Sitemap
2019 April
4/30/2019 - Experts Praise Upcoming ‘Sonic’ Movie For Accurate Depiction Of Hedgehogs
4/30/2019 - Walgreens Unveils New Line Of Shrink-Wrapped Sandwiches To Grab When Something Has Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong
4/30/2019 - ISIS Releases Video Of Leader Al-Baghdadi
4/30/2019 - James Harden: ‘I Just Want A Fair Shot Where I Can Get A Foul Called On Every Play’
4/30/2019 - Unbeatable ‘Jeopardy!’ Champ Says Key To Success Is Threatening Other Contestants With Nail-Studded Baseball Bat During Commercials
4/30/2019 - Wild-Eyed Marco Rubio Embarks In Rowboat To Help Venezuela Coup Effort
4/30/2019 - A Guide To The Best Weapons In ‘FIFA 19’
4/30/2019 - Kobe Bryant Confident He Could Still Berate Teammates For 20 Minutes A Night
4/30/2019 - ‘Fortnite’ Players Up In Arms Over New Map Addition After Discovering Its Deli Counter Only Features 2 Types Of Salami
4/30/2019 - Taylor Swift Debuts New Single
4/30/2019 - Dipshit Toddler Waving At Wall
4/30/2019 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 30, 2019
4/29/2019 - Trump Resigns From Presidents Local 150 In Protest Of Unions
4/29/2019 - ‘Avengers: Endgame’ Shatters Box Office Records
4/29/2019 - Shitty Region Of Country Figures It Might As Well Give Producing Wine A Shot
4/29/2019 - Enes Kanter Grateful To Escape From Oppressive, Failing Dictatorship In New York
4/29/2019 - ‘New York Times’ Apologizes For Running Anti-Semitic Comic Strip ‘Shylock The Shyster’ For Past 37 Years
4/29/2019 - ‘Game Of Thrones’ Actors Reveal Reading Script For Zombie Battle And Realizing They Wasted Careers
4/29/2019 - Hollywood Analysts Still Not Sure How ‘Saving Silverman’ Broke Box Office Records Last Weekend
4/29/2019 - We Interview Shigeru Miyamoto About How Watching A Giant Ape Beat His Father To Death With A Barrel Inspired ‘Donkey Kong’
4/29/2019 - Elderly Mother At That Age Where Even Just One Fall Over Niagara Could Be Fatal
4/29/2019 - Preview: ‘The Last Of Us Part II’ Will Explore Ellie’s Character Growth As She Focuses On Self-Care By Hiking And Taking A Pottery Class After Realizing She Can’t Control The Infected Around Her
4/29/2019 - After Decades As A Print-Only Publication, Onion Gamers Network Has Decided That The Internet Is The Future Of Video Game Journalism
4/29/2019 - Melting Permafrost To Have $70 Trillion Impact, Study Finds
4/29/2019 - Pornstar Has Face Only Stepmother Could Love
4/29/2019 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 29, 2019
4/26/2019 - Panic Rapidly Setting In As Man Realizes He Has No Plan For Ripe Avocado
4/26/2019 - Measles Roars Back At Record Pace
4/26/2019 - Facebook Users Morbidly Curious What Site Going To Do With Their Personal Data To Recoup $5 Billion Fine
4/26/2019 - Prison Returns Bag Of Semi-Automatic Guns, Hit List To Coast Guard Terror Suspect At Release
4/26/2019 - Coast Guard Terror Suspect Released After Cell Needed For Nonviolent Drug User
4/26/2019 - David Bernhardt Denies Business Interests Influenced Yellowstone’s Name Change To Frito Lay Presents Doritos Flamin’ Hot Nacho National Park
4/26/2019 - Denver Nuggets Worried They Screwed Up Attempt To Tank For Zion Williamson
