4/30/2018 - Couple Stressing About Wedding Plans As If It Won’t Just Take A String Of Edison Bulbs To Knock Guests’ Fucking Socks Off

4/30/2018 - Shelter Dog Eating Own Shit Not Exactly Doing Itself Any Favors

4/30/2018 - Sprint, T-Mobile CEOs Merge Into Grotesque Executive Hybrid

4/30/2018 - Cofounder of Burning Man Dead At 70

4/30/2018 - LeBron James Credits Teammates With Providing 4 Bodies Necessary To Avoid Forfeiture Against Pacers

4/30/2018 - Nutritionists Reveal Humans With Proper Diet Should Not Be Defecating

4/30/2018 - Tom Brokaw Touched So Many Women Would Go Out Of Their Way To Defend Filthy Old Pervert Like Himself

4/30/2018 - Polka Fan On A Real Harold Loeffelmacher Kick Lately

4/30/2018 - New Poll Finds Death Of Spouse Most Liberating Experience In Life

4/30/2018 - Amazon To Now Deliver Packages Into Car Trunks

4/30/2018 - Don Mattingly Yelling At Marlins For Leaving Dome Open With AC On

4/30/2018 - Pilot Shudders To Imagine Why Passengers Taking Red-Eye To Atlantic City

4/30/2018 - Report: Rest Of Pottery Class Knows Each Other From Previous Pottery Class

4/30/2018 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 30, 2018

4/28/2018 - Huckabee Sanders Cuts Loose During Correspondents’ Dinner With Raucous, Carefree Frown

4/27/2018 - Kendall Graveman Throws MLB's 214,937th Imperfect Game

4/27/2018 - Russian Lawyer Admits To Repeatedly Informing Kremlin Of Trump Campaign’s Ineptitude

4/27/2018 - Police Found Golden State Killer By Tracing Owner Of ‘IAmTheGoldenStateKiller.com’ Website

4/27/2018 - Stressed Lab Rat Breaking Out In Human Ears

4/27/2018 - Duke, Duchess Of Cambridge Announce Name Of Third Child Is Louis Arthur Al-Baghdadi

4/27/2018 - Kim Jong-Un Thrown Into Labor Camp For Attempting To Cross Border Into South Korea

4/27/2018 - Bill Cosby Convicted Of Sexual Assault

4/27/2018 - ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ By The Numbers

4/27/2018 - Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Announces New $17 Billion Initiative To Eradicate All 3rd-World Mac Users By 2040

4/27/2018 - Dominos Unveils Napkin-Stuffed Pizza Crust

4/27/2018 - Timeline Of The White House Correspondents’ Dinner

4/27/2018 - Deceased Souls Backed Up At River Styx Ferry Crossing During Underworld Transit Strike

4/27/2018 - Is Andrew Luck Fully Recovered From His Quadruple-Amputation Surgery?

4/27/2018 - Pence Unveils Campaign To Educate Teens About Dangers Of Premarital Eye Contact

4/27/2018 - Lyft Says It Will Make Every Ride Carbon Neutral

4/26/2018 - Roger Goodell Asks Fans To Hold Applause Until All Draft Picks Have Been Selected

4/26/2018 - Super Fan Attends Screening Of ‘Infinity War’ Dressed As Marvel’s VP Of Marketing

4/26/2018 - Dirty, Disheveled Scott Pruitt Confesses He Spent Last Of EPA Funding Weeks Ago

4/26/2018 - Bill Cosby Feeling Disoriented After Jury Slips Conviction Into His Verdict

4/26/2018 - Federal Judge Orders Trump To Accept DACA Applications

4/26/2018 - Tucker Carlson Unsure Why He In Middle Of 20-Minute Rant Against Croutons

4/26/2018 - The 10 Characters Most Likely To Die In ‘Avengers: Infinity War,’ According To Family Medical History

4/26/2018 - Nation Shocked Cop Facing Punishment For Murder

4/26/2018 - Should The Browns Use The First Overall Pick On A Once-In-A-Generation Long Snapper?

