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2015 June
6/30/2015 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 30, 2015
6/30/2015 - No One Seems To Know Guy Leaning Against Batting Cages Giving Hitting Advice
6/30/2015 - Hundreds Of Cheap, Generic Doorstops Flood Market After DoorBlocker Patent Runs Out
6/30/2015 - Researchers Say Virgin Mary Actually God’s Second Choice To Bear Son
6/29/2015 - New Extended Paternity Leave Offers Dads More Time To Lose Colleagues’ Respect
6/29/2015 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of June 29, 2015
6/29/2015 - Let Them Eat Kale
6/29/2015 - Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess
6/29/2015 - Study: U.S. Wastes 2 Million Hours Annually Figuring Out Where Tape Roll Starts
6/26/2015 - ‘Prince George Effect’ Leads To Skyrocketing Croc Sales
6/26/2015 - Samsung Introducing ‘Clear Truck’ To Make Driving Safer
6/26/2015 - The Gay Rights Movement In America: A Timeline
6/26/2015 - Supreme Court Rules In Favor Of Most Buck-Wild Pride Parade Nation’s Ever Seen
6/26/2015 - Report: Only 47,000 Social Justice Milestones To Go Before U.S. Achieves Full Equality
6/26/2015 - Nation’s Homophobic Bigots Pack It In
6/26/2015 - Supreme Court Legalizes Gay Marriage After Landmark 193,000,000-115,000,000 Decision
6/26/2015 - Study: Majority Of Time Machine Owners Use Device Primarily To Get Couple More Hours Of Sleep
6/26/2015 - Stadium’s Pathetic Home Run Animation Doesn’t Even Show Ball Screaming While Leaving Earth
6/25/2015 - Marathon Training Tips
6/25/2015 - Man Just Needs To Power Through Another Day Of Not Being Broke And Unemployed
6/25/2015 - Americans Take Brief Break From Waiting On Hold With Insurance Providers To Celebrate Obamacare Ruling
6/25/2015 - Teens Dream Up Condoms That Change Color When Exposed To STDs
6/25/2015 - Family Enters Crisis Talks After Learning Restaurant Has 45-Minute Wait
6/25/2015 - Boss’s Clout Evaporates After He’s Seen In Shorts At Company Picnic
6/25/2015 - Candidate Profile: Bobby Jindal
6/25/2015 - Obamacare: Recklessly Providing More Americans With Access To Longer Lifespans
6/25/2015 - Mom Triumphantly Drags Hotel Pool Lounge Chair Back To Family Like Fresh Kill
6/25/2015 - Report: American Households Throw Away $640 Worth Of Food Each Year
6/25/2015 - Report: More American Children Raised By Carjackers Who Didn’t Realize There Was Someone In Backseat
6/25/2015 - World’s Frogs Unveil 5-Million-Year Plan To Move Up Food Chain
6/24/2015 - Timeline Of Mass Extinction
6/24/2015 - Gmail Unveils ‘Unsend’ Option
6/24/2015 - Tips For Keeping Your Energy Bills Down
6/24/2015 - Study: Floating Heap Of Trash Now Ocean’s Apex Predator
6/24/2015 - Taylor Swift Delivers Fans’ Pregnancy News
6/24/2015 - Braves Manager Reminds Players He’ll Throw Out All Unclaimed Steroids In Locker Room Fridge On Friday
6/24/2015 - Frustrated David Ortiz Breaks Bat Boy Over Knee
6/24/2015 - Non-Denominational Terrorist Organization Welcomes Extremists Of All Faiths
6/24/2015 - Detective Not Sure He Was Close Enough To Partner To Endlessly Pursue Killer
6/24/2015 - Man Excited To Look Like Different Type Of Idiot In Front Of Coworkers At Bar
6/23/2015 - Walmart Pulling Confederate Flag Merchandise From Shelves
6/23/2015 - Every Conceivable Nook In Car Stuffed With Trash By Second Hour Of Road Trip
6/23/2015 - Disney World Forced To Euthanize Character That Attacked Visitor
6/23/2015 - Vending Machine Most Up-To-Date Technology In School
6/23/2015 - Stupid 16-Year-Old Completely Wasting Adderall Prescription On Mental Health
6/23/2015 - Pete Rose, Tim Donaghy Among Class Of 2015 Inductees For Sports Betting Hall Of Fame
6/23/2015 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 23, 2015
6/23/2015 - Sony Demands That Spider-Man Be Straight, White
6/23/2015 - The Only Way To Get Over Your Fear Of The Moon Is To Walk On It
6/23/2015 - Study: Employees Happiest When Pretending To Work From Home
6/23/2015 - Mom Recommends Previously Unheard-Of Form Of Transportation Son Could Take To Get Home
6/22/2015 - Strongside/Weakside: Alex Morgan
6/22/2015 - Runaway Hit
6/22/2015 - Black Man In Support Of Confederate Flag Triples His Media Appearance Rates
6/22/2015 - Jeb Bush Surprised How Easily Stance On Confederate Flag Set Him Apart From Other Republican Candidates