4/26/2019 - Bee Practically Blows Its Load After Seeing Purple Coneflower In Full Bloom
4/26/2019 - Elderly Man Feeling Useless In Retirement Wishes He Could Go Back To Feeling Useless At Work
4/26/2019 - Tips For The Perfect Picnic
4/26/2019 - Field Museum Officials Announce Long-Awaited Pregnancy Of Prized T-Rex
4/26/2019 - FAA Gives Google Approval For Delivery Drone Flights
4/25/2019 - ‘If You Cross Me I Will End You,’ Goodell Whispers Into Ear Of Every Draft Pick
4/25/2019 - Jon Gruden Rips Up List Of Top Prospects And Drafts From The Heart
4/25/2019 - Browns Draft First Overall Out Of Habit
4/25/2019 - Easy-Going Mel Kiper Predicts Teams Will Do Whatever They Feel Is Right And We Shouldn’t Judge Them
4/25/2019 - Racine Legion To Select Second Overall In NFL Draft Using Pick Acquired In 1923
4/25/2019 - Tesla Posts Massive First Quarter Loss After Self-Driving Car Absconds With $702 Million In Cash
4/25/2019 - Man Always Sleeps With Bat Beside Bed Just In Case Any Major League Pitchers Try To Break In
4/25/2019 - Samsung Recalls All Galaxy Fold Phones After Cracked Screens
4/25/2019 - Local Teen Invents Masturbation
4/25/2019 - Sanders Supporters Viciously Attack Bernie Sanders After He Criticizes Mistakes Of 2016 Sanders Campaign
4/25/2019 - Weird Birthday Boy Blowing Out Candles Wishes For John Hickenlooper To Win Democratic Primary
4/25/2019 - Winter Is Shortcoming
4/25/2019 - CDC Warns Once-Eradicated Jitterbug Spreading Across Country At Rate Not Seen Since 1940s
4/25/2019 - I Will Personally Destroy The Chances Of Any 2020 Candidate Who Doesn’t Get Their Picture Taken Eating At Culver’s
4/25/2019 - FDA Approves First Device To Treat ADHD In Children
4/25/2019 - Airport Only Place In Metro Area To Buy City’s Signature Food
4/25/2019 - How Brexit Uncertainty Is Affecting UK Residents
4/24/2019 - Democrats Call For Trump Impeachment
4/24/2019 - John Boehner Beheads Juarez Cartel Member Who Dared Muscle In On His Legal Weed Turf
4/24/2019 - Diplomatic Pete Buttigieg Quickly Changes Subject From Politics At Town Hall To Avoid Arguments
4/24/2019 - Retired Marshawn Lynch Goes Into Yeast Mode While Baking
4/24/2019 - Self-Conscious Man Clearly The Only One In Japanese Restaurant Unsure How To Use Water Glass
4/24/2019 - Environmentalists Warn Swedish Fish Population Being Decimated By Great Pacific Sour Patch
4/24/2019 - Pros And Cons Of Sanctuary Cities
4/24/2019 - Woman Could Listen To British Guy Scream For Help All Day
4/24/2019 - Herman Cain Withdraws From Fed Consideration
4/24/2019 - CIA Finds Definitive Evidence Of Second Shooter In JFK Assassination
4/23/2019 - Horrified Authorities Discover One-Day-Old Funnel Cake Abandoned In Dumpster
4/23/2019 - Trump Sues House Democrat To Block Release Of Tax Returns
4/23/2019 - Jared Kushner Claims That Russian Interference Less Damaging To U.S. Democracy Than Saudi Arabia, Nepotism, Israel, Cambridge Analytica, UAE, Illicit Donations, Erik Prince, Bill Barr, And Financial Entanglements
4/23/2019 - Boss Encourages Employees To Take Short Mental Breakdowns For Every Hour Of Work
