HARLEM, NY—In a surprise appearance that sent local spectators into a frenzy, reports confirmed that seven-time…
NEW ORLEANS—Breathing heavily after the long run returning the chew toy to the 27-year-old quarterback, local dog…
LOS ANGELES—Returning home from Tokyo as the most decorated female swimmer in history, seven-time Olympic gold…
TOKYO—Staring in wonderment as the Olympic Village, stadiums, and surrounding cityscape collapsed in upon…
LOS ANGELES—Anxiously stirring in his chair as the barber was interrupted once again, barbershop customer Jerry…
LA VISTA, NE—In a stunning display of self-delusional and outright ignorance, local kindergartner Mia Gaughan told…
TOKYO—Citing the distraction of large raptorial birds with wingspans of up to 5 feet, multiple Olympic divers told…
TOKYO—With the pair continuing to exhibit flawlessly coordinated physical behaviors, reports confirmed frightened…
NEW YORK—Touting the inhalant as the first of its kind to give the parents of athletes the extra push they need,…
NEW YORK—Accusing her of being selfish and unfit to be a gold medal gymnast, conservatives blasted Simone Biles…
SHAKER HEIGHTS, OH—Decrying the changing standards for international competition, local television viewer Edward…
TOKYO—Stressing that nothing could have prepared her for the stress of competing in front of nearly half a dozen…
BUFFALO GROVE, IL—Puzzled by what they were seeing on screen, local Olympics viewer Riley Baker reportedly asked,…
TOKYO—In a scathing broadside that condemns the organization for glorifying physical suffering on a world stage,…
TOKYO—Fielding multiple inquiries from desperate athletes hoping to pass their drug tests, Olympic mascot Miraitowa…
TOKYO—Wide-eyed and moving in a trance-like state as the bright light drew them forth, dozens of athletes were…
TOKYO—In a dazzling display that featured several artistic renditions of cities being razed by bulldozers, wrecking…
ALBUQUERQUE, NM—Emphasizing the mental strength and speed required to deescalate skirmishes between world-class…
TOKYO—In an effort to minimize close contact and limit the spread of Covid-19, the International Olympic Committee…