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Rob Manfred Extends Olive Branch To Minor Leaguers By Letting Them Run Bases At MLB Stadium After Game

NEW YORK—In response to growing unrest among the players regarding their salaries, Major League Baseball…

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Area Baseball Fan Excited For First-Round Draft Pick They’ll Never Hear About Again

BRECKSVILLE, OH—Eagerly learning what experts were saying about the player for the fourth straight day, area…

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Rob Manfred Open To Any Ideas To Make MLB All-Star Game Worse This Year

NEW YORK—Declaring that he was always looking for ways to impair the fan experience, Major League Baseball…

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Nation Unable To Enjoy Baseball Without Dozens Of Pitchers Hitting .124

LEE’S SUMMIT, MO—Lamenting that it would never again be able to relish the game as it was intended, the nation…

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Dumbass Kid Bringing Mitt To MLB Game Must Think He’s Actually Going To Play

ANAHEIM—Earning looks of incredulity and pity from fans at his breathtaking stupidity, a dumbass kid bringing a mitt…

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Babe Ruth Comparisons Grow After Hammered Shohei Ohtani Eats 53 Hot Dogs

ANAHEIM, CA—With baseball experts and fans alike agreeing that a player of his abilities hadn’t been seen in the…

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Yankees Attribute Offensive Slump To Terrified Hitters Closing Eyes During Swing

NEW YORK—Responding to criticism about the team’s slow start to the 2022 season, New York Yankees manager Aaron…

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Tee Ball Outfielder Buried Up To Chin In Ripped-Out Grass

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Cleveland Guardians Criticized For Stereotypical Depictions Of Art Deco Community

CLEVELAND—Amid a wider push for sports teams to stop using offensive mascots and imagery for their teams, the…

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MLB Owners Propose CBA That Offers Players College Credit In Lieu Of Salary

NEW YORK—In a “generous offer,” meant to bridge the gap between the two sides as contract bargaining negotiations…

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Disheveled Mr. Met Spends Lockout Sadly Breakdancing For Tips On 7 Train

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A-Rod Slams Manny Ramirez For Lackluster Fielding During MLB Hall Of Fame Candidate Debate

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Claiming the former outfielder had no place in the Hall during an intense moment as the event…

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Rob Manfred Confirms Pete Rose Remains Ineligible From DraftKings Official MLB Hall Of Fame At Cooperstown

NEW YORK—Declaring that the former player would continue to be punished for tarnishing the game of baseball by…

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Billy Eppler Takes Mets GM Job To Get Closer To Son Mr. Met

QUEENS, NY—Admitting that some personal reasons had factored in to him accepting the position, new New York Mets…

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Braves Honor Native American Past With Deadly Forced Championship Parade To Oklahoma

ATLANTA—Following the team’s six-game World Series victory over the Houston Astros, the Atlanta Braves announced…

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Astros Start Nolan Ryan In Game 6 On 10,268 Days’ Rest

HOUSTON—With their fading World Series series hopes hinging on a strong pitching performance against the Atlanta…

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Astros Hope Victory Will Inspire Kids To Break Rules Without Punishment

HOUSTON—Calling it their chief motivation for trying to beat the Atlanta Braves in the MLB World Series, members of…

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Mariners Promise Fans They’ll Be Back To Finish 2022 Playoff Race In Even More Heartbreaking Fashion

SEATTLE—Comforting the city after having their hopes dashed in the final week of the season, the Seattle Mariners…

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MLB Experts Predictions For The 2021 Postseason

“Of course, the Dodgers have to be considered the favorites, but too many people are overlooking the Mets only…

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So-Called Diehard Fan Won’t Even Leap Over Stadium Railing To Catch T-Shirt

TORONTO—Casting doubt on the 35-year-old’s commitment to the franchise, so-called diehard Blue Jays fan Eric…