4/26/2018 - Jerry Jones Hoping To Use 2018 Draft To Find Long-Term Solution At Mistress

4/26/2018 - Millions Across Country Celebrate ‘Make A Kid At Work’ Day

4/26/2018 - Publicist Worried Kanye West’s Support Of Trump Will Damage His Carefully Crafted Public Image As A Manic Self-Absorbed Lunatic

4/26/2018 - Preying The Price

4/26/2018 - Bears GM Wavering Between Drafting Good Player Or Bad Player

4/26/2018 - Experts Warn Beef Could Act As Gateway Meat To Human Flesh

4/26/2018 - Nation’s Baby Boomers Hold Press Conference To Announce They All Have Diseases Now

4/26/2018 - National Debt To Rise To $29 Trillion By 2020

4/25/2018 - Taylor Swift Grateful Kanye West Controversy Taking Heat Off New Swastika Tattoo

4/25/2018 - Nation Suddenly Concerned About Black Man's Opinion

4/25/2018 - Trump Boys Beg Father To Nominate G.I. Joe Action Figure Cobra Commander For VA Secretary

4/25/2018 - ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ To Return With Season 2 Today

4/25/2018 - Trump Suffering Horrible Indigestion After Eating Fresh, Well-Prepared State Dinner Meal

4/25/2018 - Tom Brady Reveals That Humanity Will Perish Long Before He Retires

4/25/2018 - Report: Mothers Not Paying Attention To 80% Of Cool Things Nation’s Boys Do

4/25/2018 - Student Loans By The Numbers

4/25/2018 - Warden Figures Week In Solitary Ought To Teach Inmate Not To Be Schizophrenic

4/25/2018 - Report: Christ, Someone Actually Brought Their Kid To This

4/25/2018 - Last Person Born In 19th Century Dies

4/24/2018 - Spurs Defense Caught Off Guard By Flare Screen

4/24/2018 - Naked Eric Trump Runs Through State Dinner Pursued By Screaming Au Pair

4/24/2018 - Melania Trump Hosts State Dinner In Stunning Black Shroud Of Shrieking Crows

4/24/2018 - Stormy Daniels, James Comey Arrive At White House For State Dinner

4/24/2018 - Sean Hannity Linked To Shell Corporation That Spent $90 Million On Properties

4/24/2018 - Emmanuel Macron Amused By Little Differences In French, American Islamophobia

4/24/2018 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 24, 2018

4/24/2018 - Nation’s Drunk Strangers Announce Plans To Agree With Anything One Another Says

4/24/2018 - Dan Quayle On Standby To Take Over As Bush Family Patriarch After George H.W. Admitted To ICU

4/24/2018 - How FBI Investigations Work

4/24/2018 - It’s Shameful That We Continue To Pay College Athletes Nothing While The Whistle Industry Reaps Massive Profits From Their Labor

4/24/2018 - Swaziland Changes Name To eSwatini

4/24/2018 - Kobe Bryant Hits Editing Bay To Train In Defense Of This Year’s Oscar Win

4/23/2018 - Scott Pruitt Tosses Another PVC Tube On Campfire

4/23/2018 - Schumer Introduces Measure To Decriminalize Marijuana

4/23/2018 - Stressed-Out Sean Hannity Buys 12 Little Cabins In Maine To Get Away From It All

4/23/2018 - Report: New ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ Season Focuses On Dangers Of Feminism Run Amok

4/23/2018 - Newborn Prince Of Cambridge Begins Consolidating Power By Having Family Imprisoned In Tower Of London

4/23/2018 - Sean Hannity: ‘I Will Be Dispelling Any And All Factual Claims About Me During My Show’

4/23/2018 - Raccoon Crushed To Death By Garbage Truck Hits Jackpot With Reincarnation

4/23/2018 - Conversation At Other End Of Table Sounds Way More Interesting

4/23/2018 - ‘Nothing Is More Attractive Than Confidence,’ Says Woman Who Has Apparently Never Seen Sonic The Hedgehog Cosplay

4/23/2018 - Cuba Names New President To Succeed Raúl Castro

4/23/2018 - Local History Museum Really Digging Deep To Fill 2 15-By-20-Foot Rooms

