11/30/2016 - Study: Tennis Leads To Longer Life

11/30/2016 - Dinner Party Conducting Full-Scale Investigation To Determine If Tip Was Included

11/30/2016 - Obama Finally Fulfills Campaign Promise To Spend One Night In Abandoned Amusement Park

11/30/2016 - Parents Wish Weak-Willed Daughter Would Push Back Against Violin Lessons Just A Little

11/30/2016 - How To Talk To Your Child About Racism

11/30/2016 - California Weighs Ban On Lawyer-Client Relations

11/29/2016 - 5 Things To Know About Trump’s Conflicts Of Interest

11/29/2016 - Charleston Shooter To Represent Self In Court

11/29/2016 - Man To Continue Slowly Drifting Into Middle Of Restaurant Until Host Redirects Him

11/29/2016 - Unhappy Days

11/29/2016 - Tips For Making A Great First Impression

11/29/2016 - Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

11/29/2016 - Your Horoscopes – Week Of November 29, 2016

11/29/2016 - India Aims For Cashless Society

11/28/2016 - Macy’s Parade Float Covered In Tickets After Parking On 5th Avenue Over Holiday Weekend

11/28/2016 - 5 Things To Know About The Election Recount

11/28/2016 - Fidel Castro Dies

11/28/2016 - How To Throw The Perfect Surprise Party

11/28/2016 - Cuban Army Honors Fidel Castro With 21-Gun Firing Squad

11/28/2016 - Study: Depression Up Among Teenage Girls Able To Perceive Any Part Of World Around Them

11/28/2016 - Poll: 78% Of Americans Hope Cataclysmic Event Wiping Out Humanity Will Have Big Tidal Wave

11/28/2016 - How Virtual Reality Will Change Our Lives

11/28/2016 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of November 28, 2016

11/28/2016 - Sexism Potentially Harmful To Men’s Health

11/25/2016 - Video Game Aims To Diagnose Alzheimer’s

11/25/2016 - Tips For Getting Out Of Debt

11/24/2016 - Thousands Of Rats Tumble About Uncontrollably Inside Snoopy Balloon High Above Thanksgiving Day Parade

11/24/2016 - How To Cut Down On Food Waste

11/24/2016 - Americans Celebrate Thanksgiving

11/23/2016 - 5 Most Common Health Myths

11/23/2016 - Sweden Debuts ‘Mansplaining’ Hotline

11/22/2016 - Nearly Half The World Will Be Online By 2017

11/22/2016 - 34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

11/22/2016 - Fear-icle on 34th Street

11/22/2016 - How To Discuss Politics With Your Loved Ones

11/22/2016 - What To Expect From A Live-Action ‘Beauty And The Beast’

11/22/2016 - Divorced Friend Burning Through New Hobbies At Unsustainable Rate

11/22/2016 - Mom Really Gunning To Befriend Babysitter During Weekly 3-Minute Interactions

11/22/2016 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 22, 2016

11/22/2016 - Melania And Barron Trump Won’t Live In White House

11/21/2016 - Longtime Reader Of Lib-Slaves.info Sick Of Mainstream Bias On Sites Like WideAwakePatriot.com

11/21/2016 - What You Need To Know About The Dakota Access Pipeline

11/21/2016 - Pope Francis Declares Abortion Forgivable

11/21/2016 - Historians Piece Together Carnival East India Company’s First Cruise In 1605

11/21/2016 - How To Choose A New Hairstyle

11/21/2016 - Man Wakes From Nightmare Relieved It Only Expression Of His Real-Life Problems

11/21/2016 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of November 21, 2016

11/21/2016 - It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

11/21/2016 - Fish, Pastry Microbes Found On New York ATMs

11/18/2016 - 5 Things To Know About Jeff Sessions

11/18/2016 - Stealing Tampons From Office Bathroom Currently Woman’s Only Source Of Joy

