SAN DIEGO, CA—After waiting in mounting anticipation for nearly an hour only to be duped by an identical marine mammal, audience members voiced their disappointment Thursday in the revelation that the so-called “special guest” appearing at SeaWorld’s sea lion show was, in fact, merely an additional sea lion. “They’ve been hyping this up for the last 45 minutes. I had my camera ready for a really cool surprise performer, but no, all we get is another sea lion,” said Enid Grossman, who, like most other guests in attendance, had assumed the use of swirling spotlights and high-energy music throughout the show indicated the mysterious guest would be a celebrity of some sort or, at the very least, a different sort of animal. “I know the show is called ‘Sea Lions Tonite,’ but there were already a bunch of them doing tricks and stuff this whole time. Even when they announced ‘Mayor Flipper’ and brought out more buckets of fish, I was hoping for a dolphin. But nope. I came to this aquarium alone to enjoy the show, and I don’t think I was wrong to have a certain level of expectation, but this is clearly false advertising. I can’t believe this is happening to me again.” Grossman, who swore never to return, nevertheless stayed for the entire performance and seemed to enjoy the grand finale, in which all five sea lions formed a line and balanced beach balls on their noses.
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