Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

Illustration for article titled Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?



  • Finished first in class at Yale School of Sabermetrics
  • Only person in America emotionally invested in Single-A South Bend Cubs
  • Views baseball game as hundreds of formulas running across field
  • Believes this might be the year he finally wins fantasy baseball league
  • Can explain phenomenon of curses using highly complex linear regression
  • Turned the 2002 Red Sox into a contender using only the second-highest payroll in baseball


  • No fucking way he could do this magic turnaround shit for the Padres
  • Lucky shirt costs $400
  • Not even sure how to use gut feeling at this point
  • Helped make Curt Schilling a World Series hero
  • Took almost six years after college to achieve every single one of his dreams
  • Still doesn’t have statistic named after him