1/31/2016 - Clinton Ominously Tells Iowan Supporters To Mark Front Doors With Campaign Logo Before Sundown

1/30/2016 - ‘Please Hold While I Send You Through To Mr. Gilmore,’ Says Jim Gilmore Inside Empty Campaign Office

1/29/2016 - Tips For Dealing With College Rejection

1/29/2016 - Jets Cheerleaders Awarded $325,000 In Settlement

1/29/2016 - Iowan Comforts Sobbing Jeb Bush At Town Hall

1/29/2016 - Retreating Clinton Campaign Torches Iowa Town To Slow Advance Of Sanders Volunteers

1/29/2016 - Dazed Marco Rubio Wakes Up In Koch Compound To Find Cold Metal Device Installed Behind Ear

1/29/2016 - Area Man’s Back Aching After Bad Night’s Sleep, 58 Continuous Years Of Horrible Posture

1/29/2016 - Security Experts Warn Against Smart Appliances

1/28/2016 - Candidate Profile: Chris Christie

1/28/2016 - Google Algorithm Beats Board Game Champion

1/28/2016 - Dorm Room Decorated With Empty Bottles Of Adderall

1/28/2016 - Woman Probably Just Made Up Rape Story In Order To Get Threatening Emails

1/28/2016 - Concept Car Designers Struggling To Think Of Cool New Ways For Doors To Open

1/28/2016 - Uber Placing ‘Bop It’ In Cars To Deter Assault

1/27/2016 - How To Tell If Your Significant Other Is ‘The One’

1/27/2016 - Conspiracy Theories Mathematically Tested

1/27/2016 - Rex, Rob Ryan Finally Get Bunk Beds They Always Wanted

1/27/2016 - Study: 90% Of Workplace Injuries Caused By Bare-Knuckle Boxing

1/27/2016 - Renting Vs. Owning A Home

1/27/2016 - 5 Months Of College Research Outweighed By Weekend Visiting Friend At Penn State

1/27/2016 - Australia Weighing Independence From Britain

1/27/2016 - Report: Spider

1/27/2016 - NicoDerm Introduces New Nicotine Eye Patch

1/26/2016 - Steps For Proper Wine Tasting

1/26/2016 - Female Professors Rated Lower By Students

1/26/2016 - You Might Be Surprised, But Your Unhip Ol’ Pops Actually Used To Be Quite The Meth Head

1/26/2016 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 26, 2016

1/26/2016 - Study: Zebra’s Stripes Not For Camouflage

1/26/2016 - How Dating Sites Match Their Users

1/26/2016 - Poll Finds 68% Of Iowans Turned On By Knowledge Whole Nation Watching

1/25/2016 - How Climate Change Will Affect You

1/25/2016 - Bleary-Eyed, Stuporous Houseguest Assures Host That He Slept Great

1/25/2016 - Rick Perry Endorses Ted Cruz

1/25/2016 - Jeb Bush Campaign Kicks Off 3-State Farewell Tour With Iowa Town Hall Meeting

1/25/2016 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of January 25, 2016

1/25/2016 - Dogs Might Detect Human Emotions

1/25/2016 - The Oscar Race

1/25/2016 - Disney World Opens New Ordeal Kingdom For Family Meltdowns

1/25/2016 - Boss Wants Friendly, Relaxed Company Culture In Place By Friday

1/22/2016 - Traits Of Highly Successful People

1/22/2016 - Scalia Bundles Up In Fur Robe In Preparation For D.C. Blizzard

1/22/2016 - Strongside/Weakside: Rob Gronkowski

1/22/2016 - East Coast Braces For Blizzard

1/22/2016 - Man Figured Drug Addiction Would Take Up A Lot More Free Time

1/22/2016 - Our 25th Annual Most Dressed Issue

1/22/2016 - Report: Mom Saw Car That Slid Off Road Into Ditch

1/22/2016 - Obama Gently Guides Michelle’s Hand As She Maneuvers Drone Joystick

1/22/2016 - World’s Largest Known Prime Number Found

1/22/2016 - Study Finds Girls Outperforming Future Employers In School

1/22/2016 - Everyone In Coffee Shop Can Tell Trainee A Goner

1/21/2016 - Tips For The Perfect Marriage Proposal

1/21/2016 - Possible Ninth Planet Found In Solar System

1/21/2016 - Andy Reid Furious At Self For Poor Clock Management At End Of 72-Oz. Steak Challenge

1/21/2016 - Study: Majority Of New Marine Life Species Now Discovered While Cleaning Oil Spills

