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2021 December
12/31/2021 - Gwyneth Paltrow Touts New Diamond-Encrusted Trepanation Drill, Drainage Bucket On Website
12/31/2021 - Artist Crafting Music Box Hopes It Delights At Least One Child In Post-Apocalypse
12/31/2021 - Homeowner Trying To Smoke Out Snakes Accidentally Burns Down House
12/31/2021 - Dictionary.Com Names ‘Allyship’ 2021 Word Of The Year
12/31/2021 - Man Realizes ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ Actually Pretty Creepy After Rewatching It As Adult
12/30/2021 - Idiotic New Year’s Resolutions You’ll Never Actually Keep
12/30/2021 - New Initiative Decreases Stigma Against Homeless By Making Majority Of People Homeless
12/30/2021 - Italian Dentist Presents Fake Arm For Vaccination To Get Pass
12/30/2021 - Dollar General Opening New Store For Wealthier Shoppers
12/30/2021 - Man Carefully Places Piece Of Paper In Back Pocket To Make Sure It Will Go Through Washing Machine
12/30/2021 - Woman Disgusted After Finding Out There Over 2,000 Calories In Recommended Daily Intake
12/29/2021 - Signs You’ve Become A Total Wine Snob
12/29/2021 - Disney’s Hall Of Presidents Opens Exhibit Of Historic Shadow Leaders Who Really Ran Country
12/29/2021 - Poll: 43% Of Adults Say They Have Financially Cheated On Their Partner
12/29/2021 - Woman Attempts To Hire Assassin From RentAHitman.com
12/29/2021 - Report: Majority Of Americans Would Support A New War If There Were Elephants Involved
12/29/2021 - Man With Deep Sadness Over Never Finding Someone Who Truly Knows Him Labeled ‘The Crazy Uncle’
12/28/2021 - Experts Warn Nation’s Aging Sewer Infrastructure Could Be Just One Huge Turd Away From Collapse
12/28/2021 - Biggest Mistakes All Gun Owners Make
12/28/2021 - Study: Climate Change Causing Albatross ‘Divorce’
12/28/2021 - Walmart Using Driverless Trucks In Delivery Pilot Program
12/28/2021 - Perverted Clown Mounts Funhouse Mirror On Ceiling Above Bed
12/28/2021 - Homeowner’s Ring Security Alerts Now Just Texting News Stories About Black-On-Black Crime
12/27/2021 - Man In Shower Sets Wet Band-Aid On Tub Edge To Throw Out In Few Months
12/27/2021 - Hey Gamers, We Know We Can Sometimes Be A Little One-Note About Gaming So If You Ever Want To Talk About Something Else, Like Baking Or Whatever, Just Know We’re Down
12/27/2021 - Oakley Introduces Line Of Sunglasses For Front Of Head
12/27/2021 - Signs You’ve Spent Too Much Time With Your Family Over The Holidays
12/27/2021 - Scientists Create Ultra-Hot Superionic Black Ice
12/27/2021 - Poll: More Americans Not Planning To Have Kids
12/27/2021 - Man’s Natural Instinct To Fear The Unfamiliar Overcome By Promise Of ‘Great Barbecue Taste’
12/24/2021 - Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas
12/24/2021 - Study: Grandmothers May Hold Deeper Bond With Grandchildren Than Own Children
12/24/2021 - New Study Suggests Cats May Legitimately Be Psychopaths
12/24/2021 - Parents Spent Too Much On Piano Lessons For Son Not To Play Dumb Little Song Every Time He Comes Home
12/24/2021 - Netflix Exhausts Holiday Movie Lineup With ‘A Very Christmas Scimitar’
12/23/2021 - ‘Can You Check The Back For 500 Million More Of These Covid Test Kits,’ Says Biden Picking Up Few Things From CVS
12/23/2021 - Woman Annoyed At Mother’s Suggestion To Consider Freezing Her Leftovers
12/23/2021 - What To Say If You’re Not Comfortable Traveling During Covid-19
12/23/2021 - Jelly Belly Releases New Flavors Based On J.K. Rowling’s Other Works
12/23/2021 - Babies Survive Tornado That Carried Them Away In Bathtub
12/23/2021 - Restaurant Chalk Sign Insinuating There Something Naughty About Chili
12/22/2021 - Biden Pledges 500 Million Free Virus Tests To Counter Omicron
12/22/2021 - More Fridge Magnets Forced To Take On Extra Holiday Work Holding Up Christmas Cards
12/22/2021 - Nation Gathers Around Picky Eater To Make Him Try Things He Doesn’t Like
12/22/2021 - Philadelphia Woman Gives Birth On Way To Hospital In Tesla On Autopilot
12/22/2021 - Star High School Quarterback Blissfully Unaware He’ll Be Jets Starter 4 Years From Now
12/22/2021 - Worst Mistakes You Can Make At A Company Holiday Party
12/21/2021 - Manchin Says He Will Not Vote For Build Back Better Act
12/21/2021 - ‘Ooohhh, That Sounds Good!’ Says Woman Overhearing Pharmacy Order Of Person Before Her
12/21/2021 - If Someone Gives You A Bad Gift, Do Not Say These Things
12/21/2021 - Pro Athletes Share Their Favorite Holiday Traditions
12/21/2021 - What Child Is This?
