SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLWashington Commanders Let Make-A-Wish Kid Announce Pick, Become New Team President, Take Fall For Financial IrregularitiesLAS VEGAS—Saying that they wanted to help fulfill the dreams of an 8-year-old boy stricken with terminal cancer, the…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLDeshaun Watson’s Contract Includes Clause Voiding Guaranteed Money In Event Of Injury Sustained During Sexual AssaultCLEVELAND, OH—Stressing that the team needed to safeguard their financial interests should their new quarterback…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLNFL Satisfies Outraged Fans With New Overtime Rule That Both Teams WinNEW YORK—Responding to outcry over the ending of a 2021 playoff victory by the Kansas City Chiefs over the Buffalo…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLCincinnati Residents Take Solace After Loss In City’s Lack Of Culture, Terrible Food, Stupid Name, Boring Downtown‘Who Cares About A Little Trophy When You’ve Got High Crime, Zero Distinctive Features, Mediocre Walkability,’ Say…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLRams Dedicate Win To Whatever City They Play ForINGLEWOOD, CA—Upon securing a decisive victory over the Cincinnati Bengals in Super Bowl LVI, the triumphant Rams…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLEminem Speaks To Police Officer After Noise Complaint Called On Super Bowl Halftime PerformanceINGLEWOOD, CA—During an awkward interruption of an otherwise lively performance, rapper Eminem was reportedly tasked…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLParanoid Snoop Dogg Hides Backstage Before Halftime Show After Taking Single Puff Of JointINGLEWOOD, CA—Coughing wildly and attempting to catch his breath while the other halftime performers pointed and…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLBoston Dynamics Dog Unstoppable At Puppy BowlGLENS FALLS, NY—Breaking its own record after scoring a touchdown to rack up its 600th point within the first…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLRams Yell At Cooper Kupp From Sidelines As He Sits In Endzone Playing With Ladybug He FoundINGLEWOOD, CA—Shaking their heads in frustration as the team lined up to take a first-down snap, members of the Los…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLPuppy Bowl Competitors Hide Under Couch During Terrifying Halftime Fireworks Display
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFL‘This Is One Hell Of A Game’ Observes Cris Collinsworth Completing Wordle
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLSean McVay Gives Passionate Speech Reminding Players Who They Are And Why They Wearing Same ClothesINGLEWOOD, CA—Calling a timeout to give his team a chance to reset, Rams head coach Sean McVay reportedly gave a…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLBengals Trainer Rushes To Give Players Coming Off Field Hydrating Bowl Of Cincinnati Chili
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLFan At 50 Yard Line Can’t Believe What Amazing Seats His Parents Have On General Electric Board Of Directors
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLBandwagon Fan Only Roots For Bengals Because He Was Drafted Onto TeamINGLEWOOD, CA—Suspicious of the 21-year-old’s purported allegiance, sources confirmed Sunday that local bandwagon…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLLos Angeles Bulldozes SoFi Stadium After Reports That Thousands Of Vagrants Convening ThereINGLEWOOD, CA—Stressing that the decision was made for the protection of its citizens, the city of Los Angeles…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLThe Most Iconic Super Bowl Commercials Of All TimeIn this iconic ad, 81-year-old Clara Peller uttered her catchphrase “Where’s the beef,” which swept the nation and…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLThe Onion’s Super Bowl LVI PreviewStafford will be primed to continue his inspirational run, showing millions of Americans what can happen when you…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLWashington Commanders Primed To Sign Free Agents After Receiving $30 Billion From Defense BudgetWASHINGTON—Saying the cash windfall will go a long way in shoring up their mediocre offense, the newly renamed…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLGreatest NFL Playoff MomentsJoe Montana’s six-yard pass to Dwight Clark is worth watching on YouTube today, so that modern fans can marvel at…