Sitemap
2014 August
8/31/2014 - Enhanced Solicitation Techniques
8/29/2014 - Report: 57% Of All Activism Involves Petitions To Bring Back Discontinued Food Items
8/29/2014 - Area Man Sends Message To 3,600 Friends Asking What They're Up To Tonight
8/29/2014 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of September 1, 2014
8/29/2014 - Abercrombie & Fitch Dropping Logos From Clothes
8/29/2014 - Poll: 89% Of Illegal Immigrants Would Prefer Path To Corporate Status
8/29/2014 - Doctors Optimistic Sam Bradford 2 Months Away From Beginning Work On Broadcasting Career
8/29/2014 - Man Kicking Self For Wasting Valuable Plate Space At Beginning Of Buffet Line
8/29/2014 - Housefly Drops Everything To Go Stand On Watermelon Slice
8/29/2014 - Researchers: Panda Faked Pregnancy To Get More Bamboo
8/29/2014 - The Genius Behind TinyURL Explains How He Gets The Links So Small
8/29/2014 - New Faces - Ep. 2
8/28/2014 - Vikings Intrigued By Matt Cassel’s Ability To Get The Fuck Out Of Adrian Peterson’s Way
8/28/2014 - ‘Hello Kitty’ Actually A British Schoolgirl
8/28/2014 - A Look At The Class Of 2018
8/28/2014 - How Are We Raising Awareness For Our Charity?
8/28/2014 - Secretary Of Interior Says Knocking Down Rocky Mountains Could Really Open Nation Up
8/28/2014 - Koch Brothers Encouraging Youth To Make Voices Heard By Registering Super PAC
8/28/2014 - New Rec Room Has Everything A Teen Could Want, Reports Church Youth Pastor
8/28/2014 - Horrified Subway Execs Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs To Share With A Friend
8/28/2014 - Study Finds All-Consuming Self-Pity Best Way To Win Back Ex-Partner
8/28/2014 - Report: Female Interns Earn Only Three-Fourths Of College Credit That Male Counterparts Do
8/28/2014 - New ‘Smart Polo’ Detects Wearer’s Stress Levels
8/27/2014 - Arby’s Offering Secret ‘Meat Mountain’ Sandwich For Those Who Ask
8/27/2014 - Michael Brown Audiotapes Conclusively Reveal Exactly What You Want Them To
8/27/2014 - Elderly Lobbyist Always Droning On About How Little Legislation Cost In His Day
8/27/2014 - How Do Militant Groups Attract Americans?
8/27/2014 - Teacher Asks Students To Split Into 2 Groups To Simulate Ideal Class Size
8/27/2014 - Unpopular Police Officer Thinking About Committing Racially Motivated Offense For A Little Support
8/27/2014 - Grandfather Not Taking South Korea’s Little League World Series Win Very Well
8/27/2014 - Eclipse Comes Just In Time To Save John Kerry From Tribe Of Island Cannibals
8/27/2014 - Farmer Chases Fifth Wedding Party Out Of Barn This Month
8/27/2014 - Pediatricians: School Should Start Later For Teens So They Can Sleep
8/26/2014 - Middle-Aged Man Having Best Snacks Of His Life
8/26/2014 - Wes Welker Confident He Will Be Ready For Patriots’ Season Opener
8/26/2014 - ‘Knee Defender’ Passenger Fight Diverts Entire Plane
8/26/2014 - Increased Violence Leads State Department To Issue Advisory For Americans Traveling To 1861
8/26/2014 - Back-To-School Preparation Tips For Parents
8/26/2014 - We’re Going To Enjoy This Cocaine-Fueled Mason Jar Rocket Ride For As Long As It Lasts
8/26/2014 - GOP Maintains Solid Hold On Youth That Already Look Like Old Men
8/26/2014 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 26, 2014
8/26/2014 - Condoleezza Rice Spends First 15 Minutes Of College Football Committee Meeting Asking What The Fuck She Is Doing There
8/26/2014 - Leaving Dorm Room Door Open To Play Large Role In Freshman’s Social Strategy
8/25/2014 - MTV Airs Ferguson Public Service Announcement During VMA Awards
8/25/2014 - ‘Active Shooter At Large,’ Reports Endless Background Hum Of Modern American Life
8/25/2014 - Chinese Movie Theaters Displaying Audience Texts On Screen
8/25/2014 - L’Oréal Releases New Line Of Makeup Specifically For Men To Wear When Wives Not Home
8/25/2014 - Do You Believe Pornography Is Harmful To Society?