4/23/2019 - Town Hall Audience Gives Amy Klobuchar Standing Ovation As She Lifts Chris Cuomo Up By Throat
4/23/2019 - Pete Buttigieg Releases Comprehensive List Of Fun Personality Quirks To Include In Articles About Him
4/23/2019 - Dedicated Russell Westbrook Stays Late After Practice To Miss 100 Extra Shots
4/23/2019 - Man Wearing Cobra Command Shirt Missed The Whole Point Of ‘G.I. Joe’
4/23/2019 - 5 Things To Know About ‘Avengers: Endgame’
4/23/2019 - Unclear If Store Called ‘Casa Spazio’ Sells Leather Sofas Or Pizzas
4/23/2019 - Baby T. Rex Fossil Selling On eBay
4/23/2019 - Random Uncle’s Wife Crying A Bunch Throughout Grandma’s Funeral
4/23/2019 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 23, 2019
4/22/2019 - Line Item On Aetna Insurance Bill Just ‘Paying For CEO’s Yacht’
4/22/2019 - Border Patrol Authorities, Militia In Tense Standoff Over Claim To Detain Migrant Family They Caught At Same Time
4/22/2019 - 9-Foot-Tall Bernie Sanders Greets Supporters After Session With Posture Coach
4/22/2019 - Senate Considering Bill To Raise Smoking Age To 21
4/22/2019 - Panicked Man Completely Out Of Things To Talk About 5 Minutes Into Marriage
4/22/2019 - Emmanuel Macron Not Sure How To Tell Billionaires Notre Dame Repair Only Costs $200
4/22/2019 - Depressed Gallup Director Issues Poll Asking Whether Anyone Would Care Whether He Lives Or Dies
4/22/2019 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 22, 2019
4/22/2019 - Woman Jealous Of Horse’s Eyelashes
4/22/2019 - Computer Scientists Say AI’s Underdeveloped Ethics Have Yet To Move Beyond Libertarian Phase
4/20/2019 - 84% Support Marijuana Legalization
4/20/2019 - ‘The Onion’ Endorses Legal Marijuana
4/20/2019 - Glossary Of Terms
4/19/2019 - Mueller Report Released
4/19/2019 - Biggest Revelations From The Mueller Report
4/19/2019 - Unemployed Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Announce Plans To Give Baby Up For Adoption
4/19/2019 - Defiant Sarah Huckabee Sanders Claims She Doesn’t Know Where Voice Comes From When She Opens Mouth
4/19/2019 - Nation Spooked After Running Into Creepy Old Night Watchman
4/19/2019 - Tips For Taking Care Of Houseplants
4/19/2019 - Venmo Rolls Out Feature Allowing Users To Send Goons To Collect Payment
4/19/2019 - China Discontinues State Surveillance Program After Finally Finding Guy Who Drove Into Xi Jinping’s Mailbox
4/19/2019 - Tracking Trump Administration Turnover
4/19/2019 - Peeps Unveils New Boneless, Skinless Marshmallow Breasts
4/19/2019 - French President Pledges To Rebuild Notre Dame In 5 Years
4/19/2019 - Stephen Miller Palms ICE Agent $50 Bill In Exchange For A Little Alone Time With Detained Migrants
4/18/2019 - ‘Boating World Magazine’ Giving Live Updates As Its Team Of Reporters Reads All Of Mueller Report
4/18/2019 - The Onion’s Legal Analysts Have Completed Their Official Count Of How Many Pages Are In The Mueller Report
4/18/2019 - Neutrogena Calls For Worldwide Cleansing In Effort To Attain Facial Purity
4/18/2019 - Beyoncé Releases Surprise Live Album
4/18/2019 - Report: You’re Far Too Dumb To Be Reading The Mueller Report Yourself
4/18/2019 - North Korea Tests Out New Knife In Smaller Escalation Of Threats To U.S.