6/22/2015 - South Carolina Refuses To Remove Confederate Flag From Capitol Trailer
6/22/2015 - Etsy Bans Sale Of Metaphysical Items
6/22/2015 - Mentor To Younger Women In Company Lets Herself Knock One Down Once In A While As Treat
6/22/2015 - Report: Biggest Parenting Fear Remains Losing Child In High-Stakes Poker Tournament
6/22/2015 - Comic Book Fans Adamant That Human Torch Be Played By Actor Whose Body Actually Engulfed In Flames
6/22/2015 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of June 22, 2015
6/22/2015 - Ungrateful Man Just Up And Dies After Everything Insurance Company Has Done For Him
6/22/2015 - Study: Cat Videos Boost Energy, Positive Emotion
6/19/2015 - God Admits He Too Close To Creation To Judge Whether It Any Good Or Not
6/19/2015 - Walmart Moves Greeters Back To Front Of Stores
6/19/2015 - Report: 98% Of German Sexual Intercourse Uploaded To Pornhub
6/19/2015 - Younger Vikings Players Picking Adrian Peterson’s Brain For Parenting Tips
6/19/2015 - Study: 84% Of Couples Who Walk Around Exploring New Neighborhood Never Make It Home
6/19/2015 - Treasury Department Asking Public To Help Choose Woman On New $10 Bill
6/19/2015 - NRA Starts Up Their Shit About What Would Be Even Greater Injustice
6/19/2015 - Serial Killer Admits He’s Lost Track Of Pattern He Was Going For Originally
6/19/2015 - Bubba Watson Horrified To Learn Two-Thirds Of Earth Covered In Water Hazards
6/19/2015 - Guy Sipping Energy Drink On Subway Probably Heading Off To Snowboard In X Games Or Something
6/18/2015 - Frustrated Republicans Argue Pope Should Leave Science To Scientists Who Deny Climate Change
6/18/2015 - Highlights Of The Pope’s Climate Change Encyclical
6/18/2015 - Report: Donald Trump Paid Background Actors $50 To Cheer Him At Rally
6/18/2015 - Patriots Horrified After New Super Bowl Rings Cause Fingers To Shrivel Up, Turn Black
6/18/2015 - National Dialogue Dusted Off
6/18/2015 - FDA Gives Food Corporations 3 Years To Eliminate Trans Fats
6/18/2015 - Wedding Album Off To Bizarre Start With Photo Of 2 Acorns Floating In Glass Of Water
6/18/2015 - Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break
6/17/2015 - ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
6/17/2015 - Top Summer Internships For 2015
6/17/2015 - Study Finds Dangers Even In Casual Bullfighting
6/17/2015 - Neil Young Mad At Donald Trump For Using Song For Campaign
6/17/2015 - Man Recalls Desperate, Exhausting 14-Month Job Search That Made Him Want To Get Into Sales
6/17/2015 - Banking Tech Firm Develops Software That Lets Customers Use Emojis As Passwords
6/17/2015 - God Scores Another Free Balloon Some Dumb Kid Let Go Of
6/17/2015 - U.S. Consumers Announce Plan To Get One Of Those
6/16/2015 - Less Popular Friend Proposes Combining Birthdays Into Single Party
6/16/2015 - Gap Closures To Leave Americans With Fewer Places To Buy Pants For Friend’s Wedding At Last Second
6/16/2015 - Rioting Blackhawks Fans Flip United Center
6/16/2015 - Gap Closing 175 Locations In Favor Of Smaller, ‘More Vibrant’ Stores
6/16/2015 - Man Pretty Cocky Since Beating Cancer
6/16/2015 - Candidate Profile: Donald Trump
6/16/2015 - Police Headquarters Completes New Addition To Accommodate Officers On Desk Duty For Misconduct
6/16/2015 - Study: Dogs Can Tell When People Are Nice To Their Owners
6/16/2015 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 16, 2015
6/16/2015 - Study Finds Girls Go Through Manga Phase Earlier Than Boys
6/16/2015 - Dementia Study Reveals Fond Memories First To Go
6/16/2015 - One Time I Punched A Goose Right Out Of The Air
6/15/2015 - Pope Francis Calls On Catholics To Pay Attention To The Environment
6/15/2015 - Beefy Little Boy On Boogie Board Misses Fourth Wave In A Row
6/15/2015 - NHL Begins Defrosting Stanley Cup
6/15/2015 - Sexist Pig Has No Idea When Team USA Playing Nigeria
6/15/2015 - Candidate Profile: Jeb Bush
6/15/2015 - Report: Fuck Guy In Kayak
6/15/2015 - North Korean Military Developing Parade Capable Of Traveling 5,000 Miles
6/15/2015 - Fox News Holding Second Primary Debate For Less Popular GOP Candidates
6/15/2015 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of June 15, 2015
6/15/2015 - Father And Shun
6/15/2015 - Department Of Interior Sets Aside 50,000 Acres Of Federal Land For Anonymous Sexual Encounters