8/25/2014 - Source Of Jealousy Not Even That Successful
8/25/2014 - FBI Raids Kennedy Fundamentalist Compound
8/25/2014 - Daddy Issues
8/25/2014 - Study: Couples Who Throw Big Weddings Have Happier Marriages
8/25/2014 - Report: More Americans Putting Off Retirement Until Final Few Moments Before Death
8/25/2014 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of August 25, 2014
8/25/2014 - Salmon Just Knows It Going To Jump Right Into Grizzly Bear’s Mouth
8/25/2014 - Mom’s Bathing Suit Just One Giant, Body-Eclipsing Ruffle
8/25/2014 - Buddy Light
8/22/2014 - If We Can Find A Way To Photoshop The Right Half Of A Palestinian Boy’s Face With The Left Half Of An Israeli Child’s Face So That It Kind Of Looks Like One Face Why Can’t Israel and Palestine Find Peace?
8/22/2014 - Mom’s Bathing Suit Just One Giant, Body-Eclipsing Ruffle
8/22/2014 - Report: 79% Of Minority Suspects Receive Miranda Rights While Unconscious
8/22/2014 - Illinois Department Of Corrections Unveils New Open-Plan Prison
8/22/2014 - Report: Average American Worker Replaced Within 10 Minutes Of Taking Vacation
8/22/2014 - Survey: Rich People More Likely To Disapprove Of ‘Participation Trophies’
8/22/2014 - Bored Kim Jong-Un Stacks Entire North Korean Populace Into Human Pyramid To Kill Time
8/22/2014 - Pure-Hearted Little League World Series Players Playing Simply For Love Of ESPN’s Bottom Line
8/22/2014 - God Knocked Unconscious By DirectTV Satellite
8/22/2014 - What Are We Storing At Our Parents' House?
8/22/2014 - Starbucks Bringing Coffee Trucks To College Campuses
8/21/2014 - Night Out Thrown Off-Balance By Friend Unexpectedly Bringing Someone
8/21/2014 - Campus Tour Guide Reminds Students At Each Stop They Have To Get In First
8/21/2014 - Browns Impressed By Johnny Manziel’s Chemistry With Bench
8/21/2014 - Justin Bieber Criticized For Cheating On ‘Ice Bucket Challenge’
8/21/2014 - Salt Lake City Hoping To Boost Tourism By Reminding Visitors They’re Free To Leave At Any Time
8/21/2014 - Washed-Up Toddler Can’t Point Out Things Like He Used To
8/21/2014 - Salt Lake City Hoping To Boost Tourism By Reminding Visitors They’re Free To Leave At Any Time
8/21/2014 - Symphony Orchestra Simply Cannot Wait For Collaboration With John Mellencamp
8/21/2014 - Rubble Courts At Tennis’s Syrian Open Present Unique Challenge For Players
8/21/2014 - How Companies Are Appealing To Millennials
8/21/2014 - Study: Children’s Drawings Predict Intelligence Later In Life
8/21/2014 - U.S. Forest Service Kills Off Smokey Bear To Get People Serious About Fire Safety
8/21/2014 - Friends Regret Encouraging Man To Say What’s On His Mind
8/21/2014 - Chasing A Repeat - Ep. 1
8/20/2014 - NFL: Musicians Should Pay To Perform At Super Bowl Halftime Show
8/20/2014 - BREAKING: Mrs. Nichols Also Daniel’s Mom
8/20/2014 - Study: Human Hearing Most Acute When Listening To Arguing Parents From Top Of Stairs
8/20/2014 - World Wildlife Fund Donors Receive Refund After Western Black Rhino Goes Extinct
8/20/2014 - Report: Average American Loses $5,000 Each Year From Splitting Check