1/21/2016 - Pentagon Holds Gala To Celebrate 25 Years Of Bombing Iraq

1/21/2016 - Bill Belichick Visits Hospital To Watch Terminally Ill Fan Die

1/21/2016 - CDC: Half Of U.S. Schools Teach Proper Sex Ed

1/21/2016 - Congress Allocates $90 Million To Protect Remaining Eagles Members

1/21/2016 - How To Join The Priesthood

1/20/2016 - How Public Schools Spend Taxpayer Money

1/20/2016 - U.S. Faces Cauliflower Shortage

1/20/2016 - Lazy, Overweight Cockroach No Longer Has Segmented Abdomen

1/20/2016 - Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Reluctantly Accepts Alternative Sentence Of Coaching Troublesome Youth Sports Team

1/20/2016 - How To Get A Medical Marijuana Card

1/20/2016 - First Flower Blooms In Space

1/20/2016 - 34-Year-Old Man May As Well Keep Pursuing Dream At This Point

1/19/2016 - Tips For Leading A Healthier Lifestyle

1/19/2016 - Average Home Contains Hundreds Of Bug Species

1/19/2016 - Tips For Successful Campus Activism

1/19/2016 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 19, 2016

1/19/2016 - NCAA Investigating God For Giving Gifts To Athletes

1/19/2016 - Just A Quick Heads-Up, I’m Being Radicalized

1/19/2016 - Man Dying From Cancer Spends Last Good Day On Phone With Insurance Company

1/19/2016 - Sesame Street Moves To HBO

1/19/2016 - Tips For Proper Body Disposal

1/18/2016 - How American Cities Conserve Water

1/18/2016 - New Department Of Interior Program To Reduce Deer Population By Providing Free Condoms To Fawns

1/18/2016 - Iranian Nuclear Scientists Hurriedly Flush 200 Pounds Of Enriched Uranium Down Toilet During Surprise U.N. Inspection

1/18/2016 - Children’s Book Pulled For Flawed Depiction Of Slavery

1/18/2016 - Governor Demands To Know Which Star On American Flag Is Iowa’s

1/18/2016 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of January 18, 2016

1/18/2016 - Average Age Of New Mothers At All-Time High

1/18/2016 - Thin White Puke

1/18/2016 - Tips For Investigating A Crime Scene

1/16/2016 - Clay Matthews Suffers Herpes Outbreak After Kissing Bicep

1/15/2016 - Pregnant Women Advised Against Potatoes

1/15/2016 - Frustrated Rick Santorum Still Waiting For Go-Ahead From God To Suspend Presidential Campaign

1/15/2016 - Defunct 4-Year-Old Sports Blog Still Lurking On Internet

1/15/2016 - You To Still Die One Day

1/15/2016 - Is This A Picture Of The Internet?

1/15/2016 - Stingray Loves When Aquarium Visitors Squeal And Recoil After Touching It

1/15/2016 - Shipwreck Found In Search For MH370

1/15/2016 - Passenger Ruins Perfectly Good Windshield By Flying Through It

1/14/2016 - Rubio Refutes Claim He Soft On Immigration By Dragging Undocumented Worker He Knocked Out Cold Onto Stage

1/14/2016 - Huckabee Decries Obamacare’s Failure To Help Slow, Cross-Eyed Cousin Who Got Kicked By Mule

1/14/2016 - Teacher’s Lounge The Site Of 5 Separate Emotional Breakdowns Today

1/14/2016 - St. Louis Rams Moving To L.A.

1/14/2016 - Monsanto Lab On Lockdown After Scientists Find Shattered Tomato Containment Unit

1/14/2016 - Leonardo DiCaprio Hopes He Screamed And Cried Good Enough In ‘The Revenant’ To Win Oscar

1/14/2016 - Traffic Already Lining Up To Be Late To L.A. Rams’ Opening Game

1/14/2016 - Alignment Of 6,071 Completely Independent Variables Necessary For Man To Feel Okay

1/14/2016 - How To Adopt A Child

1/14/2016 - New Survey Highlights Silicon Valley Sexism

1/13/2016 - Powerball Officials Remove Plastic Balls From Pig Urine Brine

1/13/2016 - Glade Introduces New Spring Meadow Fire Extinguisher

1/13/2016 - Powerball Climbs To $1.5 Billion

1/13/2016 - Study Links Binge Eating To Stress, Contentment, Depression, Joy, Boredom, Anger, Relaxation

1/13/2016 - Learned Sage Points Out That Powerball Not As Much After Taxes

1/13/2016 - High School Bully Worried Victims Will Realize He Actually Retarded Faggot Himself

1/13/2016 - Playboy Mansion For Sale

1/12/2016 - Obama Praises Own Strength, Resilience In Face Of Hardship During State Of The Union

1/12/2016 - Biden Urges Paul Ryan To Check Out Nude Scene From ‘Porky’s’ On Phone

1/12/2016 - Paul Ryan Quietly Doing Seated Ab Exercises Throughout State Of The Union

1/12/2016 - Dan Coats Lifts Junior Senator Onto His Shoulders To Give Better View Of State Of The Union

1/12/2016 - Signs Of Dinosaur ‘Foreplay’ Discovered

1/12/2016 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 12, 2016

1/12/2016 - How To Arrange A Funeral

1/12/2016 - Area Dad Stares Longingly At Covered Grill In Backyard

1/12/2016 - Aw, Fer Crying Out Loud!