12/21/2021 - Lawyer Explains That Just Because You Accidentally Kill Santa Doesn't Mean You’re Legally Obligated To Take His Place
12/21/2021 - Disheveled Mr. Met Spends Lockout Sadly Breakdancing For Tips On 7 Train
12/21/2021 - 70-Year-Old Arrested For BASE Jumping Off Virginia Skyscrapers
12/21/2021 - Police Finally Throw Out Old, Embarrassing Evidence From ’80s
12/20/2021 - FDA Will Permanently Allow Abortion Pills By Mail
12/20/2021 - Report: No One Got Covid And It Was One Hell Of A Party You Missed
12/20/2021 - Most Frequent Porn Searches By State
12/20/2021 - Nation’s Next Of Kin Exhausted From Constantly Identifying Bodies
12/20/2021 - ‘Look, We’re Matching!’ Cry All 330 Million Americans, Pointing To Leopard Print Sweaters
12/20/2021 - Landlord Positions ‘We Call Police’ Sign In Middle Of Christmas Wreath
12/20/2021 - Things To Never Say To Someone Who Is Alone For The Holidays
12/20/2021 - Robotic Fish Frighten Aquatic Pests To Death
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of January
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of February
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of March
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of April
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of May
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of June
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of July
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of August
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of September
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of October
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of November
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of Politics
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of OGN
12/20/2021 - Our Annual Year: Best Of Sports
12/17/2021 - Jim Jordan Forwarded Mark Meadows Plot For Pence To Stop Election Results
12/17/2021 - The Onion Explains Inflation
12/17/2021 - Congress To Investigate Events Of Jan. 6 Until Group Of Patriotic Americans Brave Enough To Stop Them
12/17/2021 - Things No One Tells You Happen When You Fly First Class
12/17/2021 - ‘We’re Still Gonna Go To Vegas, Buddy,’ Says U.S. Soldier Holding Dying Drone In His Arms
12/17/2021 - AmazonSmile Donated More Than $40,000 To Anti-Vaccine Groups In 2020
12/16/2021 - Smattering Of Half-Remembered Facts From Ezra Klein’s Podcast Somehow Fail To Change Conservative Family Member’s Entire Worldview
12/16/2021 - University Of Florida Launches Investigation Into Reports Of Pressure To Destroy Covid Research
12/16/2021 - Bruce Springsteen Relishes Finally Telling Off Foreman After Catalog Sells For $500 Million
12/16/2021 - Critics Warn Biden’s Plan To Remove Lead Pipes Would Put Millions Of Potential Murder Weapons In Circulation
12/16/2021 - Want To Make These Amazing Glitter Bagels? Too Bad, They’re My Secret Recipe And I’ll Never Tell, Even If You Shoot My Kids In Front Of Me
12/16/2021 - Somewhat Athletic Couple Gives Birth To Potential Division III Lacrosse Player
12/16/2021 - Those We Lost In 2021
12/16/2021 - Tim Duncan Claims He Has Helped Over 20,000 Women With Sensible Retirement Planning
12/16/2021 - Hockey Team Apologizes For ‘Degrading’ Cash-Grab For Teachers
12/16/2021 - A Pest Control Company Bought A Half-Page Ad On Our Cover, And We’re In No Position To Turn It Down
12/16/2021 - TV Show Makes Up For Lack Of Diverse Characters With Guy Who Says ‘Abuelita’ A Lot
12/15/2021 - Reddit, TikTok Users Spam Kellogg With Fake Applications To Help Striking Workers
12/15/2021 - Leaked January 6 Texts To White House
12/15/2021 - A-Rod Slams Manny Ramirez For Lackluster Fielding During MLB Hall Of Fame Candidate Debate
12/15/2021 - Games Bring People Together: We Don’t Have Any Specific Story Right Now That Proves This Point, But We Wanted To Express The General Sentiment
12/15/2021 - Lakers Fans Frustrated With Volatile Hot Dog Prices In Crypto.Com Arena
12/15/2021 - Worst Things You Can Say To Your Rideshare Driver
12/15/2021 - Pfizer Granted Emergency Use For Pill That Kills You Before Covid Can
12/15/2021 - Coronavirus In 2021: A Timeline
12/15/2021 - Grandma Still Doesn’t Have Flat-Screen TV