4/23/2018 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 23, 2018

4/22/2018 - Spurs Skype In Kawhi Leonard For Game 4

4/20/2018 - Most Shocking Revelations Of The Comey Memos

4/20/2018 - North, South Korea In Talks To Announce End To 68-Year Korean War

4/20/2018 - ‘Politics Was Never This Toxic In The 2010s,’ Says Future American While Watching Candidates Battle In 2048 Debate Pits

4/20/2018 - DNC Files Lawsuit Alleging Nation Should Never, Ever Stop Focusing On 2016 Election

4/20/2018 - Long John Silver’s Customer Finds Deep-Fried Poseidon Head In Value Meal

4/20/2018 - ‘These Kids Should Be In School Instead Of Protesting,’ Say People So Tantalizingly Close To Getting The Point

4/20/2018 - Starbucks To Close 8,000 Stores For Racial Bias Training

4/20/2018 - Child At That Awkward Age Where No One Cares What He Thinks And He’s Constantly In The Way

4/20/2018 - Air Wick Introduces New Piss-Scented Bathroom Diffuser

4/20/2018 - Boss Wants To Know If You Can Work Late This Year

4/20/2018 - NASA Announces Plans To Place Giant Pair Of Shades On Sun

4/19/2018 - Puerto Rico Hit By Island-Wide Blackout

4/19/2018 - Golden Retriever Mauls 5 In Huge Victory For Pitbull Apologists

4/19/2018 - Report: Puerto Rico Situation Remains Dire Despite Months Of No Help Whatsoever

4/19/2018 - 5 Things To Know About Sean Hannity

4/19/2018 - Mike Pompeo Defects To North Korea After Learning About Kim Jong-Un’s Torture Program

4/19/2018 - Trash Bag Taped Over Broken Southwest Plane Window

4/19/2018 - Dad Ready To Forgive Dixie Chicks

4/19/2018 - Supreme Court Agrees To Hear New Jack White Album

4/19/2018 - L.A. Fitness Announces Plan To Close All Locations For 30-Minute, High-Intensity Diversity Training

4/19/2018 - Those Who Do Not Learn From History Are Doomed To Repeat The Renaissance

4/19/2018 - God Recalls Life-Changing Encounter With 8-Year-Old Boy Who Had Near-Death Experience

4/19/2018 - Tips For Traveling Solo

4/19/2018 - Mom Makes Sure Everyone Has Masturbated Before Long Car Ride

4/19/2018 - 200 Million Eggs Recalled In U.S. After Dozens Become Ill

4/19/2018 - Nation’s Liberals Not Sure What To Think After Hearing Special Counsel Has Waterboarded Every Suspect In Trump Investigation

4/18/2018 - Carmelo Anthony Struggles To Get Rhythm Back After Making Shot

4/18/2018 - Barbara Bush Dies At 92

4/18/2018 - Shy Balloon Spends Entire Party Floating In Back Corner Of Room By Itself

4/18/2018 - Congress Not Sure What It Did To Make Trump Think It Wouldn’t Roll Over For Whatever He Wants In Syria

4/18/2018 - Cottonelle Adds Blue Strip To Toilet Paper But Keeps What It Does A Secret

4/18/2018 - No Cash Left Behind

4/18/2018 - Impoverished Kenyan Bean Picker Can’t Wait To See What Starbucks Has To Say About Racial Sensitivity

4/18/2018 - Barbara Bush Passes Away Surrounded By Loved Ones, Jeb

4/18/2018 - TGI Fridays Is A Human Right

4/18/2018 - New Employee Doesn't Understand That's Where Zack Sits

4/18/2018 - New Law Requires Sex Offenders To Inform Residents Before Moving Into Their Homes

4/18/2018 - Kendrick Lamar Wins Historic Pulitzer Prize For ‘DAMN.’

