Crowdfunding has become a popular way to raise money from friends, family, and strangers for everything from artistic projects to medical expenses. The Onion presents a step-by-step guide to running a successful crowdfunding campaign:


STEP 1: Make sure your idea doesn’t exist yet, like a specific type of board game or properly functioning healthcare system.

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STEP 2: Take time to craft a well-thought-out and expertly articulated justification as to why you deserve a liver transplant even though you don’t have enough money.


STEP 3: Don’t ask anyone who is an expert in the field about the viability of your project. They’re just jealous.

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STEP 4: Set a funding goal that you can realistically fall short of.


STEP 5: Remind potential donors how much a cup of coffee costs.


STEP 6: After someone has donated, sending a personal thank-you message is a great opportunity to ask for more money.

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STEP 7: Start to panic when you realize you might actually have to follow through on your project.


STEP 8: Communication with your backers is key, so take time each week to email a new lie about your progress.

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STEP 9: Adjust your project’s goals by redirecting donations from medical expenses to funeral costs.


STEP 10: You’ll know you’ve done everything you can to promote your campaign once you’ve alienated everyone you’ve ever met.

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