8/20/2014 - Man Wearing Low-Cut Swimsuit As Though Public Pool A Sun-Kissed Sardinian Cove
8/20/2014 - Study Finds 79% Of Statistics Now Sobering
8/19/2014 - More Women Getting Hand Surgery To Look Good In ‘Ring Selfies’
8/19/2014 - BREAKING: Johnny Manziel
8/19/2014 - Vegan Oktoberfest Coming To California
8/19/2014 - Top Parenting Trends Of 2014
8/19/2014 - Chinese Journalists Bemoan Decline Of Traditional State-Run Newspapers, Rise Of State-Run New Media
8/19/2014 - Architects Of 2026 Market Crash Just Finished A Highly Productive Lunch
8/19/2014 - #poopjeanteasdalesays
8/19/2014 - Fantasy Football Costs Businesses $13.4 Billion In Lost Productivity
8/19/2014 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 19, 2014
8/19/2014 - Teary-Eyed Wrestlers Bid Farewell To Friends Made At SummerSlam
8/19/2014 - Battleship Awkwardly Propped Up Against Ferguson Police Department
8/18/2014 - The Pros And Cons Of Militarizing The Police
8/18/2014 - Geneticists Debate Ethics Of Cloning Humans And Forcing Them To Fight To Death In Pit For Our Amusement
8/18/2014 - SeaWorld To Expand Orca Environments
8/18/2014 - Fourth-Grade Teacher Polishing Up Speech On This Not Being Third Grade Anymore
8/18/2014 - Fireflies Almost Salvage Man’s Shitty Day
8/18/2014 - Area Facebook User Incredibly Stupid
8/18/2014 - Would You Give Financial Support To Your Adult Child?
8/18/2014 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of August 18, 2014
8/18/2014 - Strapped In ... And Tightening
8/18/2014 - Study: Meerkats Have Dark, Sinister Side
8/18/2014 - DJ Picnic Blanket
8/18/2014 - Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’
8/15/2014 - Burger King Phases Out Satisfries, Brings Back Chicken Fries
8/15/2014 - Wrigley Field Removes Iconic Ivy From Urinal Troughs
8/15/2014 - Our Nation’s Unarmed Teens: Are They Armed?
8/15/2014 - Weak-Willed Termite Eats Whole Log In One Sitting
8/15/2014 - Museum Proudly Exhibits Picasso Shitty Enough To Be In Kansas City
8/15/2014 - Report: Standing At Work Can Increase Coworkers’ Disdain Up To 70%
8/15/2014 - Social Media ‘Ice Bucket Challenge’ Raises Millions For Lou Gehrig’s Disease
8/15/2014 - Aisle Of Hispanic Food Items All Man Needs To Know About Fate Of Country
8/15/2014 - FDA Recommends At Least 3 Servings Of Foods With Word ‘Fruit’ On Box
8/15/2014 - Neither Pickup Basketball Team Has Scored In Over 2 Hours
8/14/2014 - Tips For Being An Unarmed Black Teen
8/14/2014 - Visit To Doctor Splurged On
8/14/2014 - New Study Finds Humans Shouldn’t Spend More Than 5 Consecutive Hours Together
8/14/2014 - Study: Average American’s Interests Have Practically No Influence On Government Policy
8/14/2014 - LensCrafters, Pearle Vision Agree To Prisoner Exchange
8/14/2014 - Study: 63% Of All Human Speech Occurs Under Breath
8/14/2014 - Busch Gardens Unveils New 9,600-Mile-Long Endurance Coaster
8/14/2014 - Sometimes Unfortunate Things Happen In The Heat Of A 400-Year-Old Legacy Of Racism
8/14/2014 - What Are We Losing In The Divorce?
