FootballMac Jones Calls Game ‘Must Win’ After Bill Belichick Shows Him Picture Of His Family SleepingLAS VEGAS—Discussing what was riding on the team’s upcoming contest against the Las Vegas Raiders, New England Patriots quarterback Mac Jones reportedly called the game a “must win” after head coach Bill Belichick showed him pictures of Jones’…
BasketballMichael Jordan Opens Up About Long-Term Effects Of Orange Gatorade Seeping Out Of HeadJUPITER ISLAND, FL—Shedding light on a condition he’s been quietly struggling with since the ’90s, basketball legend Michael Jordan opened up Thursday about the long-term effects of orange Gatorade seeping out of his head. “Back in my playing days,…
News In BriefNeymar Wins World Cup’s Golden Tears Award For Most Faked InjuriesLUSAIL, QATAR—In a ceremony honoring the top on-field performances in the 2022 World Cup, Brazilian forward Neymar received the Golden Tears award Monday for the most faked injuries. “The Golden Tears award is given to the player who best…
BasketballKyrie Irving Alleges Kyrie Irving Just CIA Creation Made To Spread Misinformation To American PeopleBROOKLYN, NY—Telling reporters that he had uncovered the truth and needed to bring it to the public’s attention, Brooklyn Nets guard Kyrie Irving alleged Tuesday that Kyrie Irving was just a CIA creation invented to spread misinformation to the…
News In BriefNeymar Wins World Cup’s Golden Tears Award For Most Faked InjuriesLUSAIL, QATAR—In a ceremony honoring the top on-field performances in the 2022 World Cup, Brazilian forward Neymar received the Golden Tears award Monday for the most faked injuries. “The Golden Tears award is given to the player who best…
News In BriefOut-Of-Shape Streaker Ashamed After Cramp Forces Him To Walk Rest Of Way Across Football Field
News In BriefNew World Cup Fan Frantically Searching Online For Any Information He Can Find On Country Of ‘United States’
NBAMichael Jordan Opens Up About Long-Term Effects Of Orange Gatorade Seeping Out Of HeadJUPITER ISLAND, FL—Shedding light on a condition he’s been quietly struggling with since the ’90s, basketball legend Michael Jordan opened up Thursday about the long-term effects of orange Gatorade seeping out of his head. “Back in my playing days,…
NBAKyrie Irving Alleges Kyrie Irving Just CIA Creation Made To Spread Misinformation To American People
NFLNick Bosa Quietly Admits To Offensive Tackle That Being Held Feels NicePHILADELPHIA—As the players stood around on the field during a timeout in the NFC Championship game, San Francisco 49ers defensive end Nick Bosa was reportedly heard quietly admitting to Philadelphia Eagles offensive tackle Jordan Mailata that being…
BaseballMLB Owners Hold Separate Meeting For Teams Actually Trying To Win Next SeasonSAN DIEGO—Following a long day of conferences on potential rule changes and other league business, MLB owners reportedly held a separate meeting Monday for teams actually trying to win next season. “It’s a small group, but it’s nice to get together…
GolfNew Golf Channel Show Just 30-Minute Praising Of Saudi RoyalsORLANDO, FL—As part of an increase in programming aimed toward strengthening a relationship with a key demographic, a new Golf Channel show that debuted Tuesday night is reportedly just a 30-minute praising of the Saudi royals. “I can’t say enough…
Horse RacingMedina Spirit Trashes Trailer In Steroid-Fueled Rage After Being Told Of Second Positive Test
Horse RacingBob Baffert Once Again Denies Doping Allegations After Medina Spirit Wins Coca-Cola 600CHARLOTTE, NC—Insisting that he would be cleared of all wrongdoing and is the target of a media witch hunt, embattled horse trainer Bob Baffert once again denied doping allegations Monday after his horse Medina Spirit won the Coca-Cola 600. “It’s a…
Horse RacingYoung Mare Can’t Believe Stallion She Slept With Lied To Her About Being 5-2 Favorite In Preakness StakesBALTIMORE—Cursing herself out for ever having been so gullible, local mare Persephone couldn’t believe the stallion she slept with Friday had lied to her about being a 5-2 betting odds favorite in the Preakness Stakes. “That son of a bitch wasn’t…
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