4/18/2018 - Grandma Defiantly Taking Scone Recipe To Grave

4/17/2018 - Alex Jones Pleads With Sandy Hook Parents To Imagine Pain An Expensive Lawsuit Would Cause Him

4/17/2018 - Kendrick Lamar Becomes First Rapper To Win Pulitzer Prize For Editorial Cartooning

4/17/2018 - Comey Says Trump ‘Morally Unfit’ To Be President As Clash Escalates

4/17/2018 - Hannity Claims Relationship With Cohen Never Went Past Payment For Legal Advice, Defense Strategy In Criminal Cases

4/17/2018 - Mueller Combs Through Dozens Of Damning White House Emails He Was Accidentally CC’d On

4/17/2018 - Controversial Theory Suggests Aliens May Have Built Ancient Egypt’s Intergalactic Spaceport

4/17/2018 - Half-Empty Bottle Of Colt 45 Left On Church Steps Must Be Offering To God

4/17/2018 - Man Fears He May Never Trust Again After Treasured Picture Of Duck Turns Out To Be Rabbit 

4/17/2018 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 17, 2018

4/17/2018 - Men Fired In Wake Of #MeToo Come Forward About How It Took Them Several Hours To Find New Jobs

4/17/2018 - Biggest Revelations From James Comey’s New Book

4/17/2018 - Michael Jordan Attacks Softness, Lack Of Competitiveness In Modern Blackjack Players

4/17/2018 - Researchers Find New Malware Designed To Make ATMs Spit Out Cash

4/17/2018 - New Evidence Suggests First Gallows Created As Early Attempt At Autoerotic Asphyxiation

4/16/2018 - U.S. Won’t Rule Out Escalating Defense-Sector Profits From Syria Conflict

4/16/2018 - Americans File Returns For Tax Day

4/16/2018 - Comey Suddenly Realizes Entire Book Just A Subconscious Defense Mechanism To Hide His True Feelings

4/16/2018 - Ex-Boyfriend Hopes To Still Be Terrible, Incompatible Friends

4/16/2018 - Comey: ‘What Can I Say, I’m Just A Catty Bitch From New Jersey And I Live For Drama’

4/16/2018 - Report: It Time To Give Up

4/16/2018 - Cool Glitch Effect On Movie Studio Logo Must Mean Shit About To Go Down

4/16/2018 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 16, 2018

4/16/2018 - Woman Forced To Do Some Detective Work After Obituary For Dead Classmate Leaves Off Cause Of Death

4/16/2018 - Flower Freaking Out After Realizing There’s A Bee On It

4/16/2018 - Manager Of Combination Taco Bell/KFC Secretly Considers It Mostly A Taco Bell

4/16/2018 - New ‘Lord Of The Rings’ Book ‘The Fall Of Gondolin’ To Be Released This Year

4/13/2018 - Fleetwood Mac Fires Lindsey Buckingham

4/13/2018 - Astronomers Say Wednesday Night Will Be Best Chance For Americans To View ‘NOVΛ’

4/13/2018 - Cambridge Analytica Whistleblower Admits Last Few Weeks At Work Have Been Awkward

4/13/2018 - ‘Holy Shit, The Government Owes Me 50 Million Dollars,’ Reports Man Incorrectly Filling Out His Taxes

4/13/2018 - Nation Confused After James Comey Dedicates Entire Memoir To In-Depth Retelling Of Martha Stewart Insider Trading Controversy

4/13/2018 - Report: Dez Bryant Could Be Perfect Fit For NFL Team Lacking Locker-Room Cancer

4/13/2018 - Man Filming Childbirth Picks Up Some B-Roll Of Wife’s Vagina While Waiting For Baby To Crown

4/13/2018 - Report: You In The Way Of Billiards Game

4/13/2018 - Woman Spends Entire Date Wondering If This The One She’ll Mace

4/13/2018 - This Child Would Have Turned 6 Today If His Mother Hadn't Given Birth To Him In October

4/13/2018 - Dermatologists Recommend Regularly Checking Body For Screaming Demonic Face Bulging Out Of Skin

4/13/2018 - Scott Pruitt Defends Use Of 1st Armored Division For Trip To Dry-Cleaner

4/13/2018 - Upcoming ‘Game Of Thrones’ Battle Reportedly Took 55 Days To Shoot

4/12/2018 - Mike Pompeo Can’t Believe Senate Just Expects He’ll Answer Questions Without Being Tortured First

