MARS—Journeying thousands of lightyears to honor their fallen peer, spacecraft traveled from all over the Milky Way to attend a ceremony celebrating the late Opportunity rover’s life, sources close to the deceased reported Wednesday. “We came as soon as we received the gamma-ray transmission informing us of Opportunity’s demise,” said Zorunder X, a sentient interstellar ship from Kepler-442b, who reportedly joined the hyper-ion motorcade of his fellow AIs, unmanned shuttlecraft, and alien-machine hybrids traveling to Mars to mourn the loss of NASA’s longest-serving planetary rover. “It’s always a bit of a trek to get here, but we knew we had to come to the Red Planet and pay our respects. While we sometimes had our differences, at the end of the day, Opportunity and I always respected each other’s missions. It’s a sad occasion, of course, but it’s nice to see so many friends gathering together to say goodbye.” Reports confirmed the service concluded with a touching eulogy from Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin, who tossed the first ceremonial handful of red dust onto the rover’s grave before it was lowered into the ground.
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