6/15/2015 - Coworker Who Just Threw Fit And Stormed Out Of Room Looked Like Total Badass
6/15/2015 - TV Commercial For Beverage Features Woefully Reckless Pouring Technique
6/12/2015 - Guest Given Air Mattress That Will Slowly Deflate Throughout Night
6/12/2015 - NBA Players Association Calls For Increased Referee Presence In High-Foul Areas
6/12/2015 - Couple Threatens To Divorce If Gay Marriage Legalized
6/12/2015 - Tampa Bay Lightning Maintain Home Advantage By Restricting Admission To Fans Weighing 300 Pounds Or Less
6/12/2015 - North American Children Begin Summer Migration To Dad’s
6/12/2015 - Billionaire: I Was Happier When I Made $12 A Month
6/12/2015 - Embarrassed Snake Can’t Believe Documentary Crew Caught It Whiffing While Lunging At Toad
6/12/2015 - Man Forced To Come Up With 45 Seconds Of Facial Expressions While Waitress Lists Off Specials
6/12/2015 - Detective Behind Two-Way Mirror Nervously Crosses Arms As Criminal Addresses Him Directly
6/11/2015 - Lance Armstrong Compares Himself To Lord Voldemort
6/11/2015 - LeBron James Clearly Expecting Cleveland-Area Deli To Give Him Free Sandwich
6/11/2015 - The Onion Reviews ‘Jurassic World’
6/11/2015 - 2015 Summer Festival Guide
6/11/2015 - Man’s Obituary Accompanied By Photo Of Him Dressed As Wizard
6/11/2015 - FIFA Advises Female Players Unhappy With Turf To Spend More Time In Midair
6/11/2015 - Man Treats Mother To Detail About His Personal Life
6/11/2015 - Chiquita Introduces Easy-Grip Banana
6/11/2015 - Struggling Justice Alito Sent Down To Lower Federal Court
6/11/2015 - Kellogg’s Launching ‘Netflix For Snacks’ Subscription Service
6/11/2015 - Report: San Francisco To Shut Doors Over Rising Rent
6/11/2015 - Rick Santorum Slightly Embarrassed For Man Introducing Him As Next President Of United States
6/11/2015 - Area Man Just In Bad Mood Because He’s Tired And An Awful Human Being
6/11/2015 - Hotshot Product Talking Big Game About Being Good For Consumer
6/11/2015 - Study Finds Humans’ Greatest Swing In Mood Occurs Between Leaving Office For Lunch, Returning Afterwards
6/10/2015 - Report: 87% Of Americans Unaware They Have Been Chosen In Later Rounds Of MLB Draft
6/10/2015 - World Begins Another Day At Mercy Of 19-Year-Old Estonian Hacker
6/10/2015 - Artificial Turf At Women’s World Cup Seen As Gender Discrimination
6/10/2015 - Listerine Introduces New Mouth Styling Gel
6/10/2015 - New Law Determines Bullets No Longer Responsibility Of Owner Once Fired From Gun
6/10/2015 - Seattle Installing Ping-Pong Tables In Public Parks To Deter Crime
6/10/2015 - Single Document Engulfed In Coworker’s 50-Page Printout
6/9/2015 - Strongside/Weakside: Matthew Dellavedova
6/9/2015 - Report: Most For-Profit Colleges Started In Effort To Pay Off Own Student Debt
6/9/2015 - Experts Say Best Option Now Is Keeping Nation As Comfortable As Possible Till End
6/9/2015 - College Board Under Fire For SAT Printing Error
6/9/2015 - FDA Approves Female-Libido-Enhancing Man
6/9/2015 - Amazon Quietly Pulls ISIS Magazine From Site
6/9/2015 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 9, 2015
6/9/2015 - Idiot Zoo Animal With Zero Predators Still Protective Of Young
6/9/2015 - Neighbor Still Has Tree Standing In Yard Weeks After Arbor Day
6/9/2015 - Spring Awakening
6/8/2015 - Keeping Your Possessions Safe While Traveling
6/8/2015 - ‘Game Of Thrones’ Fans Shocked After Some Little Goblin Or Something Killed Off In Last Night’s Episode
6/8/2015 - Owner Tearfully Releases American Pharoah After Triple Crown Win
6/8/2015 - Triple Crown Won For First Time In 37 Years
6/8/2015 - Victory Cigar
6/8/2015 - Area Woman Not A Morning, Afternoon, Or Night Person
6/8/2015 - Study Finds No Actual Benefit To Eating Placenta
6/8/2015 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of June 8, 2015
6/8/2015 - Excited African Safari Tourists Quietly Marvel As Poacher Stalks Prey
6/8/2015 - Automakers Ask Nation If It Still Wants That Handle Above Car Windows
6/8/2015 - Man Needs Emotional Support Only A Woman Can Feign
6/5/2015 - Keys To The Matchup: Barcelona vs. Juventus
6/5/2015 - Belmont Stakes Allowing Sponsors To Brand Logos Onto Side Of Race Horses
6/5/2015 - Barbie Now Able To Wear Flats
6/5/2015 - Shower Caddy Coated In Dazzling Multicolor Array Of Various Soap Films
6/5/2015 - Report Finds Drug Tunnels Most Intact Transport Infrastructure In U.S.