4/18/2019 - ‘Mayor Pete’ Buttigieg Joins 2020 Race
4/18/2019 - Barr Releases Catatonic Mueller After Removing All Sensitive Material From Special Counsel’s Brain
4/18/2019 - Dressing Room Curtain Tested For Vulnerabilities
4/18/2019 - Report: There An Adult Superstore Off Exit 16
4/17/2019 - Sony Reveals First PlayStation 5 Details
4/17/2019 - Steve Kerr Reminds Warriors To Seem Sad DeMarcus Cousins Injured
4/17/2019 - Beyond Meat Researchers Announce Creation Of Fully Conscious, Plant-Based Veal Calf
4/17/2019 - Pete Buttigieg Stuns Campaign Crowd By Speaking To Manufacturing Robots In Fluent Binary
4/17/2019 - Fenta-
Nil
4/17/2019 - Investigators Trace Cause Of Notre Dame Fire To Cathedral’s Outdated 12th-Century Electrical System
4/17/2019 - Sony Scores Big Win For PlayStation 5 After Poaching Yoshi From Nintendo With 10-Year $400 Million Contract
4/17/2019 - ‘Game Of Thrones’ Season 8 Premieres
4/17/2019 - Lazy Minor League Promotion Just ‘Baseball Night At The Stadium’
4/17/2019 - Cinnabon Defends $800 Million Contract To Manufacture Pastries For Saudi Arabia
4/17/2019 - Game Boy Turns 30
4/17/2019 - Paul Manafort Starts New Job Lobbying Prison Guards On Behalf Of Aryan Brotherhood
4/17/2019 - Light Beer Healthiest Food Option At Stadium
4/16/2019 - Soaring Gas Prices Forcing More Americans To Drink Less Gas
4/16/2019 - Tips For Playing ‘Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice’
4/16/2019 - Tiger Woods Wins 5th Masters Title
4/16/2019 - Paris Vows To Rebuild Notre Dame Despite Cosmic Absurdity Of Seeking Inherent Meaning In Fleeting Creations Of Man
4/16/2019 - Breaking: Mom Dropped Like 80 Bucks On Some Necklace With An Owl On It At The Art Fair
4/16/2019 - Notre Dame Gargoyle Going To Stay As Still As Possible Until Arson Investigator Gone
4/16/2019 - Friend Has Some Jerky In Clear, Unlabeled Bag For You To Try
4/16/2019 - Unpacking The Bowl
4/16/2019 - Priest Cursed With Incredible Penis
4/16/2019 - 5 Things To Know About ‘The Man Who Killed Don Quixote’
4/16/2019 - Porn Video With Unfamiliar Acronym In Title Deemed Too Risky To Click On
4/16/2019 - ‘Star Wars IX’ Trailer Released
4/16/2019 - Suspicious New WikiLeaks Document Dump Exposes How Awesome And Trustworthy U.S. Government Is
4/16/2019 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 16, 2019
4/15/2019 - Jesus Christ Pushes Past Firefighter Into Burning Notre Dame To Save Beloved Relic
4/15/2019 - ‘Us Weekly’ Wins Pulitzer For Outstanding Achievement In Photoshopping A Rip Between Divorced Celebrity Couple
4/15/2019 - Trump Considering Releasing Detainees In Sanctuary Cities
4/15/2019 - Child Promised He Can Go Right Back To Video Game After Giving Dying Grandfather One Last Hug
4/15/2019 - Ilhan Omar Disrespectfully Refers To America As ‘A Place’
4/15/2019 - Crestfallen ‘Game Of Thrones’ Fans Starting To Realize Series Never Going To Show Dragons Fucking
4/15/2019 - Dog A Pervert In Ways Owner Will Never Know
4/15/2019 - The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 15, 2019
4/15/2019 - Neighbor Oblivious To Fact She Being Groomed For Cat-Sitting
4/15/2019 - A Timeline Of Marijuana