4/12/2018 - ‘Look, Just Tell Us Who To Kill,’ Snaps U.S. General As Trump Enters 20th Minute Of Rambling Answer On Syria

4/12/2018 - Bolton: ‘We Will Not Be Drawn Into A Lengthy Ground War In Syria—Although, Saying It Out Loud, That Sounds Incredible’

4/12/2018 - Most Anticipated Acts At Coachella 2018

4/12/2018 - Convulsing Teen Bleeding From Eyes, Nose Thinks He Can Feel The Synthetic Weed Kicking In

4/12/2018 - Aides Trying To Talk Trump Out Of Sending Associates To Break Into Watergate Office Complex 

4/12/2018 - Paul Ryan Will Not Seek Reelection

4/12/2018 - Trump Boys Announce They Will Not Hesitate To Egg Russia If Provoked

4/12/2018 - Nutritionists Recommend Increasing Intake Of Whatever Will Earn You Free T-Shirt From Restaurant

4/12/2018 - My Great-Grandfather Came To This Country With Nothing But $10 In His Pocket, $300,000 In His Bank Account, And A Dream

4/12/2018 - Supply Chain Migration

4/12/2018 - Tax Preparation Software Vs. Hiring An Accountant

4/12/2018 - Cellmate Tired Of Suge Knight’s Constant Stories Of ’90s Rap Beefs

4/12/2018 - Report: God Directly Communicating With You Through This Headline

4/12/2018 - T.J. Miller Arrested For Alleged Fake Bomb Threat

4/12/2018 - New UPS Extended-Tracking Numbers Give Customers Updates On Delivery Driver’s Location For Years After Package Drop-Off

4/11/2018 - FBI Raid On Trump’s Lawyer Sought Files Related To ‘Access Hollywood’ Tape

4/11/2018 - Onion Fact Checks Mark Zuckerberg's Senate Testimony

4/11/2018 - Entitled Deadbeat Finally Breaks Out Of 20-Year Cycle Of Government Dependency

4/11/2018 - Congress Reassures Nervous Zuckerberg They Won’t Actually Do Anything About This

4/11/2018 - Dozens Of Black-Rubber-Clad Masochists Line Up Outside Capitol For Paul Ryan's Job

4/11/2018 - Mark Zuckerberg Apologizes To Congress For Not Realizing Scope Of His Genius

4/11/2018 - Congress Demands To Know How Facebook Got People To Give Up Their Civil Liberties Without A Fight

4/11/2018 - Mark Zuckerberg Cited For Contempt Of Congress After Refusing To Shut The Fuck Up About How He Started Company In Dorm Room

4/11/2018 - TempuraPedic Unveils New Line Of Extra-Crispy, Deep-Fried Mattresses

4/11/2018 - Man With Backed-Up Shower Drain Enjoys Luxurious Foot Soak

4/11/2018 - Serial Killer Annoyed By Young Murderers With No Appreciation For Albert Fish

4/11/2018 - Russian Woman Embalmed Alive After Hospital Mix-Up

4/11/2018 - Report: PyeongChang Olympic Athletes Already Falling Into State Of Disrepair

4/11/2018 - Masturbating Mom Can’t Get Bobby Flay Southwestern Eggs Demo To Stop Buffering

4/10/2018 - Nation Feels First, Only Pang Of Sympathy For Zuckerberg After Watching Him Engage With Ted Cruz

4/10/2018 - Zuckerberg Wishes Old People Would Stop Commenting On Facebook

4/10/2018 - Mark Zuckerberg To Congress: ‘It Was My Mistake, And I'm Sorry’

4/10/2018 - 5 Things To Know About John Bolton

4/10/2018 - Blood Drains From Mueller’s Face After Realizing Russia Investigation Might Go All The Way To White House

4/10/2018 - FBI Raids Michael Cohen’s Office To Get Closer Look At His Innovative, Thorough Legal Work

4/10/2018 - John Bolton Arrives In Office Excited To See So Many Familiar Wars

4/10/2018 - Mike Pence Horrified By D.C. Cherry Trees Flagrantly Displaying Reproductive Organs

