Staff Slowly Introducing Biden To Oval-Shaped Rooms For Smoother Transition To White House

Illustration for article titled Staff Slowly Introducing Biden To Oval-Shaped Rooms For Smoother Transition To White House

WILMINGTON, DE—Stressing that the preparation would help the administration hit the ground running, staff members announced plans Tuesday to slowly introduce Joe Biden to oval-shaped rooms for a smoother transition to the White House. “Our team wants to make sure the president elect doesn’t miss a beat on day one, which is why we’re spending the next 50 days gradually removing all corners from his residence,” said deputy chief of staff Jen O’Malley Dillon, revealing that Biden would be consulting with a team of the nation’s foremost architects on the implications of seeing curved walls wherever he looked. “What many presidential administrations don’t anticipate is exactly how curvy the walls are going to be. In fact, President Carter’s reelection campaign was doomed from the beginning because of how many hours he spent daily feeling his way along the sides of a wall, expecting to bump into a corner. He never did. We don’t intend to let that happen again.” At press time, the administration had sent out an email announcing a fundraising goal of $15 million to build an exact replica of the Oval Office in downtown Wilmington for Biden to explore.

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