NEW YORK—Responding to the number of irritations and annoyances she had experienced in the past week, stressed-out woman Ashley Fitton told reporters Tuesday she was treating herself to an additional $400 of credit card debt. “I had a really hard past few days, so I deserve to take some time out for myself to destroy my credit,” Fitton said as she sat down at her computer to relax by sinking deeper into debt with the purchase of several new outfits and makeup palettes she couldn’t afford. “Sometimes you just need to reward yourself by increasing that outstanding balance. I can already feel the tension leaving my body with every point that drops off my credit score.” At press time, Fitton had reportedly decided to really indulge with an extra $1,000 on a different card so she could get another debt collector.
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