11/18/2016 - Stephen Hawking: Earth Doomed Within 1,000 Years

11/18/2016 - Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

11/18/2016 - God Weirded Out By Christian Who Loves Him After Only Month In Church

11/18/2016 - Surgeon General Recommends Exercising Once Every Several Months During Flash Of Panic About Health

11/18/2016 - Why Westerners Join ISIS

11/18/2016 - Teen Birth Rates Dropping Nationwide

11/17/2016 - Top 5 Uses Of Artificial Intelligence

11/17/2016 - Breitbart Traffic Down As Readers Now Getting Bulk Of News Analysis From Graffiti Scrawled Across Neighborhood

11/17/2016 - NASA Astronaut Sets Record For Oldest Woman In Space

11/17/2016 - FDA Approves New Pasta Shape

11/17/2016 - Biden Forges President’s Signature On Executive Order To Make December Dokken History Month

11/17/2016 - New Report Finds Americans Most Interested In Science When Moon Looks Different Than Usual

11/17/2016 - Alternatives To Traditional Burial

11/17/2016 - Tinder Redesigns Gender Options

11/16/2016 - Carrie Fisher Reveals Affair With Harrison Ford

11/16/2016 - Deep-Sea Godiva Rig Taps World’s Largest Offshore Ganache Deposit

11/16/2016 - How Clinical Trials Work

11/16/2016 - Tips For Choosing The Right Veterinarian

11/16/2016 - Area Mom Off Thinking About Princess Diana Again

11/16/2016 - 2016 Set To Be Hottest Year On Record

11/15/2016 - Tips For Reducing Heartburn

11/15/2016 - Oh Great, Another Woman Who Only Loves Me For My Complete Collection Of ‘Rurouni Kenshin’ Manga

11/15/2016 - ‘People’ Names Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Sexiest Man Alive

11/15/2016 - The Hoax On You

11/15/2016 - How Movies Receive Their Ratings

11/15/2016 - DNC Aiming To Reconnect With Working-Class Americans With New ‘Hamilton’-Inspired Lena Dunham Web Series

11/15/2016 - Gaunt, Weathered John Kerry Leads Prisoner Uprising In Siberian Labor Camp

11/15/2016 - Accidentally Closing Browser Window With 23 Tabs Open Presents Rare Chance At New Life

11/15/2016 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 15, 2016

11/15/2016 - Facebook Blamed For Political Misinformation

11/14/2016 - Tips For Handling A Picky Eater

11/14/2016 - 5 Things To Know About Steve Bannon

11/14/2016 - Man At Point Where Thought Of Reince Priebus Controlling White House Pretty Comforting

11/14/2016 - Marijuana Could Weaken Heart Muscles

11/14/2016 - The Onion Looks Back At ‘Beauty And The Beast’

11/14/2016 - Crowd Can’t Believe Balls On Frontman Who Waited Till Third Song To Ask Them How They’re Doing

11/14/2016 - Matt Damon Appears Fully Nude For First Time In Local Man’s Imagination

11/14/2016 - Area Man Considers Self Ally To Women Unless They Threaten His Status In Literally Any Way

11/14/2016 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of November 14, 2016

11/14/2016 - Top Benefits Of Napping

11/14/2016 - How To Reform The Nation’s Prison System

11/14/2016 - AMC Reports Record Revenues

11/11/2016 - Implant Lets Paralyzed Monkey Walk Again

11/11/2016 - What Can Americans Expect Under A Trump Presidency?