1/12/2016 - Dolce & Gabbana Debut Hijabs, Abayas

1/11/2016 - BCS Computer Takes Over Every Screen In Country During College Football National Championship Game

1/11/2016 - ‘Mein Kampf’ Returns To German Bookstores

1/11/2016 - Oregon Wildstrife Refuge

1/11/2016 - Woman Feels Like She’s Finally Ready To Start Receiving Unsolicited Vulgar Messages Again

1/11/2016 - Universe Honors David Bowie With Emotional Starlight Vigil

1/11/2016 - Coca-Cola Marketing Strategist Named New United States PR Laureate

1/11/2016 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of January 11, 2016

1/11/2016 - Supportive Parents Encourage Child’s Interests In Anything Within 15-Minute Drive

1/8/2016 - Parents’ Most Common Expenditures

1/8/2016 - Peyton Manning’s 14-Foot-Tall Wife Crushes Skull Of Sports Journalist Asking About HGH

1/8/2016 - Pope Francis Wearing Sweater Vestments He Got For Christmas

1/8/2016 - Chicago Police Department To Monitor All Interactions With Public Using New Bullet Cams

1/8/2016 - Pediatricians: Screen All Children For Depression, HIV

1/8/2016 - Roller Coaster Designer’s Artistic Vision Sullied By Fantastic Four Tie-In

1/7/2016 - Tips For Improving Memory

1/7/2016 - White House Carefully Screening Any Gun Control Town Hall Questions That Address Obama As ‘Mein Führer’

1/7/2016 - Nation Fondly Recalls When Just Regulating Video Games Seemed Like Solution To Gun Violence

1/7/2016 - Saudi Executioner Thinks He Pulled Something In Shoulder During Last 10 Decapitations

1/7/2016 - The Pros And Cons Of Helicopter Parenting

1/7/2016 - Parrots Observed Using Tools, Sharing

1/7/2016 - God Refuses To Grant Any More Transcendent Near-Death Experiences To People Who Crash Snowmobiles

1/6/2016 - How To Drive Safely In Winter Conditions

1/6/2016 - North Korea Successfully Harvests Wheat In Show Of Growing Strength

1/6/2016 - Nation Shudders To Think How Mad NRA Would Be If Obama Actually Proposed Meaningful Gun Control

1/6/2016 - Study: Presidents Die Sooner Than Opponents

1/6/2016 - World Health Organization Adds Gunfire, Explosions To List Of Natural Causes Of Death

1/6/2016 - Transportation Secretary Calls For $200 Billion In Funding To Repair Nation’s Rickety Wooden Bridges

1/5/2016 - How The College Admissions Process Works

1/5/2016 - Corn Added To List Of Items That Upset Grandma’s Stomach

1/5/2016 - How Firearm Background Checks Work

1/5/2016 - Surely You Breast

1/5/2016 - Grizzly Bear Catches Spawning Michael Phelps In Jaws

1/5/2016 - Breaking: Adam Got A PS4 For Christmas

1/5/2016 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 5, 2016

1/5/2016 - Women In Hollywood Perfectly Okay They Not Represented Behind The Scenes Of ‘The Blacklist’

1/5/2016 - Scientists To ‘Resurrect’ Giant Tortoise

1/5/2016 - Vatican Tour Group Catches Glimpse Of Pale, Emaciated Joseph Ratzinger Scuttling Into Dark Catacombs

1/5/2016 - Poll Finds Hillary Clinton Candidate Most Americans Want To Have 8-Ounce Glass Of Tap Water With

1/5/2016 - Baltimore Named City With Best Quality Of Pigeon Life

1/4/2016 - How To Stave Off The Winter Blues

1/4/2016 - What You Need To Know About The Oregon Militia Standoff

1/4/2016 - Man Who Saw ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ 6 Times Over Holidays Thought It Was Pretty Good

1/4/2016 - Pajama-Clad Child Makes Turbulent Rampage Through Dinner Party

1/4/2016 - America, China Trying To Spice Up Trade Relationship By Bringing Third Country Into Negotiations

1/4/2016 - Exhausted Bill Belichick Attempts To Wake Up By Splashing Some Blood On His Face

1/4/2016 - Sale Of Gas-Fueled Cars To Be Limited By 2050