State Department Warns Americans Traveling Abroad To Avoid Lame Amsterdam Windmill Tour

WASHINGTON—In an urgent warning posted online Wednesday by the U.S. State Department, American citizens traveling to the Netherlands were strongly advised to avoid the “extremely lame” Amsterdam windmill tour. “We have received specific information from credible sources suggesting that this tour is a stupid waste of time, and we advise U.S. citizens not to blow any of their money on it under any circumstance,” the alert read in part, cautioning that the historic wooden structures, while quintessentially Dutch, are not nearly as large or impressive as one might expect, and that “once you’ve seen one, you’ve pretty much seen them all.” “We highly recommend that Americans alter their plans accordingly to avoid the lousy five-hour excursion to visit a bunch of dumb windmills. U.S. citizens should be aware that by taking the tour, they put themselves at significant risk of being bored as hell.” State Department officials added that if any travelers find themselves ripped off by an afternoon-long windmill tour that doesn’t even include lunch, they should contact the U.S. embassy immediately.

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