11/11/2016 - James Comey Quickly Reopens Clinton Email Investigation For Few More Minutes

11/11/2016 - Barnes & Ignoble

11/11/2016 - Psychologists Advise Practicing Words ‘President Trump’ Over Next 2 Months To Prepare For Inauguration

11/11/2016 - Dormant Supervolcano Underneath Yellowstone Figures Now As Good A Time As Any

11/11/2016 - Americans Urged To Get Saving $30,000 Out Of Way Before Obamacare Repealed

11/11/2016 - Prince Harry Condemns Media Coverage Of Girlfriend

11/10/2016 - Obama’s Post-Presidency Plans

11/10/2016 - Media Outlets Pledge Evenhanded Criticism Of Trump, Clinton Over Next 4 Years

11/10/2016 - America Chooses The Glass Ceiling: A Look Back At Hillary Clinton’s Presidential Campaign

11/10/2016 - Obama, Trump Meet At White House

11/10/2016 - Report: It Still Nowhere Near Okay To Act Like Donald Trump

11/10/2016 - The Election Of Donald Trump: A Candidate Who United Every American Intolerance

11/10/2016 - Pollsters Admit They Underestimated Voters’ Adrenal Glands

11/10/2016 - What Lessons America Can Learn From This Election Cycle

11/10/2016 - America Not Sure It Will Have Enough Revulsion And Horror Left For Cabinet, Court Appointments

11/10/2016 - Tips For Interacting With Celebrities

11/9/2016 - Man Nostalgic For Simpler Era Of 20 Hours Ago

11/9/2016 - Vessel For Male Sexual Gratification Very Sad Today

11/9/2016 - Today’s Historic Front Page: Nov. 9, 2016

11/9/2016 - How To Talk To Your Child About The Election Results

11/9/2016 - Area Liberal No Longer Recognizes Fanciful, Wildly Inaccurate Mental Picture Of Country He Lives In

11/9/2016 - ‘Donald Trump Is The 45th President Of The United States,’ Spontaneously Reports Subconscious During First Calm Moment Of Day

11/9/2016 - Exhausted, Defeated Voters Finally Beginning To Relate To Hillary Clinton

11/9/2016 - Donald Trump Elected President

11/9/2016 - Report: Things Finally As Bad As Trump Claims

11/9/2016 - Man Wearing ‘Jewmerica’ T-Shirt Never Dreamed He’d See This Day

11/9/2016 - Nation Throws Off Tyrannical Yoke Of Moderate Respect For Women

11/9/2016 - If You’re Reading This, I’m Already Gone

11/9/2016 - Nation Elects First Black-Hearted President

11/8/2016 - Nation’s Optimists Need To Shut The Fuck Up Right Now

11/8/2016 - Election Night Orgy Shifts Positions So Everyone Can See Results Come In

11/8/2016 - Wolf Blitzer Walks Into Middle Of Olive Garden Commercial To Announce Breaking Election Results

11/8/2016 - CNN Technicians Rush To Empty Wolf Blitzer’s Urine Tank Midway Through Election Coverage

11/8/2016 - Anderson Cooper Informs Viewers CNN Just Minutes Away From First Significant Piece Of Information Of Day

11/8/2016 - Millions Gather Under Times Square Countdown Clock To Celebrate End Of 2016 Election

11/8/2016 - Voter Dreading Being Sent Over To Visibly Stupid Poll Worker

11/8/2016 - America Votes For President

11/8/2016 - The Onion Speaks To Voters Across Nation On Election Day

11/8/2016 - Tim Kaine Stuffs Handful Of Goldfish Crackers In Ballot Scanner

11/8/2016 - Bernie Sanders Fills In For Factory Worker Unable To Take Time Off To Vote

11/8/2016 - Within The Walls Of This Suburban Polling Place, I Am God

11/8/2016 - The Onion’s Special Coverage Of Election Day 2016

11/8/2016 - Woman Quickly Reading Up On Candidates’ Policy Stances After Voting

11/8/2016 - ‘What’s Our Best Path To 270?’ Gary Johnson Asks Campaign Aides Packing Up Office

11/8/2016 - Disappointed First-Time Voter Thought He Was Going To Get To Pull Big Lever

11/8/2016 - Election Day By The Numbers

11/8/2016 - Nervous Voter Totally Blanks On American Values While Looking At Ballot