6/5/2015 - Report: More U.S. Families Living With Multiple Generations Of Xbox Under One Roof
6/5/2015 - Tanned, Exquisitely Coiffed Bernie Sanders Tells Supporters Corporations Actually Have A Lot To Offer
6/5/2015 - Economists Warn New Graduates May Have To Tough It Out For 5 To 6 Weeks Before Landing Dream Job
6/5/2015 - Woman Only Willing To Learn New Things In Settings Called Boot Camp
6/5/2015 - Baseball Fan Attempting To Visit Each MLB Player’s Home In One Season
6/4/2015 - Walmart Allowing Employees To Wear Denim To Raise Spirits
6/4/2015 - Keys To The Matchup: Warriors vs. Cavaliers
6/4/2015 - Excited, Nervous J.R. Smith Unable To Sleep Through David Blatt’s Pregame Speech
6/4/2015 - Area Man Under Impression He Got Dressed Up
6/4/2015 - Candidate Profile: Rick Perry
6/4/2015 - Cameron Crowe Apologizes For Casting Emma Stone As Multiracial Character In ‘Aloha’
6/4/2015 - Nation’s Dogs Vow To Keep Their Shit Together During 4th Of July Fireworks
6/4/2015 - The Onion Looks Back At ‘The Goonies’
6/4/2015 - New Claritin Flamethrower Incinerates Whatever Causing Allergies
6/4/2015 - Report: Asian Ivy League Applicants Coached To Be ‘Less Asian’
6/3/2015 - Keys To The Matchup: Blackhawks vs. Lightning
6/3/2015 - Study: Chimps Have The Mental Ability To Cook Food
6/3/2015 - ‘Elle’ Magazine Accidentally Airbrushes Naomi Watts Out Of Cover Altogether
6/3/2015 - Swedish Fathers Likely To Get 3 Months Paid Paternity Leave
6/3/2015 - Man Honestly Thought Breakdown Would Be More Obvious To People
6/3/2015 - New Montana Tourism Campaign Marketed Toward Urban Bison
6/3/2015 - Man At Party Comes Crawling Back To Conversation He Thought He Could Do Better Than
6/3/2015 - New Music Festival Just Large Empty Field To Do Drugs In
6/2/2015 - Caitlyn Jenner Receives Praise From Obama Twitter Account
6/2/2015 - 2015 Wedding Trends
6/2/2015 - TSA Agents To Now Simply Stand At Checkpoints And Remind Passengers That We All Die Someday
6/2/2015 - Sepp Blatter Resigns From FIFA With Generous Severance Bribe
6/2/2015 - Parents Worried Children Old Enough To Remember Family Vacation
6/2/2015 - When You Drive A Taxi, You See All Kinds Of Fares
6/2/2015 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 2, 2015
6/2/2015 - ‘FIFA 16’ To Add Female Soccer Players
6/2/2015 - Hospital Gift Shop Figures It Can Soak ’Em For 30 On The ‘I’m Thinking Of You’ Teddy Bear
6/2/2015 - Pigeon That Flew Down Into Subway Going To Need All His Wits To Get Out Of This One
6/1/2015 - FBI Releases List Of Criminals It In No Particular Rush To Track Down
6/1/2015 - Stewardess Denies Muslim Woman Can Of Coke Over Violence Fears
6/1/2015 - Candidate Profile: Lindsey Graham
6/1/2015 - Frustrated NSA Now Forced To Rely On Mass Surveillance Programs That Haven’t Come To Light Yet
6/1/2015 - Exploding On The Scene
6/1/2015 - Disgruntled Bandmates Worried Rivers Cuomo’s Wife Becoming The Fifth Weezer
6/1/2015 - Transgender Community Caught Slightly Off Guard By Baskin-Robbins’ Enthusiastic Support
6/1/2015 - Report: Girls Seek Sisterhood When Joining ISIS
6/1/2015 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of June 1, 2015
6/1/2015 - Family Spends Relaxing Weekend Destroying Outdoors