12/15/2021 - U.S. Facing Santa Shortage
12/14/2021 - Time Names Elon Musk 2021 ‘Person Of The Year’
12/14/2021 - Amazon Fires Employees Who Didn’t Clock Out After Getting Buried In Rubble
12/14/2021 - Texas School’s Unbanned Books Down To 3 Copies Of Tom Clancy’s ‘Threat Vector’
12/14/2021 - New Marvel Trailer Reveals That Spider-Man Up To His Wild, Web-Slinging Antics Yet Again
12/14/2021 - Gynecologist Politely Tells Patient That She Forgot To Take Dildo Out
12/14/2021 - Political Analysts Say GOP Could Take House If A Few Key Assassinations Break Their Way
12/14/2021 - Assisted-Suicide Pod Offering ‘Painless Death’ Cleared For Use In Switzerland
12/14/2021 - GOP Warns Loophole In New Bill Could Still Allow Teachers To Sing About Critical Race Theory
12/14/2021 - Things To Never Say When Explaining Death To A Child
12/13/2021 - Anchor Chris Wallace Leaving Fox News
12/13/2021 - Cash-Strapped Planned Parenthood Forced To Sell Fetus Bulldozer
12/13/2021 - Report: Over 90,000 Americans Die Every Year From Living Way You Do
12/13/2021 - Nation Attempts To Fall Asleep By Doing Little Impression Of Sleeping
12/13/2021 - Signs You Are The Least Favorite Parent
12/13/2021 - New Proposed Wealth Tax Would Target Americans With Circular Driveways
12/13/2021 - Words Can’t Describe What Man With Limited Vocabulary Feeling Right Now
12/13/2021 - TV Network Refuses To Air ‘Miracle On 34th Street’ For Outdated Depictions Of Hope, Joy
12/11/2021 - Army Receives 15-Yard Penalty For Drone-Striking The Kicker
12/10/2021 - Starbucks Workers At Store In Buffalo Vote To Unionize
12/10/2021 - New Zillow Feature Lets Users Track Happy Lives Of People Who Outbid Them For Dream House
12/10/2021 - Smithsonian Acquires Coat Hanger Neil Armstrong And Buzz Aldrin Used To Get Back Inside Lunar Module After Locking Selves Out
12/10/2021 - The Best Things We Watched And Read In 2021
12/10/2021 - Timeline Of Russia-Ukraine Conflict
12/10/2021 - Worst Instagram Captions To Announce Your Engagement
12/10/2021 - Employees Immediately Tune Out CEO’s Speech After He Mentions There Won’t Be Layoffs
12/10/2021 - CEO Fires 900 Employees Over Zoom
12/10/2021 - Instagram Now Telling Users To Take A Break From Using App
12/9/2021 - Executives Urge Boycott Of Kellogg’s After CEO Receives Insulting Salary Offer Of $11 Million A Year
12/9/2021 - Cannabis Company Makes 850-Pound Pot Brownie
12/9/2021 - Mrs. Fields CEO Under Fire For Laying Off 1,000 Employees Via Cookie Cake
12/9/2021 - Watch This Wall Hold Up Entire Building
12/9/2021 - ‘And What Do You Want Me To Do, Brush Every Night?’ Snaps Jen Psaki At Dentist Suggesting She Could Improve Oral Hygiene
12/9/2021 - Bad News Gamers: It Appears Now Is Not The Time For Idle Merriment
12/9/2021 - Fantasy Owner Struggles With Morality After Absolutely Swindling Friend In Last Place
12/9/2021 - ‘Sesame Street’ Introduces First Enigmatic Muppet Who Has Yet To Reveal True Intentions
12/9/2021 - Devin Nunes Leaving Congress To Run Trump Social Media Venture
12/9/2021 - Senators Explain What Gun Control Means To Them
12/9/2021 - ‘As Long As I Keep Dancing, God Will Spare Humanity’ Our Unsettling Conversation With Jojo Siwa
12/8/2021 - Kim Jong-Un Eagerly Waiting For Inner Circle To Get Big Enough So He Can Start Executing People Again
12/8/2021 - Damian Lillard Gives Trailblazers List Of 12,482 Preferred Trade Destinations
12/8/2021 - Be Cool, For Once, Gamers: Mrs. Thompson Said We Might Get to Play ‘Minecraft’ If We Finish The Quiz By 11:45
12/8/2021 - Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Displays 43 Bullets Ringo Starr Took For John Lennon Before Mark David Chapman Caught Him Off Guard
12/8/2021 - Kentucky Derby Winner Medina Spirit Dies During Track Workout
12/8/2021 - U.S. Announces Diplomatic Boycott Of Beijing Winter Olympics
12/8/2021 - Most Frequently Googled Sex Questions
12/8/2021 - ‘You Know, If I Were You, I’d Go After Finland,’ Says Biden Trying To Dissuade Putin From Invading Ukraine
12/8/2021 - ‘The Oregon Trail’ Turns 50
12/8/2021 - Teary-Eyed Prince Andrew Reveals Ghislaine Maxwell Groomed Him To Have Sex With Dozens Of Teens
12/7/2021 - Study Finds 87% Of Home Invasions Foiled After Homeowner Nervously Mutters, ‘Who’s There?’