4/15/2019 - The Science Of Cannabis
4/14/2019 - Cannabis In America
4/13/2019 - Julian Assange Arrested In London
4/13/2019 - The Future Of Marijuana In America
4/12/2019 - Lockheed Martin Executive Fondly Recalls Humble Beginning Dealing Arms Out Of Back Of Chrysler LeBaron
4/12/2019 - Nation Admits They Only Care About Freedom Of Speech For Imparting Information About ‘Star Wars’ Shit
4/12/2019 - Experts Warn Prosecuting Assange Creates Slippery Slope To Where We Already Are
4/12/2019 - Kid About To Meet Brooklyn Nets Must Not Be Very Sick
4/12/2019 - Media Condemns Julian Assange For Reckless Exposure Of How They Could Be Spending Their Time
4/12/2019 - Duke Anthropology Professor Devastated To Learn Promising Student Dropping Out
4/12/2019 - Frustrated Writer Tosses Another Crumpled-Up Laptop In Trash Can
4/12/2019 - Benefits Of Open Office Not Extended To CEO
4/12/2019 - William Barr Agrees To Release Nonverbal, Abstract Visual Representation Of Mueller Report
4/12/2019 - 5 Things To Know About BTS
4/12/2019 - Judge Sentences Lori Loughlin To 100 Hours Of Community Theater
4/12/2019 - Mueller Report To Be Released Next Week, AG Says
4/12/2019 - New Report Finds Amazon May Be Listening To You Through Hardcover Copies Of Michelle Obama’s ‘Becoming’
4/12/2019 - Plant-Based Meat Vs. Lab-Grown Meat
4/12/2019 - Christian Bale Loses 40 Years For Upcoming Movie Role
4/11/2019 - First Image Of Black Hole Released
4/11/2019 - Ecuadorian Embassy Runs Ad Seeking ‘No Drama’ Tenant For Newly Vacant Room
4/11/2019 - Lightning Bolt Blasts Washington Monument As Mike Pence, Pete Buttigieg Locked In Battle Of Prayers On National Mall
4/11/2019 - Tangled, Pulsing Mass Of Visors, Polos, And Khaki Shorts Lurches Over Hill To Next Masters Hole
4/11/2019 - Cackling Julian Assange Disintegrates Into Lines Of Code As Baffled Authorities Attempt To Handcuff Him
4/11/2019 - Rob Gronkowski Informs Patriots He’s Considering Retirement
4/11/2019 - Bird Reflects On Frailty, Impermanence Of Life After Finding Dead Human On Sidewalk
4/11/2019 - 5 Biggest Unanswered Questions For ‘Game Of Thrones’ Final Season
4/11/2019 - Mario Batali Reduced To Selling Bowl Of Ravioli On Craigslist
4/11/2019 - Burger King Releases Meatless ‘Impossible Whopper’
4/11/2019 - Lonzo Ball Chooses CAA To Represent Him As Father
4/11/2019 - NRA Criticizes Video Game Makers For Downplaying Portrayal Of Euphoric Rush Felt Watching Light Leave Enemy’s Eyes
4/10/2019 - New York City Declares Emergency Over Measles Outbreak
4/10/2019 - Majority Of Americans Voice Support For Bernie Sanders After Learning He’s A Millionaire
4/10/2019 - Steve Ballmer Rewards Playoff-Bound Clippers With Complimentary Microsoft Office Upgrades
4/10/2019 - Family Of Congressman Glad He Finally Found Outlet For His Racism
4/10/2019 - Big Tech Companies With Government Contracts
4/10/2019 - UN Unveils Design For Floating City For 10,000 People
4/10/2019 - Bryce Harper Informs Phillies GM Of 2-Week Vacation In August He’d Planned Before Getting Job
4/9/2019 - Complete Psychopath Meets Proper Screen Time, Sleep, Exercise Guidelines
4/9/2019 - Methane Found On Mars
