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2016 December
12/25/2016 - Grandma Hangs On To Spend One Last Christmas With Nursing Home Staff
12/25/2016 - Pope Francis Carves Roast Cherub For Vatican Christmas Dinner
12/24/2016 - 5 Things To Know About Santa Claus
12/22/2016 - The Onion Looks Back At ‘Die Hard’
12/20/2016 - Report: There Still Time To Convert To Christianity Before Christmas Starts
12/19/2016 - Electoral College Does What It Was Either Designed To Do Or Explicitly Designed To Prevent
12/16/2016 - Strategies To Defeat ISIS
12/16/2016 - All The Lame Recommendations We Got For What To Do In Seattle In 2016
12/16/2016 - Comments Section Arguments We Clearly Won In 2016
12/16/2016 - 2016 In The Economy
12/15/2016 - 5 Things To Know About ‘Rogue One’
12/15/2016 - The Onion Reviews ‘Rogue One’
12/15/2016 - Tips For Surviving A Blizzard
12/15/2016 - Top Quotes Of 2016
12/15/2016 - Worst Things We Spilled On Our Shirt In 2016
12/15/2016 - 2016 In Technology
12/14/2016 - How To Cope With Getting Fired
12/14/2016 - Brute Of My Loins
12/14/2016 - Holiday Travel By The Numbers
12/14/2016 - The Onion’s Best Photojournalism Of 2016
12/14/2016 - Soirées That Wendell, Our Damnable Oaf Of A Manservant, Ruined In 2016
12/14/2016 - Top TV Shows Of 2016
12/14/2016 - 2016 In Sports
12/13/2016 - How New Toys Are Developed
12/13/2016 - Top Newsmakers Of 2016
12/13/2016 - Much Older Men We Dated In 2016
12/13/2016 - 2016 In International News
12/12/2016 - Tips For Hosting A Potluck
12/12/2016 - 5 Things To Know About Rex Tillerson
12/12/2016 - Biden Donates Collection Of Classic Skin Mags To Those In Need During Holidays
12/12/2016 - Notable Past Onion Fish Of The Year Honorees
12/12/2016 - The Onion’s 2016 Fish Of The Year Is…This Fish
12/12/2016 - NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations
12/12/2016 - Tips For Airing Grievances With Your Family
12/12/2016 - Those We Lost In 2016
12/12/2016 - Top Tech Gadgets Of 2016
12/12/2016 - 2016 In Entertainment
12/9/2016 - John Glenn Dead At 95
12/9/2016 - Best Sports Documentaries
12/9/2016 - Soccer Cleats Resume Rightful Place Beside Broken Ball Pump In Family’s Garage For Winter
12/9/2016 - Mom Much More Insistent About Getting Grandkids From One Child Than Other
12/9/2016 - Tips For Jury Duty
12/9/2016 - Bikini Waxing Linked To STDs
12/8/2016 - Controversial ‘Heartbeat Bill’ Passes In Ohio
12/8/2016 - NFL To Curb Excessive Celebrations By Removing Areas Of Players’ Brains Responsible For Emotions
12/8/2016 - Man Betrays His Heart By Telling Friend He Can Have Last Dumpling
12/8/2016 - New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms
12/8/2016 - Realistic Day Planner Only Includes First Couple Weeks After Purchase
12/8/2016 - Hottest Items Of The 2016 Holiday Shopping Season
12/8/2016 - 3 Cups Of Coffee Confident They Can Take Man’s Anxiety From Here
12/8/2016 - Tips For Looking More Youthful
12/8/2016 - Matt Damon Dismisses ‘Whitewashing’ Controversy
12/7/2016 - Donald Trump Named ‘Time’ Person Of The Year
12/7/2016 - Scientists Make Discovery About World’s Silt Deposits But Understand If You Aren’t Interested In That
12/7/2016 - Mom Calling To Ask If She Can Throw Away 3-Ring Binder From Middle School
12/7/2016 - City Of Chicago Working Around Clock To Clear 18 Inches Of Bullet Casings From Streets
12/7/2016 - Requirements For Becoming A NASA Astronaut
12/7/2016 - Hypochondriacs More Likely To Have Health Issues
12/6/2016 - C-Sections Altering Evolution
12/6/2016 - Man Looks On Helplessly As Variants Of His Nickname Evolve And Multiply At Breakneck Speed
12/6/2016 - Gifts From Aunt Already Under Tree
12/6/2016 - Report: Bananas Still Most Popular Fruit For Pretending To Receive Phone Call
12/6/2016 - Top 5 Upcycling Ideas
12/6/2016 - Trump Selects Ben Carson As HUD Secretary
12/6/2016 - Your Horoscopes – Week Of December 6, 2016
12/6/2016 - They’ve Got Reservations
12/5/2016 - 5 Things To Know About ‘Pizzagate’
12/5/2016 - Dakota Access Pipeline Blocked
12/5/2016 - Icy Snowball Can Already Tell It Going To Make 9-Year-Old Cry
12/5/2016 - Tips For Hotel Etiquette
12/5/2016 - Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter
12/5/2016 - John Kerry Throws Vine Over Pit Of Quicksand To Save Child Companion
12/5/2016 - Report: This Movie Old Enough That They Might Have Actually Hurt Dog
12/5/2016 - Tips For Studying Abroad
12/5/2016 - White House Supports Military Draft Registration For Women
12/5/2016 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of December 5, 2016
12/4/2016 - NFL Announcer Better Hurry The Fuck Up Congratulating Producer On New Baby And Get Back To Game
12/4/2016 - ‘You Hate To See That,’ Announces Fan Secretly Thrilled About Rival Player’s Injury
12/2/2016 - ‘Rocky’ Turns 40
12/2/2016 - Penn State Staff Unsure What To Do With Breathtakingly Innovative Defensive Playbooks Jerry Sandusky Keeps Sending Them
12/2/2016 - 5 Things To Know About James Mattis
12/2/2016 - Reason Man Turning To Religion Later In Life Must Be Horrifying
12/2/2016 - Broken Ornament Relegated To Lonely Existence On Side Of Tree Facing Wall
12/2/2016 - Best Sports Video Games Of All Time
12/2/2016 - What Smoking A Cigarette Does To The Body
12/2/2016 - Ruth Bader Ginsburg Debating Whether To Cancel Winter Vacation Climbing K2
12/2/2016 - How To Stay Politically Active After The Election
12/2/2016 - Reddit Cracks Down On ‘Toxic’ Users
12/1/2016 - 5 Things To Know About The Dakota Access Pipeline
12/1/2016 - PTSD Treated With Ecstasy
12/1/2016 - Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?
12/1/2016 - Mom Wants One Of Those Things Your Sister Has For Christmas
12/1/2016 - Facebook User Verifies Truth Of Article By Carefully Checking It Against Own Preconceived Opinions
12/1/2016 - Tips For Reducing Your Screen Time
12/1/2016 - Religion Triggers Brain’s Reward Centers