8/14/2014 - Study: Sex Education Should Start As Early As Age 10
8/14/2014 - Onion Talks: Hypothetically It Would Be Okay To Have Sex With A Robot Dog
8/13/2014 - Running Back Interested In Going In Different Directions After Learning To Cut
8/13/2014 - Cartoon Peppers On Menu A Foreboding Warning To All Who Would Dare Order Spicy Entrees
8/13/2014 - Disney Expanding ‘Star Wars’ Attractions At Theme Parks
8/13/2014 - Police Officer Doesn’t See A Difference Between Black, Light-Skinned Black Suspects
8/13/2014 - Grandmother Talking Big Game About Being Alive Next Year
8/13/2014 - Report: Stagnant Economy Forcing More Americans To Take Jobs As Infrastructure
8/13/2014 - The Pros And Cons Of Waiting To Have Children
8/13/2014 - Study: 73% Of Bedroom Closets Have Wife’s Boy Toy Crouched Naked Inside
8/13/2014 - Obama Has Colorado Appraised
8/13/2014 - Report: More Americans Relying On Grandparents To Help Fuck Up Their Kids
8/13/2014 - Burger-Flipping Robot Could Replace Fast Food Workers
8/12/2014 - Smokey The Bear Gets Millennial Makeover For 70th Anniversary
8/12/2014 - Man Brings Son Into Office To See Where Dad Emasculated
8/12/2014 - Livestock Happiest, Healthiest Attendees Of State Fair
8/12/2014 - FCC Mandates Text-To-911 Emergency Service
8/12/2014 - I’m Always Open To Feedback That I Can Get Defensive About And Ultimately Ignore
8/12/2014 - New Nike Running App Tells You What You’re Really Running From
8/12/2014 - Documentary A Scathing Indictment Of Director’s Filmmaking Skills
8/12/2014 - Weird New Cereal Sets Tone For First Weekend At Divorced Dad’s
8/12/2014 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 12, 2014
8/11/2014 - Asexually Reproduced Sea Sponge Worried She’s Turning Into Herself
8/11/2014 - New Ankle-Bracelet Baby Monitor Predicts Infant’s Mood
8/11/2014 - Decades Of Blasts In Middle East Beginning To Expose Earth’s Mantle
8/11/2014 - Area Man Feels Even Lazier When He Thinks About How Much ISIS Has Accomplished This Year
8/11/2014 - The Onion Looks Back At 'Dirty Dancing'
8/11/2014 - George Clooney Enjoys Another Rousing Evening At Home With Mummified Members Of Rat Pack
8/11/2014 - Area Woman's Type Tall, Athletic Men Who Have Already Hurt Her
8/11/2014 - Johnny Manziel Forced To Wear Cleveland Browns Jersey In Cruel Rookie Hazing Incident
8/11/2014 - Hospital Comforts Patients With New Therapy Oyster Program
8/11/2014 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of August 11, 2014
8/11/2014 - Study: Americans Eat Half Their Meals Alone
8/11/2014 - Bum Control
8/11/2014 - Wedding Vows Explicitly Mention Price Of Ceremony
8/11/2014 - Should Employers Be Required To Offer Paid Maternity Leave?
8/11/2014 - Article About Return Of Burger King Chicken Fries Only News Area Man Has Clicked On Today
8/11/2014 - Area Man Up For Anything Except Being The One Who Makes The Decision
8/8/2014 - Obama: Iraq Airstrikes Not Slippery Slope To Other Humanitarian Interventions
8/8/2014 - NRA Removes ‘Guns For The Blind’ Video
8/8/2014 - Asexually Reproduced Sea Sponge Worried She’s Turning Into Herself
8/8/2014 - Rest Of Evening Spent Declaring Asshole Not Going To Ruin Evening
8/8/2014 - Cardinals To Donate $1,000 To Charity Every Time John Lackey Hits A Batter
8/8/2014 - Frito-Lay Contest Offers Consumers Chance To Appear In Upcoming Bag Of SunChips
8/8/2014 - McDonald’s Testing 60-Second Drive-Thru Guarantee
8/8/2014 - Can Anyone Challenge Koala For Baby Changing Station Dominance?
8/7/2014 - China Bans Government Use Of Apple Products
8/7/2014 - Latest Online Security Breach Forces Mom To Change Post-It
8/7/2014 - Report: Middle Class Running Dangerously Low On Things To Be Squeezed Out Of
8/7/2014 - Man Does What He Convinced Himself He Loves For A Living
8/7/2014 - Survey: Americans Watching Better Sex Than Ever
8/7/2014 - How To Beat Procrastination Is What I’ll Reveal After I Finish Up My New Anti-Procrastination System
8/7/2014 - A Look Back At Greg Oden's Career
8/7/2014 - Delta Launches Alumni Magazine For People Who Flew Airline Previously
8/7/2014 - Why Are We Getting Our Tattoo Removed?