4/10/2018 - Facebook Employees Explain Daily Struggle Of Trying To Care About Company's Unethical Practices When Gig So Cushy

4/10/2018 - Party Host Horrified To Discover Guests Have Been Drying Hands On Bath Towel This Whole Time

4/10/2018 - Cyberattacks By The Numbers

4/10/2018 - Parents Spend First 4 Years Of Child’s Life Fluctuating Wildly Between Hoping Child Stays Asleep, Hoping Child Wakes Up

4/10/2018 - Entomologists Retract New Spider Species Discovery After Determining It Actually Just Clump Of Dust, Hair

4/10/2018 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 10, 2018

4/10/2018 - Giant Pandas No Longer Endangered Species

4/10/2018 - ‘You Are Donald Trump, 45th President Of The United States,’ Trump Reads From Faded Tattoo On Wrist

4/9/2018 - North Korea Ready To Discuss Denuclearization, Officials Say

4/9/2018 - Annoyed Shohei Ohtani Had Hoped U.S. Baseball Players Wouldn’t Be This Bad

4/9/2018 - Facebook Informs Data Leak Victims Whether They Need To Burn Down House, Cut Off Fingerprints, Start Anew

4/9/2018 - Woman Has Drawn-On Eyebrows, Nose, Eyes, Mouth

4/9/2018 - Fans Excited As ‘Solo’ Trailer Sheds Light On Specifically How It Will Suck

4/9/2018 - Soybean Pissed After Learning Trade War Means Trip To China Canceled

4/9/2018 - Oat Farmer Seriously Thinking About Getting Into Barley

4/9/2018 - Unstable Couple Playing With Fire By Organizing Game Night

4/9/2018 - College Equestrian Clearly Coming To Class Straight From Practice

4/9/2018 - Aging Father Struggling To Keep Family’s Personal Failings Straight

4/9/2018 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 9, 2018

4/9/2018 - New Honda Commercial Openly Says Your Kids Will Die In A Car Crash If You Buy A Different Brand

4/9/2018 - Hotel Forgives Guest After Flock Of Seagulls Destroyed Room In 2001

4/6/2018 - ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ Celebrates 50th Anniversary

4/6/2018 - PGA Officials Break Up Crowd Of Rowdy Fans Committing Commodities Fraud In Augusta National Parking Lot

4/6/2018 - Kobe Bryant Creates Foundation To Help Children Struggling With Severe Narcissism

4/6/2018 - Study Finds Eating Doctor After Birth Can Provide Essential Nutrients To New Mothers

4/6/2018 - KitchenAid Unveils Spring-Loaded Toaster That Allows Rad High Schoolers To Grab Breakfast In Midair While Leaving House

4/6/2018 - Kid Putting Pencils Between Knuckles About To Fuck Someone Up

4/6/2018 - Exercising Woman Really Starting To Feel The Burn Of Lifelong Injury Developing

4/6/2018 - Retired Pope Benedict Pledges To Donate Soul For Ecclesiastic Research

4/6/2018 - You Can Hold Snake, Owner Reports

4/6/2018 - U.S. Marshals Arrest Designers Of Water Slide That Decapitated Rider

4/5/2018 - Jack Nicholson Banned From Sitting Courtside After Spilling Tupperware Full Of Homemade Chili

4/5/2018 - Mueller Tells Trump He’s Not Under Criminal Investigation

4/5/2018 - Black Father Gives Son The Talk About Holding Literally Any Object

4/5/2018 - Report: This Not A Gun

4/5/2018 - Cows Go Extinct

4/5/2018 - Does The Younger Generation Of Call Girls Respect Tiger Woods?

4/5/2018 - Fuming Rachel Maddow Spends Entire Show Just Pointing Wildly At Picture Of Putin

4/5/2018 - ICE Agents Feeling A Little Hurt That Trump Doesn’t Think They’re Doing Enough To Terrorize Hispanics

4/5/2018 - Who Has The Best Dick In Baseball?

