AUSTIN, TX—Claiming that it dramatically altered the atmosphere of the get-together, friends of local man Josh Peterson told reporters Monday that the status of their casual gathering had been upgraded to “party” by the mere presence of pizza. “At first we were all just kind of hanging out and watching football, but then Josh announced from the kitchen that he was getting ready to put a pizza in the oven, and that changed everything,” said friend Sarah Carney, noting that the mood and energy in the room instantaneously improved as Peterson began preheating the oven and handing out plates and napkins. “When I first arrived, I assumed we’d just be chit-chatting in front of the TV, but this is pizza we’re talking about. Who knows what sort of revelry we’re in for now?” At press time, sources confirmed the last slice of pizza had been consumed, demoting the party back to its original rank and signaling the end of the event.


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