8/7/2014 - Nation’s Prospective College Applicants Go Straight To Princeton Review’s ‘Best College Radio Station’ Rankings
8/7/2014 - ‘Pheromone Parties’ Help Singles Find Dates By Sniffing Each Other
8/7/2014 - Tiger Woods Developing Swing That Doesn’t Send Pain Shooting Through Every Inch Of Body
8/7/2014 - Hispanics Expected To Become Majority Of U.S. Population By Middle Of Father-In-Law’s Rant
8/6/2014 - Entirety Of Man’s Personal Data Protected By Reference To Third Season Of ‘The West Wing’
8/6/2014 - Russian Gangsters Steal 1.2 Billion Passwords
8/6/2014 - Dorm Room Essentials
8/6/2014 - Date’s Flaws Coming At Woman Faster Than She Can Rationalize Them
8/6/2014 - Study Finds Blame Now Fastest Human Reflex
8/6/2014 - Going-Out-Of-Business Sign Thanks Neighborhood For 3 Months Of No Support Whatsoever
8/6/2014 - New Law Requires Welfare Recipients To Submit Sweat To Prove How Hard They’re Looking For Job
8/6/2014 - More Couples Using ‘Wedding Drones’ To Film Nuptials
8/5/2014 - Open Carry Gun Law Advocates Release Children’s Book
8/5/2014 - Tips For Achieving Peace In The Middle East
8/5/2014 - Homosexuality Only Thing Parents Can Accept About Son
8/5/2014 - Keeping Your Child Safe Online
8/5/2014 - If The Founding Fathers Were Alive Today, They’d Be Too Fascinated By A Garbage Disposal To Do Anything
8/5/2014 - Seventh-Grader Only Has 2 Weeks Left To Acquire Cool Identity By First Day Of School
8/5/2014 - Wife Already Knows The One Thing She’ll Say That Can Never Be Taken Back
8/5/2014 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 5, 2014
8/5/2014 - Study: Human Culture Evolved As Testosterone Levels Fell
8/4/2014 - Sex Toy Discreetly Shipped In Plain Dildo-Shaped Box
8/4/2014 - Civilian Casualty Flattered To Have Been Mistaken For Hamas Leader
8/4/2014 - Michelle Obama Can Still Hear Their Little Labored Breaths When She Closes Her Eyes
8/4/2014 - PETA Demands New Ending For Live-Action ‘Dumbo’
8/4/2014 - Study: Average American Has Over 9 Million Imagined Sexual Partners In Lifetime
8/4/2014 - Man Under Impression He Went Down Fighting
8/4/2014 - Super Hurricane Said to Be Even More Powerful Than Bogdan, World's Strongest Man
8/4/2014 - Pitiful Man Struggles To Find Reason Not To Watch Rebroadcast Of 2006 Michigan-Ohio State Game
8/4/2014 - Employer Totally Botches Job Interview
8/4/2014 - Do You Believe Unpaid Internships Are Unethical?
8/4/2014 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of August 4, 2014
8/4/2014 - Company Lets Customers Send Dead Pets’ Ashes To Space
8/4/2014 - Con With The Wind
8/1/2014 - Nurse To Grab Lunch Right After She Finishes Draining Bile From Man’s Liver
8/1/2014 - Sex Toy Discreetly Shipped In Plain Dildo-Shaped Box
8/1/2014 - Teens Getting Hurt Playing ‘Fire Challenge’ Game
8/1/2014 - Fan At Indians Game Upset To Find Someone Else In His Section
8/1/2014 - A Big Help: Meet The Little Boy Who Put All The Couch Cushions Back So His Mom’s Friends Could Have A Place To Sit
8/1/2014 - Biden Gets Grow Light Delivered To White House Under Fake Name
8/1/2014 - Groundbreaking Young Adult Novel Features Protagonist Who’s A Bit Of A Loner
8/1/2014 - Amazon Paying Prime Subscribers To Choose Slower Deliveries
8/1/2014 - Report: Average Person Spends 27% Of Lifetime In The Way