SportsBaseballSportsBaseballBud Selig Admits Taking Steroids Throughout CommissionershipMILWAUKEE, WI—Reflecting on the aspects of his tenure as the top executive of Major League Baseball, Bud Selig on…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballMLB Owners Hold Separate Meeting For Teams Actually Trying To Win Next SeasonSAN DIEGO—Following a long day of conferences on potential rule changes and other league business, MLB owners…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballAstros Credit World Series Win To Subject Of Future MLB InvestigationHOUSTON—Following their victory over the Philadelphia Phillies to clinch the title, the Houston Astros credited…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballAstros Caught Politely Asking Catcher For Little Heads-Up On Pitch SelectionSEATTLE—In a shocking revelation that carries grim echoes of the team’s sign stealing in the 2017 and 2018 seasons,…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballRoger Maris Jr. Sets Single-Season Record For Most Annoying Son Of Famous Player
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballAaron Judge: ‘I Wish I’d Just Used Steroids And Hit 80 Home Runs’NEW YORK—With the end of the MLB regular season leaving the slugger at 62 home runs, the seventh-most ever in a…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballNew MLB.Com Discount Tier Lets Users Look At Clipart Of BaseballNEW YORK—Touting the offering as perfect for baseball fans who wanted to save some money on their streaming service,…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballFernando Tatis Jr. Quietly Asks Doctor If There Anything He Can Take To Come Back From PED Suspension QuickerSAN DIEGO—Stressing that he wasn’t looking for a miracle but could use a little bit of help, San Diego Padres…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballTigers Center Fielder Crashes Into Outfield Wall Just To Feel SomethingDETROIT—Facing yet another crushing loss during a long season on one of the worst teams in baseball, Detroit Tigers…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballMore MLB Teams Trying To Attract Younger Audience With Free Prostate Exam DayNEW YORK—In an effort to expand their fan bases amid concerns about falling stadium attendance, more Major League…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballReport: Nothing Beats Seeing Yankees Lose At HomeNEW YORK—An exhaustive report drawing on data compiled over the past several decades and released Tuesday concluded…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballRob Manfred Extends Olive Branch To Minor Leaguers By Letting Them Run Bases At MLB Stadium After GameNEW YORK—In response to growing unrest among the players regarding their salaries, Major League Baseball…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballArea Baseball Fan Excited For First-Round Draft Pick They’ll Never Hear About AgainBRECKSVILLE, OH—Eagerly learning what experts were saying about the player for the fourth straight day, area…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballRob Manfred Open To Any Ideas To Make MLB All-Star Game Worse This YearNEW YORK—Declaring that he was always looking for ways to impair the fan experience, Major League Baseball…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballNation Unable To Enjoy Baseball Without Dozens Of Pitchers Hitting .124LEE’S SUMMIT, MO—Lamenting that it would never again be able to relish the game as it was intended, the nation…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballDumbass Kid Bringing Mitt To MLB Game Must Think He’s Actually Going To PlayANAHEIM—Earning looks of incredulity and pity from fans at his breathtaking stupidity, a dumbass kid bringing a mitt…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballBabe Ruth Comparisons Grow After Hammered Shohei Ohtani Eats 53 Hot DogsANAHEIM, CA—With baseball experts and fans alike agreeing that a player of his abilities hadn’t been seen in the…
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballYankees Attribute Offensive Slump To Terrified Hitters Closing Eyes During SwingNEW YORK—Responding to criticism about the team’s slow start to the 2022 season, New York Yankees manager Aaron…