4/9/2019 - Report: Most Americans Have Fewer Than 5 Hobbies Saved For Retirement
4/9/2019 - Dwyane Wade Insists He Better Than Paul Pierce At Defending Knife Attacks
4/9/2019 - Conor McGregor Running Courthouse Steps In Garbage Bag To Make Weight For Pre-Arraignment
4/9/2019 - Devin Nunes Files Lawsuit Against Parents For Derailing Russia Investigation By Giving Birth To Total Dud
4/9/2019 - How To Contest A Big Medical Bill
4/9/2019 - Netanyahu Vows To Clog The Rivers With Skulls Of His Enemies In Last-Minute Push To Win Over Undecided Voters
4/9/2019 - ‘New York Times’ Announces New Columnist Will Contribute Nothing To Society 3 Times A Week
4/9/2019 - Let’s Hear It For The Buoyant
4/9/2019 - Confused Zoo Officials Awkwardly Celebrate After Endangered Panda Gives Birth To Healthy Northern White Rhino
4/9/2019 - Astronaut Piloting Cargo Ship Leaves Note On Side Of ISS After Accidentally Knocking Off Solar Array
4/9/2019 - Cats Can Recognize Their Own Names, Study Finds
4/9/2019 - Activists Petition Cupcake Kingdom To Address Adorable Housing Crisis
4/9/2019 - Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 9, 2019
4/8/2019 - Trump Vows Extensive Search To Find New DHS Director With Ideal Personality Disorders
4/8/2019 - Kirstjen Nielsen Reminds Herself She A Private Citizen Now After Instinctively Detaining Mexican Child On The Street
4/8/2019 - Telemundo Continues Winning Streak With Incomparable Lineup Of High-Quality Scripted Programs, Award-Winning Journalism
4/8/2019 - E-Cigarette Users Reporting Having Seizures To FDA
4/8/2019 - Homeland Security Criticized For Allowing Known Killer To Stay In Country
4/8/2019 - ISIS Adds Few Violent White Supremacists In Bid To Get U.S. To Rescind Terrorist Designation
4/8/2019 - New Era Introduces New Spiked Baseball Caps To Keep Pigeons From Landing On Players’ Heads
4/8/2019 - Study Finds They Just Don’t Make ’Em Like Ginger Rogers Anymore
4/8/2019 - Trump Expected To Name Herman Cain To Fed Board
4/8/2019 - Aunt Somehow Got Married, Divorced Twice Since Last Time Nephew Saw Her
4/6/2019 - Tom Izzo Calls 2019 Spartans Best Team He’s Ever Threatened With Violence
4/5/2019 - Shocked ‘Our Planet’ Viewers Watch As David Attenborough Enters Scene To Break Neck Of Starving Polar Bear
4/5/2019 - MacKenzie Bezos Gains Huge Win In Divorce Settlement After Successfully Retaining No Stake In ‘Washington Post’
4/5/2019 - House Democrats Formally Request Trump’s Tax Returns
4/5/2019 - Despondent Jeff Bezos Realizes He’ll Have To Work For 9 Seconds To Earn Back Money He Lost In Divorce
4/5/2019 - Family Respects Grandmother’s Wishes To Have Open-Bloused Funeral
4/5/2019 - Doctor Informs Woman He’s Overweight
4/5/2019 - Paramount Executive Snaps Up Script That Begins With Studio Logo Fading Into Establishing Shot Of Actual Mountain
4/5/2019 - ‘The Last Of Us 2’ To Be Released In 2019
4/5/2019 - New ‘Game Of Thrones’ Trailer Provides Sneak Peek At Show’s Climactic All-Cast Dance Number
4/5/2019 - 5 Things To Know About ‘Our Planet’
4/4/2019 - Was LeBron Too Hard On His Laker Teammates When He Called Them A ‘Bunch Of Dumbass Shitheads Who Should Quit Basketball’?
