Speech That Will Get You Arrested In Russia

Most people find they can’t finish this word before being shot on sight.

C’mon, now. You’re just asking to be sent to the gulag at this point.

What do you mean, “seems like”?

No, they aren’t. Straight to jail for you.

Russian police officers are pretty sick of hearing this one by now.

If there’s anything Russian Nationalists hate more than glorifying the American West, it’s the voice of Matt Damon.

Saying this in a classroom could get you thrown in jail in Russia, unlike here in the United States, where it will only get you fired and sued.

It’s a universally hated practice, but in the Russian Federation, it is punishable by up to 30 years in prison and a 10,000,000-ruble fine.

That’s classified, kid. Who do you work for?

Russia is not falling for another door-to-door oligarch salesman again.

Love must be shown through action, not words.

Russian law mandates Putin is always the F in games of F, Marry, Kill.

Jail is kinda the least of your worries with this one.

In terms of arousing suspicion, this is kind of a longstanding no-no.

While hockey arenas may be frigid, saying anything bad about a national sport will result in jail time.

Don’t ask questions.

If you’re the protagonist of Crime And Punishment, you will indeed get arrested.

Praising the former imperial house of Russia is just a bit of a cliché at this point.

If Americans think Russia keeps its citizens safe, they’ll think Putin has gone soft.