12/7/2021 - Things You Should Never Say To Someone Who Makes Less Money Than You
12/7/2021 - Australia Drunkest Country In World
12/6/2021 - CNN Fires Chris Cuomo
12/6/2021 - Old TV Show’s Joke About Richard Nixon Being The Current President Would Never Fly Today
12/6/2021 - Federal Witness Protection Program Criticized For Failing To Create Believable Female Identities
12/6/2021 - Friday Night Lites
12/6/2021 - Abortion Laws In Every State
12/6/2021 - Aging Stalker Not Sure How Many Good Years Of Crouching In Bushes He Has Left
12/6/2021 - Office Workers Terrorized By Unhinged Ex-Employee Dropping In To Say Hi
12/6/2021 - Verizon Customer Just Wants Acknowledgment He’s Been Treated Worse Than Any Other Person In Company’s History
12/6/2021 - ‘Home Alone’ House Available To Book On Airbnb
12/5/2021 - Seahawks Offensive Lineman Confused By Complicated Scheme Requiring Him To Make Block
12/5/2021 - Centrist NFL Fan Spends Sunday Rooting For Line Of Scrimmage
12/3/2021 - Germany Imposes Nationwide Lockdown For Unvaccinated People
12/3/2021 - Bounty Scientists Scream As Experimental Paper Towel Absorbs Entire Lab
12/3/2021 - This One’s Just Footage Of A Claw Machine. Is This What You Want?
12/3/2021 - Signs The Spark Has Definitely Left Your Relationship
12/3/2021 - ‘Information About Your Upcoming Flight’ Email Informs Passenger That Airplane Will Go In Sky
12/3/2021 - What To Know About The Covid Omicron Variant
12/3/2021 - Party Evacuated Following Reports Of Host Assembling Some Sort Of Activity
12/3/2021 - Woman Brings Clothes To Dressing Room To See What They’ll Look Like Scattered Across Floor
12/3/2021 - Twitter Bans Sharing Images Of Private Individuals Without Their Consent
12/2/2021 - Trump Tested Positive For Covid Ahead Of 2020 Debate With Biden
12/2/2021 - Hospital Adds $20,000 Scan That Informs Patient Whether They Have Feet
12/2/2021 - Signs Your Mother-In-Law Actually Hates You
12/2/2021 - Rob Manfred Confirms Pete Rose Remains Ineligible From DraftKings Official MLB Hall Of Fame At Cooperstown
12/2/2021 - A Week In The Life Of Taylor Swift
12/2/2021 - Prison Acknowledges Security Lapse That Led To Ghislaine Maxwell Spending Night In Noose Room
12/2/2021 - U.S. Warns Dozens Of Foreign Powers Have Access To Food
12/2/2021 - Questions I'm Always Asked As A 58-Year-Old Gen Z-er
12/2/2021 - Starbucks Dangles Tied-Up Union Organizers Over Vat Of Steamed Milk
12/2/2021 - The Cost Of Crystal Meth: What You Should Know About This Deadly Drug And Where You Can Buy Some If You Decide It’s Worth The Risk
12/2/2021 - World’s First Living Robots Can Now Reproduce, Say Scientists
12/2/2021 - Nation’s Mothers Demand To Know Where You Heard That Word
12/1/2021 - Giannis Antetokounmpo Comes Out Of Nowhere To Block Shot In Nuggets-Magic Game
12/1/2021 - As A Show Of Good Faith, We’re Sending In 10 Little-Known Facts About ‘The Witcher’ And All We Ask Is You Not Harm Any Of The Hostages
12/1/2021 - Dr. Oz Announces Bid For Pennsylvania Senate Seat
12/1/2021 - ‘It Would Be So Easy,’ Think 79% Of People Holding Ladders For Loved Ones Putting Up Christmas Lights
12/1/2021 - 80 Famous
12/1/2021 - Dr. Oz Endorses Benefits Of U.S. Senate Despite Proven Deadly Side Effects
12/1/2021 - Hertz Hopeful New Football Player Spokesperson Doesn’t Murder Two People This Time Around
12/1/2021 - NASA Delays Space Walk After It Starts Snowing In Outer Space
12/1/2021 - Brian Kelly Admits He Never Actually Believed In God
12/1/2021 - What To Know About The Ghislaine Maxwell Trial
12/1/2021 - Barbados Cuts Final Ties With British Monarchy