4/4/2019 - Mama Duck Doesn’t Recall Asking For Injured Baby To Be Rescued From Road
4/4/2019 - Dozens Of Panicked Mar-A-Lago Guests Crowd Front Desk To Check Out After FBI Agents Spotted At Hotel
4/4/2019 - Trump Pushes Health Care Reform Until After 2020
4/4/2019 - White House Says Mueller Report Must Be Kept Private Because It’s So Exonerating It Would Drive Public Mad
4/4/2019 - Hare Krishnas: ‘Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare’
4/4/2019 - Mar-A-Lago Staff Apologizes For Letting In Guest They Just Assumed Was High-Powered Lobbyist Trying To Buy Influence
4/4/2019 - Presidential Pardons In History
4/4/2019 - Rolex Unveils New Diving Cuckoo Clock Capable Of Working Up To 3,000 Meters Underwater
4/4/2019 - Getting Arm Squeezed By Walgreens Blood Pressure Machine Most Physical Contact Man Has Had In Months
4/4/2019 - Esports Star Suspected Of Using PEDs
4/4/2019 - The Onion Reviews ‘Pet Sematary’
4/4/2019 - Japan Announces Name Of New Era
4/3/2019 - Tourist In White House Gift Shop Browses Rack Of Security Clearances
4/3/2019 - Chicken’s Eyes Catch First-Ever Glint Of Sunlight Through Crack In Warehouse Ceiling Just Before Head Sliced Off
4/3/2019 - ‘What’s All This I’m Hearing About People Getting Security Clearances?’ Asks Confused Mike Pompeo To White House Staff Avoiding Eye Contact
4/3/2019 - New ‘Joker’ Trailer Introduces Iconic Villain To Same Generation Of Fans
4/3/2019 - Pros And Cons Of Making Birth Control Available Over The Counter
4/3/2019 - Avocados May Run Out If U.S.–Mexico Border Closed
4/3/2019 - Proud Business Owner Tapes First Customer To Wall
4/3/2019 - New Trump Proposal Could Strip 750,000 Of Food Stamps
4/2/2019 - Tucker Carlson Challenges Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez To A Date
4/2/2019 - Glowing, Cackling McConnell Levitates Above Senate After Realizing Chamber’s Rules Only Self-Imposed Mental Construct
4/2/2019 - Santa Anita Racetrack Officials Award First Place To Jockey Who Dragged Dead Horse 30 Yards Over Finish Line
4/2/2019 - Increasingly Cocky Bernie Sanders Announces He Won’t Take Donations Over 27 Cents
4/2/2019 - White House Reversing Security Clearance Denials
4/2/2019 - Scientists Announce Discovery Of Dry Ice On Mars Means Planet May One Day Be Suitable For Halloween Party
4/2/2019 - 5 Things To Know About ‘Shazam’
4/2/2019 - Chicken Tinders
4/2/2019 - Woman Buys Lingerie To Spice Up Bottom Of Underwear Drawer
4/2/2019 - Top Reasons To Consider A Road Trip For Your Next Family Vacation
4/1/2019 - Report: Keep Reading And Nobody Gets Hurt
4/1/2019 - Breaking: Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, This Got Out Of Hand
4/1/2019 - Report: You’re Gonna Read This Page Right Fucking Now Or It’ll Be The Last Goddamn Thing You Ever Do
4/1/2019 - Report: It Would Be A Real Shame If Something Were To Happen To You
4/1/2019 - Report: Keep Reading And Nobody Gets Hurt
4/1/2019 - Brett Kavanaugh Reiterates Cruel And Unusual Punishment What Makes Someone A True Kappa
4/1/2019 - Mueller Kinda Miffed That Barr Clearly Didn’t Read His Stuff Like He Said He Would
4/1/2019 - China Bans All Types Of Fentanyl
4/1/2019 - Purdue Pharma Reports Opioid Deaths Falling Short Of Quarterly Goals
4/1/2019 - Report Reveals Jesus Christ May Have Benefited From Father’s Influential Position To Gain High-Powered Role As Lord And Savior
4/1/2019 - Former Orca Trainer Granted Final Wish To Be Buried At SeaWorld
4/1/2019 - Our Annual Year: Best Of March