11/8/2016 - Trader Joe’s Fires Employee For Non-Genuine Smile

11/7/2016 - How To Perform CPR

11/7/2016 - Mike Pence Drapes Shawl Over Immodest Lady Justice Statue

11/7/2016 - 5 States To Decide Whether To Legalize Marijuana Or Continue Honoring God

11/7/2016 - Trump’s Twitter Access Revoked

11/7/2016 - Voting Vs. Abstention

11/7/2016 - No Matter What Happens Tomorrow, At Least I Had Fun

11/7/2016 - How Voting Works

11/7/2016 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of November 7, 2016

11/7/2016 - Nutella Aims To Reduce Serving Size, Display Fewer Calories

11/7/2016 - Nation Admits It Probably Going To Come Out Of This Having Learned Completely Wrong Lessons

11/6/2016 - Trump Makes Last-Minute Push To Appeal To Whites

11/5/2016 - Nation’s Still-Undecided Voters: ‘Help, We Can’t Get Our Car Seatbelts Off’

11/4/2016 - Penn State Fined $2.4 Million For Handling Of Sandusky Case

11/4/2016 - How U.S. Schools Can Improve Math Education

11/4/2016 - Trump Raises Concern Over Members Of Urban Communities Voting More Than Zero Times

11/4/2016 - World’s Largest Space Telescope Set To Launch

11/4/2016 - Heroic Prego Advertisement Replaces Refreshed Webpage’s Presidential Campaign Banner

11/4/2016 - Humanity’s Greatest Mysteries

11/3/2016 - What The Planet Will Look Like In 2100

11/3/2016 - Cubs Win First World Series In 108 Years

11/3/2016 - 5 Things To Know About The Electoral College

11/3/2016 - Nation Puts 2016 Election Into Perspective By Reminding Itself Some Species Of Sea Turtles Get Eaten By Birds Just Seconds After They Hatch

11/3/2016 - Cleveland Indians Worried Team Cursed After Building Franchise On Old Native American Stereotype

11/3/2016 - Report: Election Day Most Americans’ Only Time In 2016 Being In Same Room With Person Supporting Other Candidate

11/3/2016 - Nurse Reminds Elderly Man She’s Just Down The Hall If He Starts To Die

11/3/2016 - A Timeline Of The 2016 Election Cycle

11/3/2016 - ‘Glamour’ Names Bono Its First Man Of The Year

11/3/2016 - Millions Of Drunk Cubs Fans Rioting In Heaven Following World Series Win

11/2/2016 - Top Retail Anti-Theft Measures

11/2/2016 - Starbucks ‘Unity’ Cup Draws Criticism

11/2/2016 - Most Hotly Contested Down-Ballot Measures Of 2016

11/2/2016 - New Heavy-Duty Voting Machine Allows Americans To Take Out Frustration On It Before Casting Ballot

11/2/2016 - Man Grateful To Live In Society Where Mattress Disappears If Left On Sidewalk For A Couple Days

11/2/2016 - News Website Likes To Set Aside A Little Ad Space To Promote Own Articles

11/2/2016 - Uber Drivers Found To Discriminate By Gender, Race

11/1/2016 - How To Talk To Your Child About Death

11/1/2016 - New Male Birth Control Method Tested

11/1/2016 - Clinton Staff Readies EMP Launch To Disable All Nation’s Electronic Devices

11/1/2016 - Nate Silver Gunned Down Attempting To Cross Mexican Border With All 2016 Polling Data

11/1/2016 - Phone Lifted Up By Headphone Cord Like Prize Fish

11/1/2016 - Doctors Restore Ken Burns’ Full-Color Vision After Removing Massive Tumor From Filmmaker’s Visual Cortex

11/1/2016 - Mom Produces Decorative Gift Bag Out Of Thin Air

11/1/2016 - Paul Krugman’s Facebook Friends Excitedly Posting About New Article He Got Published In ‘The New York Times’

11/1/2016 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 1, 2016

11/1/2016 - United We Grand

11/1/2016 - Beauty Queen Told To Lose Weight Quits Pageant