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Deshaun Watson: ‘I Was Under The Impression That The NFL Was Cool With This Stuff’

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ESPN Releases Way-Too-Early Predictions Of NFL Players To Die By Age 45

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Deshaun Watson Rethinks Life Choices After Finding Self On Browns

CLEVELAND—In the wake of news headlines detailing yet another scandal involving the NFL quarterback, Deshaun Watson…

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Washington Commanders Let Make-A-Wish Kid Announce Pick, Become New Team President, Take Fall For Financial Irregularities

LAS VEGAS—Saying that they wanted to help fulfill the dreams of an 8-year-old boy stricken with terminal cancer, the…

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Deshaun Watson’s Contract Includes Clause Voiding Guaranteed Money In Event Of Injury Sustained During Sexual Assault

CLEVELAND, OH—Stressing that the team needed to safeguard their financial interests should their new quarterback…

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NFL Satisfies Outraged Fans With New Overtime Rule That Both Teams Win

NEW YORK—Responding to outcry over the ending of a 2021 playoff victory by the Kansas City Chiefs over the Buffalo…

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Cincinnati Residents Take Solace After Loss In City’s Lack Of Culture, Terrible Food, Stupid Name, Boring Downtown

‘Who Cares About A Little Trophy When You’ve Got High Crime, Zero Distinctive Features, Mediocre Walkability,’ Say…

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Rams Dedicate Win To Whatever City They Play For

INGLEWOOD, CA—Upon securing a decisive victory over the Cincinnati Bengals in Super Bowl LVI, the triumphant Rams…

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Eminem Speaks To Police Officer After Noise Complaint Called On Super Bowl Halftime Performance

INGLEWOOD, CA—During an awkward interruption of an otherwise lively performance, rapper Eminem was reportedly tasked…

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Paranoid Snoop Dogg Hides Backstage Before Halftime Show After Taking Single Puff Of Joint

INGLEWOOD, CA—Coughing wildly and attempting to catch his breath while the other halftime performers pointed and…

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Boston Dynamics Dog Unstoppable At Puppy Bowl

GLENS FALLS, NY—Breaking its own record after scoring a touchdown to rack up its 600th point within the first…

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Rams Yell At Cooper Kupp From Sidelines As He Sits In Endzone Playing With Ladybug He Found

INGLEWOOD, CA—Shaking their heads in frustration as the team lined up to take a first-down snap, members of the Los…

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Puppy Bowl Competitors Hide Under Couch During Terrifying Halftime Fireworks Display

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‘This Is One Hell Of A Game’ Observes Cris Collinsworth Completing Wordle

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Sean McVay Gives Passionate Speech Reminding Players Who They Are And Why They Wearing Same Clothes

INGLEWOOD, CA—Calling a timeout to give his team a chance to reset, Rams head coach Sean McVay reportedly gave a…

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Bengals Trainer Rushes To Give Players Coming Off Field Hydrating Bowl Of Cincinnati Chili

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Fan At 50 Yard Line Can’t Believe What Amazing Seats His Parents Have On General Electric Board Of Directors

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Bandwagon Fan Only Roots For Bengals Because He Was Drafted Onto Team

INGLEWOOD, CA—Suspicious of the 21-year-old’s purported allegiance, sources confirmed Sunday that local bandwagon…

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Los Angeles Bulldozes SoFi Stadium After Reports That Thousands Of Vagrants Convening There

INGLEWOOD, CA—Stressing that the decision was made for the protection of its citizens, the city of Los Angeles…

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The Most Iconic Super Bowl Commercials Of All Time

In this iconic ad, 81-year-old Clara Peller uttered her catchphrase “Where’s the beef,” which swept the nation and…