Widening Petraeus Scandal Reveals Human Race Has Been Having Sex For 200,000 Years

Nation Horrified To Learn About War In Afghanistan While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal

Your Horoscopes - Week Of November 13, 2012

John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John Christmas Album Plunges Nation Into Double-Dip Recession

New 'Call Of Duty' Released

Come On, Just Open The Door And Let Me In This Once

Lakers GM Claims Mike D'Antoni Had More Impressive Cover Letter Than Phil Jackson

Needy Nation Breaks Down After First Full Week Without Being Pandered To By Politicians

Intern Just Happens To Be Beautiful 22-Year-Old Woman

Weather Forecast Says It's Windy As A Bastard

Wal-Mart To Open On Thanksgiving Evening