Attending ‘Price Is Right’ Taping Apparently Sailors’ Best Idea For Shore Leave
1/15/2012 - On Barry Larkin Being The Only Player Elected To Baseball Hall Of Fame
1/14/2012 - Ndamukong Suh Fined $75,000, Just To Wrap Things Up
1/14/2012 - AFC Divisional Playoffs, Broncos at Patriots
1/14/2012 - Study Finds Hearing Loved One's Voice Induces Excruciating Pain In Coma Patients
1/13/2012 - Inadvertent Ice Road Truckers
1/13/2012 - Bill O'Brien Promises To Never Uphold The Traditions And Values Penn State Now Stands For
1/13/2012 - What Are We Coming To Terms With?
1/13/2012 - This Shit Again
1/13/2012 - Athletes And Religion
1/13/2012 - Minnesota Braces For Return Of Bachmann's Full Attention
1/13/2012 - Twitter: How It Failed To Solve This Child's Kidnapping
1/13/2012 - Unpopular BCS Crowns Alabama National Champions, Endorses Rick Santorum, Spits On World War II Veteran, Pushes Elderly Woman Down Flight Of Stairs, Wishes Osama Bin Laden Were Still Alive
1/13/2012 - Area Man Shocked To Learn There Is A Butt-Oriented Magazine He Was Not Aware Of
1/13/2012 - Court Overturns Oklahoma Sharia Law Ban
1/13/2012 - Jay-Z Fans Brace Themselves For Onslaught Of Horrible Odes To Baby
1/13/2012 - Cryptozoologist Falls For It Again
1/12/2012 - Scandalous Photos Reveal Grover Norquist Carried On Secret Affair With Taxes For Years
1/12/2012 - Detroit Ending 24-Hour Police Station Access
1/12/2012 - President Obama Wondering Why He Always Has To Initiate Phone Call With NCAA Champions
1/12/2012 - Alex Smith Boasts 49ers Have What It Takes To Win Despite Him
1/12/2012 - Hostess Files For Bankruptcy
1/12/2012 - Grover Norquist: 'I Engaged In A Week-Long Drug-Fueled Orgy With Corporate Income Taxes'
1/12/2012 - Mischievous Raccoon Wreaks Havoc On International Space Station
1/11/2012 - Obama Spends Wednesday Doing Some Urgings, Some Callings On
1/11/2012 - Breaking:
Now
It's A Party!
1/11/2012 - Romney Wins New Hampshire
1/11/2012 - The View
1/11/2012 - Boss's Threats Hilarious
1/10/2012 - One Of Those Fucking People Wins New Hampshire Primary
1/10/2012 - A 12-Hour Road Trip
1/10/2012 - New Hampshire Primary Excites Tiny Percentage Of Population Who Even Cares What Happens Anymore
1/10/2012 - Fish At Pretty Good Place In Its Life Right Now
1/10/2012 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 10, 2012
1/10/2012 - I Thought We'd Have Flying Slaves By Now
1/10/2012 - Will Google, Facebook Stage Blackout Protest?
1/10/2012 - Witch Who Granted Beyoncé Beauty And Fame Takes Singer's First-Born Child
1/10/2012 - Heartbreaking Country Ballad Paralyzes Trucking Industry
1/9/2012 - Footloose and Fancyfree
1/9/2012 - Fight Kind Of Runs Out Of Steam 15 Seconds In
1/9/2012 - Angels Hoping They Can Get Mike Napoli Back Now That They Have Albert Pujols And C.J. Wilson To Trade
1/9/2012 - 2011 Top Story: Queen Beds Kate Middleton In Royal Tradition
1/9/2012 - Capitol Building Haunted By Spirit Of Killed Piece Of Legislation
1/9/2012 - First Mixed-Embryo Monkey Born
1/9/2012 - The Week In Pictures
1/9/2012 - Local Hamburger To Star In National Ad
1/8/2012 - Called It!
1/8/2012 - 'Maybe Hang Out In The Water Awhile, Then Look For Some Old Bread,' Duck Tells Self
1/8/2012 - Masochistic Record Wants To Be Broken Again
1/8/2012 - Mississippi Brings Down Yet Another National Average
1/8/2012 - On Tebow Taking The Broncos To The Playoffs
1/7/2012 - Man Who Said 'Yes' To Life Found With Mountain Bike At Bottom Of Gorge
1/7/2012 - All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer
1/7/2012 - NFL Coaches Admit It Sucks When You Have To Punt
1/6/2012 - Origin Story
1/6/2012 - USB Drives To Watch In 2012
1/6/2012 - NFL Playoff Picture
1/6/2012 - Andrew Luck
1/6/2012 - New Study Going To Take Another Week Or So, Report Scientists Who Look As If They've Been Crying
1/6/2012 - Feds Break Up Brutal Las Vegas Man-Fighting Ring
1/6/2012 - Norv Turner Fired As Coach Of Chargers, Right?
1/6/2012 - What Did We Find In Our Winter Coat Pockets?
1/6/2012 - Perry Stays In Race
1/6/2012 - Rex Ryan: 'Mark Sanchez Was Absolutely Our Quarterback This Year'
1/6/2012 - U.S. Gives Up On Trying To Impress England
1/5/2012 - Andrew Luck Repeatedly Mentions How Good His Neck Feels During Post Game Interview
1/5/2012 - Did The Media Treat Bachmann Unfairly Because She's An Insane Woman?
1/5/2012 - Boy Scouts Celebrate Proud History Of Preparing Teens For Not Having Cool Friends
1/5/2012 - Feds Break Up Brutal Las Vegas Man-Fighting Ring
1/5/2012 - Best Debate Moments
1/5/2012 - Levi McShane
1/5/2012 - Fracking Causing Earthquakes?
1/5/2012 - Man Suspected Of Being Bumbling Spy
1/5/2012 - New Prescription-Only Sandwich Extra Delicious
1/4/2012 - Zero To Hero
1/4/2012 - 'These Last Two Are Gonna Be Real Turds,' George R.R. Martin Assures Fans
1/4/2012 - NHL Tries To Pass Off Commercial Flight As Flyover For Winter Classic
1/4/2012 - Obama Openly Asks Nation Why On Earth He Would Want To Serve For Another Term
1/4/2012 - Some Organics Not Green
1/4/2012 - Dead Werewolf Apparently Allergic To Peanuts
1/3/2012 - 600-Pound Butter Cow Sculpture Wins Iowa Caucus
1/3/2012 - Cam Wright
1/3/2012 - Presidential Fitness Test Now Awarded To Any Kid Who Can Eat Without Sweating
1/3/2012 - Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 3, 2012
1/3/2012 - Surgeon General: Smoking Fine As Long As You Only Do It When You Drink
1/3/2012 - President Signs Controversial Defense Bill
1/3/2012 - Prime Minister Of Norway Gets Laid
1/3/2012 - My Kids Are Learning How To Drive…Me Up The Wall!
1/3/2012 - Woman With Six Dogs Resents Non-Dogs
1/3/2012 - Job Interview Tips
1/2/2012 - Ivy League Horse
1/2/2012 - UFC Fan Knows What All Those Guys' Names Are
1/2/2012 - Christmas Letter Ominously Makes No Mention Of The Twins
1/2/2012 - 2011 Top Story: Japanese Nuclear Reactor Totally Safe Says Two-Headed Plant Official
1/2/2012 - Happy New Year
1/2/2012 - Neighborhood Kind Of Hoping Panera Bread Shows Up And Plows Over Charming Local Bakery
1/2/2012 - Pawn Shop Customer Plans To Buy Toaster Back