Sean Pickens

Paul Ryan Releases 90-Minute High-Endurance Budget-Slashing Video

Nation Suddenly Realizes This Just Going To Be A Thing That Happens From Now On

Sandy's Economic Toll Could Reach $50 Billion

Romney Rolls Sleeves All The Way Up Over His Head

Report: Only Way Nation Will Pay Attention To Climate Change Is If Julia Roberts Dies In Hurricane

Weird Couple Has Greatest Sex Of Their Lives After Announcement Of Disney-LucasFilm Merger

The Word 'Spooktacular' Used To Mean Something In This Country

Nation's Lower Class Still Waiting For First Mention By Either Presidential Candidate

Guy Eating Pistachios And Watching 'Sniper' Doesn't Seem To Be Part Of Haunted House

The Onion's Issue-By-Issue Candidate Guide

Lone House With No Halloween Decorations By Far Spookiest In Neighborhood

Candidates' Last-Minute Appeals To Voters

Increased Negative Campaigning Reveals Previously Hidden Ugly Side Of Politics

Paul McCartney: Yoko Ono Didn't Break Up Beatles