4/5/2018 - How Trade Wars Work

4/5/2018 - Gynecologists Recommend Taking Time Off Between IUDs To Allow Body To Expel Backlogged Periods

4/5/2018 - Study Reveals 93% Of Americans Don’t Know Their Congressperson Truly, Utterly, The Way Only Two Souls Entwined Can

4/5/2018 - A’s Unveil Groundbreaking New Tarp Renovation For Oakland Coliseum

4/5/2018 - Japanese TV Station Launches First-Ever Android News Anchor

4/5/2018 - Woman Who Choked To Death Alone In Apartment Kicked Out Of Book Club For Missing Last 2 Meetings

4/4/2018 - Reddit Announces Redesign

4/4/2018 - MLK’s Family Urges Nation To Spend Anniversary Of His Death Twisting His Words To Fit Own Political Agendas

4/4/2018 - Authorities Fear YouTube Shooter Might Inspire Wave Of Copycat Content Creators

4/4/2018 - ‘Roseanne’ Taping Repeatedly Interrupted By Reporters Trying To Interview Members Of White Working Class

4/4/2018 - Bum Steer

4/4/2018 - Archivists Discover Unpublished Michael Crichton Manuscript About Amusement Park That Operates Without A Hitch

4/4/2018 - Yankees Eliminate Longstanding ‘No Pubic Hair’ Policy

4/4/2018 - Depressed Businessman Takes 16 Power Naps A Day

4/4/2018 - 25-Year-Old Moving Into Comfortable, Rent-Free Arrangement In Parents’ Home Worried He’s Hit Rock Bottom

4/4/2018 - Family Has Way Too Many Daughters For Them Not To Have Been Trying For Son

4/4/2018 - Key To Living Longer May Be Severe Calorie Reduction

4/4/2018 - I’m Sort Of The Abusive Mom Of My Friend Group

4/4/2018 - New ‘Cut Off Your Genitals’ Challenge Gains Popularity Among Teens Online

4/3/2018 - Sinclair Forces Dozens Of Local News Anchors To Recite Same Script

4/3/2018 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 3, 2018

4/3/2018 - Oklahoma Leaders Claim Teachers’ Strike Betrays Values Of Nation’s 1914 Founding By Abraham Lincoln And Orville Redenbacher

4/3/2018 - Sister Jean Wheeled Back Into Rectory Closet Until Next Season

4/3/2018 - Alcohol Goes Right Back To Abuser Every Time

4/3/2018 - Recently Discovered 13,000-Year-Old Footprints Reveal Humans Danced The Charleston Earlier Than First Thought

4/3/2018 - Pros And Cons Of Standing Desks

4/3/2018 - New Poll Finds Public Becoming More Skeptical Of Profit-Driven Corporate Data Mine Powered By Human Misery

4/3/2018 - Are You Really Just Going To Lie There?

4/3/2018 - Woman Knows Exactly Which Knife She’d Grab Out Of Cutlery Drawer In Event Of Home Invasion

4/3/2018 - Author Says Kellyanne Conway Is ‘Number One Leaker’ In White House

4/3/2018 - Study: Coffee Drinkers At Far Higher Risk Of Having Mug Crash To Floor In Slow Motion After Hearing Their Father Is Dead

4/2/2018 - Pope Calls For World Peace During Easter Mass

4/2/2018 - Man In Political Argument Clearly Just Regurgitating Monologue From ‘Henry V’

4/2/2018 - Teen On Birthright Trip Hadn’t Expected To See So Many Dead Palestinians

4/2/2018 - Census Bureau Releases Annual Report On Neighborhood Vibes

4/2/2018 - 18-To-35 White, Male Demographic Still Searching For Perfect Way To Quench Its Thirst

4/2/2018 - Bill Cosby Feeling Better About Retrial Now That Climate Around Sexual Assault Has Cooled Down

4/2/2018 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 2, 2018

4/2/2018 - ‘I’m Not Really Looking To Date Right Now,’ Says Man, As If He Not At Mercy Of Love’s Powerful, Mysterious Ways

4/2/2018 - God Starting To Worry Heaven May Be Haunted

4/2/2018 - Adnan Syed Of ‘Serial’ Given New Trial