↗ STRONGSIDE
- Is able to make trophies achieve orgasm with just one kiss
- Has completely gotten into the part of Federer’s head that is not a computer
- Headbands even thicker and more colorful than those worn by legends such as McEnroe or Bjorn Borg
- Recently discovered trick to faster-playing hard courts is just running faster
- Singe-handedly generates 65 percent of the world’s topsin
↙ WEAKSIDE
- His serving arm being way more muscular than the other is…Well, it’s fucking gross is what it is
- Never sets tennis world on fire in a literal sense
- Is a mystical earth spirit and loses much of his immense chi when not in contact with life-giving clay
- Capri pants, for the love of Christ
- Calls “backhand” his “reverse fronthand”
- Should probably work on some cool trick shot like Federer’s through-the-legs move. Man, is Federer great or what?